Should One Being Trans be Disclosed While Dating?

[Zeitgeist]

7 minutes ago, Michael Hardner said:

I generally agree but also... it depends on some factors.  What is a "date" ?  If I have coffee with a friend is that a 'date' ?  If things turn towards having a relationship - even one that's not focussed on sexual activity - it's probably better to let someone know.

I’m not sure such things can and should be legislated unless a couple is seeking to get married.  However, it is ethical to disclose trans identity for potential sexual relationships and in certain circumstances.  It should be legislated for sports.  

[Perspektiv]

4 hours ago, Zeitgeist said:

The bottom line is that trans women are not women and trans men are not men, at least not factually or scientifically, which is what counts.  

I don't understand how knowing this, makes one transphobic.

Caitlyn Jenner was clearly previously a male. She doesn't fool anyone. However, she identifies as a woman, so people give her that respect.

I think common sense should be at play here. Just because you feel like a woman, one can't realistically expect others to see you in the same way.

4 hours ago, Zeitgeist said:

It will, however, help them cope with something called reality. 

Travel to most countries in the world, and they won't give two s***s about how you feel inside.

We have chosen to cater to this demographic at a level where bending facts and language to avoid hurting their feelings.

Its almost as of they are thought of as low IQ, and wouldn't see that even with all this, they are still seen in the same way.

[CdnFox]

6 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

I generally agree but also... it depends on some factors.  What is a "date" ?  If I have coffee with a friend is that a 'date' ?  If things turn towards having a relationship - even one that's not focussed on sexual activity - it's probably better to let someone know.

If you can't tell when you're on a date - you've got larger issues than just your gender to worry about.

[SpankyMcFarland]

I would favour disclosure before any of that dating carry-on happens. Doubt I’ll ever be affected one way or the other.

[Legato]

22 hours ago, CdnFox said:

If you can't tell when you're on a date - you've got larger issues than just your gender to worry about.

That's why there are apples.

[Perspektiv]

7 minutes ago, Legato said:

That's why there are apples.

You could shave those smooth.

Breast implants have advanced way past the Pamela Anderson days. They can look insanely natural.

Butt implants. You name it.

Go to Thailand. Some of these trans women look better than the biological ones.

They also have some of the world's best surgeons for this stuff.

I go by hands and the voice. Hardest thing to fool a person with. That, or being without makeup.

If hands face and voice pass the sniff test, I don't give a f*** what anyone says. I would date that woman without hesitation.

I have just yet to meet one that did.

[herbie]

whiskers sticking out the pancake makeup....
it nearly drove you insane....

FFS if you gotta stick your hand down her pants to find out and you were wrong then you should beat yourself senseless for being so slow.... hell if you got to the point of sticking hands inside pants you were interested so what does it matter?

[CdnFox]

2 hours ago, herbie said:

whiskers sticking out the pancake makeup....
it nearly drove you insane....

FFS if you gotta stick your hand down her pants to find out and you were wrong then you should beat yourself senseless for being so slow.... hell if you got to the point of sticking hands inside pants you were interested so what does it matter?

What? Dude - you just failed the turing test.

[Perspektiv]

11 hours ago, herbie said:

FFS if you gotta stick your hand down her pants to find out

If you're out clubbing and drinking, a passable woman that would be noticed sober may clear your radar.

All it takes is a little makeup, and her making her voice as feminine as possible.

I have seen it happen, especially in Thailand.

IE gorgeous trans woman, with an insanely drunk British male. He legit looks like he has no clue.

She caught me checking her out, and then calls for her boyfriend, to let me know she is taken, in the deepest voice possible.

I was sober, so that quickly put me off, but alcohol is a hell of a drug.

I have also seen people get catfished during online dating.

I feel one should be honest, and not be opportunists about this. Its shady at best.

If a guy loves you for who you are, all the better for you.

If being trans is perfectly normal, why hide it? Why not own it?

[Perspektiv]

While highly unfortunate, this seemingly far too often winds up being the end result of failing to disclose one's gender.

They are making it out to be a random hate crime, but if you're working with someone highly ignorant expecting a biological woman, and finding out they were given oral sex by what they feel is a male. How that trans person feels inside becomes irrelevant, with a firearm pointed at them, and a now irate individual.

I have seen this countless times.

Personally, the murderers judgment is way off, as to most, this being a trans woman is blatantly obvious.

