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Should One Being Trans be Disclosed While Dating?


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I just think that lying about something so major, is insanely dangerous. 

I think the woke crowd telling kids they can be all they want to be, are the same lies we were told as kids. They are bound to feel the devastating realities from being told this. 

Some people won't see a trans woman without bottom surgery as a woman. To add to this, some won't even see you as women with bottom surgery.

Not everyone will be woke and feel that just because you surgically altered your body, that you're the same. This would make you gay or bi in most places in the world, and truth is no amount of shaming and gaslighting will change that.

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5 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

I just think that lying about something so major, is insanely dangerous. 

I think the woke crowd telling kids they can be all they want to be, are the same lies we were told as kids. They are bound to feel the devastating realities from being told this. 

Some people won't see a trans woman without bottom surgery as a woman. To add to this, some won't even see you as women with bottom surgery.

Not everyone will be woke and feel that just because you surgically altered your body, that you're the same. This would make you gay or bi in most places in the world, and truth is no amount of shaming and gaslighting will change that.

Agreed. I think it would be akin to going out on a date knowing it was a date and not mentioning you were married.  It's obviously a huge thing and you're not letting the person make an informed choice about dating you withholding it

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4 hours ago, CdnFox said:

I think it would be akin to going out on a date knowing it was a date and not mentioning you were married. 

I've dated women who were married, and merely felt disappointed about the lie. I also didn't want to continue, as don't want to be with someone who is taken. I have no issue getting a single woman's phone numbers, so not about to start trying to go for lonely and desperate women. I don't fancy clingy women, and the desperate and lonely ones are among the worst.

I think its like being with someone, and them telling you they are HIV positive, after you've had intercourse. This is the level of disappointment I'd feel after say, making out with someone who fooled me. I don't even think disappointment would cut it. I'd be angry.

Mind you, I just don't think that it exits (a trans woman who could fool me).

I saw tons of trans women who looked like this or better, while in Asia, but their voice or their demeanor would always give them away. I.E I noticed that in Asia, a lot of them would exaggerate their femininity (from my experience). I saw hips switching too much, and too much bounce in the walk, and it felt like they were trying to convince you they were women.

But if you feel you could tell one apart just looking--I'd say you'd wind up highly disappointed.

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39 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

 

I think its like being with someone, and them telling you they are HIV positive, after you've had intercourse. This is the level of disappointment I'd feel after say, making out with someone who fooled me. I don't even think disappointment would cut it. I'd be angry.

 

Well the sentiment is the same in any case. Critical information that would obviously be important to anyone considering the possibility of a relationship that isn't disclosed as the relationship begins to develop. It's a breach of trust early in the relationship and honestly at that point you could never really trust the people again. Anyone who ignores that kind of flag deserves the disappointment that is inevitable as a result.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 2/25/2024 at 10:54 PM, CdnFox said:

It's a breach of trust early in the relationship and honestly at that point you could never really trust the people again.

Thats essentially what it boils down to for me.

Activists are trying to push this notion that women and trans women are identical. They aren't, and this shouldn't even be controversial. 

As a result, its in your best interest to be upfront about it.

I remember trying online dating after friends pushing me to.

I went on this date with a woman who advertised as being skinny. All her pictures were angled. 

I was new to this, so when I met her, she was chubby and I immediately could tell why she angled her pictures the way she did. It hid any hint of extra weight that she was carrying. I see this as someone highly passable, tucking their penis, and going under the radar in a bikini. 

My mentality, was she was beautiful, regardless so why lie? 

I lost interest, because if she was willing to lie about something that trivial, odds are this wouldn't be someone that I could trust.

She just reeked of narssissism, and the hunch was correct. 

She tried to then lure me back with guilt calling me shallow, but to me everyone is shallow.

I hated when women would tell me I was shallow for seeking attractive women, only:

"Would you date a homeless man who smelled like urine asking you for change to buy a coffee for your date?"

"What if he was a sweetheart and opened doors for you?"

Some are less or more shallow than others. 

Trans is so far up on my list of deal-breakers, because I like biological women.

The above is a disgusting statement to some, but no matter how much you change the meaning of woman, it won't change society's perception of what one actually is.

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3 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

Thats essentially what it boils down to for me.

Activists are trying to push this notion that women and trans women are identical. They aren't, and this shouldn't even be controversial. 

As a result, its in your best interest to be upfront about it.

I remember trying online dating after friends pushing me to.

I went on this date with a woman who advertised as being skinny. All her pictures were angled. 

I was new to this, so when I met her, she was chubby and I immediately could tell why she angled her pictures the way she did. It hid any hint of extra weight that she was carrying. I see this as someone highly passable, tucking their penis, and going under the radar in a bikini. 

My mentality, was she was beautiful, regardless so why lie? 

I lost interest, because if she was willing to lie about something that trivial, odds are this wouldn't be someone that I could trust.

She just reeked of narssissism, and the hunch was correct. 

She tried to then lure me back with guilt calling me shallow, but to me everyone is shallow.

I hated when women would tell me I was shallow for seeking attractive women, only:

"Would you date a homeless man who smelled like urine asking you for change to buy a coffee for your date?"

"What if he was a sweetheart and opened doors for you?"

Some are less or more shallow than others. 

Trans is so far up on my list of deal-breakers, because I like biological women.

The above is a disgusting statement to some, but no matter how much you change the meaning of woman, it won't change society's perception of what one actually is.

I agree with your post, mostly.  If you want to see the double standard, I give you this: talk to shorter men who date online.  We hear about how shallow men are, how they prefer thin or other superficial features.  But never about short men.

How about you?  Do you have difficulties finding a woman who accepts your asexuality?  How far in do you disclose?

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12 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

Do you have difficulties finding a woman who accepts your asexuality? 

Nope. Married one. Dated plenty. 

12 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

How far in do you disclose?

This is something that should be known the moment you're officially dating exclusively. I make sure to disclose it as early as possible.

Knowing you were born male, should be known before the first kiss.

Asexuality only matters if you're unable to compromise with your partner. Its never been an issue with me.

Having a penis vs a vagina, isn't a compromise am willing to work with, nor will any heterosexual male.

12 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

We hear about how shallow men are, how they prefer thin or other superficial features.  

If the man has money, that's the great equalizer. 

Man with money, can honestly be 4'11" and still get a supermodel to want to sleep with them.

Same effect of going to a country like the Philippines. You will see 80 year olds, with supermodel beautiful 20 year olds walking next to them.

They have pension money. That's the equivalent of me having a 2 million dollar car in the west.

If he's broke seeking this, then reality will hit them hard.

Everyone is shallow. Some more than others.

Anyone telling me it's what is on the inside that matters, would likely cry foul at having to pay the same price for a new car, with two flat tires.

They would want a discount.

I see the same with a trans woman.

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