Reminds me of the Jerry Springer episodes where men would be beside themselves, as women looking like the black giant in Green Mile and sounding the same, talking about: "we've been dating a while, but I have a secret...".

Sorry, but unless you're a crackhead. You knew.

[Perspektiv]

On 11/21/2023 at 3:40 PM, TreeBeard said:

What does pregnancy have to do with it?

When I was dating, I was looking for marriage. Not just for fun, not friendship. Marriage. I knew what I wanted, and wanted to find a woman who did as well.

Also included in the mix, is the open assumption of potentially wanting children down the road.

Unless the conversation is had, I would like to assume its fair to believe that its on the table, should you want to grow together.

This is not always the case, and the counter argument being, what if she was biologically female and couldn't have kids? Its just not the same.

My ex wife had all the plumbing to get the job done, but a birth defect made it impossible for her to bear children, even though all other parts of her worked just fine.

So she got all the pregnancy symptoms, minus the pregnancy due to it. This is sort of how we found out. 

Its a lot easier to hear that "I can't have kids. My fallopian tubes don't work like they are supposed to", than "I was born a male".

One will likely be devastating and disappointing, and the latter would feel like you had been lied to, and utter betrayal. 

Or at least to me it would.

I think it does a grave disservice to people, to allow them to believe that just because they feel like a woman, that's all that is required to be one.

You could push my line of thinking as underground as you would like, but the reality is no amount of gaslighting will change the reality that is blatantly obvious to most who simply politely keep their thoughts to themselves.

When you see tight political races like Biden vs Trump, some only see Biden as being better.

I see millions of voters who in any other period of history, would have voted for Biden, but are torn between being sick of having this level of woke BS jammed down their throats and voting for the only available voice that utterly rejects it.

It tells me most people are perfectly sane, still.

[Michael Hardner]

1 hour ago, Perspektiv said:

 

I see millions of voters who in any other period of history, would have voted for Biden, but are torn between being sick of having this level of woke BS jammed down their throats and voting for the only available voice that utterly rejects it.

I have no idea what you're talking about here. In fact, in a recent thread I stated that there is a sphere of influence for identity politics within the Democratic party and @TreeBeard disagreed with even that point.

[DUI_Offender]

On 4/4/2023 at 8:11 PM, Perspektiv said:

This is inspired by an article about Tik Tok star Adea Danielle. 

I myself have enjoyed some of her content, but to give a bit of clarification. She prefers to let someone know she is trans once she is certain things will progress vs just a date and moving on.

She has received backlash for this, which begs the question.

Is refusing to disclose you are trans underhanded? Lying?

She is clearly highly passable and beautiful, so some men wouldn't be any wiser. Is this deceptive? 

She also recently detailed an assault she suffered from disclosing she was trans to a man she did want to progress with. 

What's your take? 

Is it more a timing thing, or a it doesn't matter thing? Or outright, it should be known ahead of time?

Should ones being trans be disclosed while dating?

Of course it should.  Most men will be repulsed and irate. Some will use violence, and others will murder them. 

[CdnFox]

On 12/18/2023 at 5:09 AM, Perspektiv said:

While highly unfortunate, this seemingly far too often winds up being the end result of failing to disclose one's gender.

They are making it out to be a random hate crime, but if you're working with someone highly ignorant expecting a biological woman, and finding out they were given oral sex by what they feel is a male. How that trans person feels inside becomes irrelevant, with a firearm pointed at them, and a now irate individual.

I have seen this countless times.

Personally, the murderers judgment is way off, as to most, this being a trans woman is blatantly obvious.

Reminds me of the Jerry Springer episodes where men would be beside themselves, as women looking like the black giant in Green Mile and sounding the same, talking about: "we've been dating a while, but I have a secret...".

Sorry, but unless you're a crackhead. You knew.

While the story doesn't out and out say that's what happened, it does have the ring of truth about it.

[Perspektiv]

1 hour ago, DUI_Offender said:

Most men will be repulsed and irate.

I don't understand the irate part, unless you did anything physical with her. 

I definitely understand the repulsed part. It to me would be like dating the hottest woman you can find, having sex with her, and finding out she's your cousin.

I really don't see the difference. Unless of course  one is actively seeking this.

Let's just say one would let it slide, and have kids with her. Thats just the beginning of the end, as their inbred a** will no longer have that natural disgust. Their mom bends over in a skirt, and that barrier they once had is gone. Now she doesn't stand a chance.

I see it as no different than giving a trans woman oral, but calling her d*** a she-p***y.

It starts with this, to denying getting f***ed in the ass is gay. 

"Its not a penis. She's a woman"

Can you sit straight? Its a penis.

 

[CdnFox]

5 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

I don't understand the irate part, unless you did anything physical with her. 

I definitely understand the repulsed part. It to me would be like dating the hottest woman you can find, having sex with her, and finding out she's your cousin.

I really don't see the difference. Unless of course  one is actively seeking this.

Let's just say one would let it slide, and have kids with her. Thats just the beginning of the end, as their inbred a** will no longer have that natural disgust. Their mom bends over in a skirt, and that barrier they once had is gone. Now she doesn't stand a chance.

I see it as no different than giving a trans woman oral, but calling her d*** a she-p***y.

It starts with this, to denying getting f***ed in the ass is gay. 

"Its not a penis. She's a woman"

Can you sit straight? Its a penis.

 

I feel like i can't ever unsee this post....

[Perspektiv]

38 minutes ago, CdnFox said:

it does have the ring of truth about it.

Most people did just fine coexisting with the trans community. 

I draw the line at being gaslit about gender or the fact that the male that am seeing  in front of me scanning my order is a biological female, because she feels she is.

I will respect it. But to be demanded to abide by this person's inner feelings at all times, otherwise they will likely kill themselves?

WTF.

Am always told am the whitest black male that people know. It at times was hurtful. Now I just own it. 

It would be like me walking in the suburbs with gang bandanas covering my face and head, and at seeing horrified white people, reassuring them with: "Oh, don't be scared, I identify as a white person".

Me feeling their discomfort at seeing my black a** in a dark parking lot amounts to racism, is delusional. 

I rapidly would jump in my car and lock all my car doors asap, seeing a black dude that didn't look like he belonged there, walking past me.

Same as if I were in Israel and a woman with a Niqab approached me with waaaay too many suitcases talking about "alahu akbar".

I would run across the street and get behind any concrete structure, and deal with my racist instincts at a later time.

Yes. I have gotten nervous in airports at seeing this. I have no regrets.

[Perspektiv]

37 minutes ago, CdnFox said:

I feel like i can't ever unsee this post....

My wife tells me am the king of too much information. My bad. 

[Yakuda]

On 4/4/2023 at 10:11 PM, Perspektiv said:

This is inspired by an article about Tik Tok star Adea Danielle. 

I myself have enjoyed some of her content, but to give a bit of clarification. She prefers to let someone know she is trans once she is certain things will progress vs just a date and moving on.

She has received backlash for this, which begs the question.

Is refusing to disclose you are trans underhanded? Lying?

She is clearly highly passable and beautiful, so some men wouldn't be any wiser. Is this deceptive? 

She also recently detailed an assault she suffered from disclosing she was trans to a man she did want to progress with. 

What's your take? 

Is it more a timing thing, or a it doesn't matter thing? Or outright, it should be known ahead of time?

Should ones being trans be disclosed while dating?

This Adea person really thinks waiting to share this news until the relationship looks like it will progress is a good idea? Has any man found out that Adea is a man and the relationship actually continued to progress? I think any man who hears the persons they are dating is a man would move on. I can't fathom why you wouldnt start out with that information. 

[Perspektiv]

19 minutes ago, Yakuda said:

Has any man found out that Adea is a man and the relationship actually continued to progress?

Am sure she has. She's attractive, and post op. But it still doesn't make her a biological woman, which is something she was seeming to struggle to accept.

Let's keep it real. She has a hollowed out cavity. A woman has a vagina. She clearly was distraught at this not calming some of the men down.

I prefer vagina, as will most heterosexual men. They self lubricate, look way better and don't require constant dilation in trying to be the real thing. Oh, and minor detail, but they also belong to biological women. 

She also loves black men.

As a black man, if I was clubbing and she approached me, I would likely not know she was biologically male. 

Am from the hood. To trick someone ignorant, will not end well.

I grew up around ignorance. Gay = AIDS, and so on. It wasn't until a mutual friend came out as gay, and my favorite teacher did too, did I start realizing I was lied to about these people.

Same goes for trans people. I know plenty, and have yet to meet one that is as obnoxious as those who are the loudest on pushing forth nonsense ideology.

They own the f*** out of being trans or gay. All the power to them.

Finding out girl was a dude, could get you shot in that environment.

They won't give two f***s that she identifies as a woman, nor will understand gender ideology, if ignorant. 

Personally I would be deeply disappointed she lied to me. If I made out with her, thinking she was female, I would be livid. I just wouldn't assault her, and would simply kick her out.

I see it as equally deceitful as dating a girl for months, feeling she was wifey material, going unprotected and finding out she omitted to tell me she was HIV positive.

Certain things you just can't withhold.

32 minutes ago, Yakuda said:

I can't fathom why you wouldnt start out with that information. 

For me this is more about the lying by omission.

Tons of men would date a trans woman.

We were in Thailand. 

Believe me. Some Thai ladyboys are far more gorgeous than biological women. I saw tons of drunk men taking some to hotels.

I remember winking at one while running errands in a 7-11. She smiles back. I'm not trying to mask it. Am checking her out. I look and don't touch. She replies to the men she was there with in the deepest possible voice.

He is completely drunk, and likely doesn't know of the surprise he will wake up to. 

I just can't get past a deep voice or man hands.

[Yakuda]

8 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

Am sure she has. She's attractive, and post op. But it still doesn't make her a biological woman, which is something she was seeming to struggle to accept.

Let's keep it real. She has a hollowed out cavity. A woman has a vagina. She clearly was distraught at this not calming some of the men down.

I prefer vagina, as will most heterosexual men. They self lubricate, look way better and don't require constant dilation in trying to be the real thing. Oh, and minor detail, but they also belong to biological women. 

She also loves black men.

As a black man, if I was clubbing and she approached me, I would likely not know she was biologically male. 

Am from the hood. To trick someone ignorant, will not end well.

I grew up around ignorance. Gay = AIDS, and so on. It wasn't until a mutual friend came out as gay, and my favorite teacher did too, did I start realizing I was lied to about these people.

Same goes for trans people. I know plenty, and have yet to meet one that is as obnoxious as those who are the loudest on pushing forth nonsense ideology.

They own the f*** out of being trans or gay. All the power to them.

Finding out girl was a dude, could get you shot in that environment.

They won't give two f***s that she identifies as a woman, nor will understand gender ideology, if ignorant. 

Personally I would be deeply disappointed she lied to me. If I made out with her, thinking she was female, I would be livid. I just wouldn't assault her, and would simply kick her out.

I see it as equally deceitful as dating a girl for months, feeling she was wifey material, going unprotected and finding out she omitted to tell me she was HIV positive.

Certain things you just can't withhold.

For me this is more about the lying by omission.

Tons of men would date a trans woman.

We were in Thailand. 

Believe me. Some Thai ladyboys are far more gorgeous than biological women. I saw tons of drunk men taking some to hotels.

I remember winking at one while running errands in a 7-11. She smiles back. I'm not trying to mask it. Am checking her out. I look and don't touch. She replies to the men she was there with in the deepest possible voice.

He is completely drunk, and likely doesn't know of the surprise he will wake up to. 

I just can't get past a deep voice or man hands.

The guy sounds like a nut. 

[Perspektiv]

4 minutes ago, Yakuda said:

The guy sounds like a nut. 

Probably low key wanted her.

I had two drinks downtown Bangkok, and was walking alone in the evening when I had this deep voiced ladyboy grab my hand talking about "hey handsome, want to take me home tonight?"

It sobered me right up. O_o

You may be into something.

[Yakuda]

4 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

Probably low key wanted her.

I had two drinks downtown Bangkok, and was walking alone in the evening when I had this deep voiced ladyboy grab my hand talking about "hey handsome, want to take me home tonight?"

It sobered me right up. O_o

You may be into something.

Drinking in Bangkok sounds like a bad idea for lots of reasons. 

[Perspektiv]

4 minutes ago, Yakuda said:

Drinking in Bangkok sounds like a bad idea for lots of reasons. 

I know someone who woke up with syphillis after just that. Bragged about banging the hottest tranny. 

You could have been with a Victoria Secret model. You wake up with syphillis, and probably should keep keep it to yourself.

I had a couple drinks so was still lucid, but yeah-not recommended. 

[CdnFox]

We always had a saying growing up  - 'VANCOUVER!!  Where the men are men!  And so are some of the women so ask before you take them home".