Microaggressions

July 17, 2015

I guess if you were born in Winnipeg and got asked several times a day in Winnipeg where you're from it would be annoying, since people were only asking because of your skin colour or accent. It's a constant reminder that you don't belong there. That you're different and will never be accepted as being from there. But then, it's pretty simple to understand for anyone who's not going out of their way to not understand it.

It isn't a constant reminder that you don't belong there. It's a constant reminder that either people are interested in a conversation, or maybe they're shy and don't know what to say. I've never felt like I don't belong, and I quite enjoy talking about Yorkshire.

I think anyone who thinks someone doesn't belong wouldn't bother getting into a conversation with them.

Hal 9000 · July 18, 2015

I guess if you were born in Winnipeg and got asked several times a day in Winnipeg where you're from it would be annoying, since people were only asking because of your skin colour or accent. It's a constant reminder that you don't belong there. That you're different and will never be accepted as being from there. But then, it's pretty simple to understand for anyone who's not going out of their way to not understand it.

Do you honestly get offended when people ask where you're from?

Smallc · July 18, 2015

As a white skinned person, I have never ever ever been asked where I am from.

Then you don't get out much.

Smallc · July 18, 2015

I guess if you were born in Winnipeg and got asked several times a day in Winnipeg where you're from it would be annoying, since people were only asking because of your skin colour or accent.

You can read minds again, I see.

Smallc · July 18, 2015

Here's another things. Aboriginal people make up an abnormally high rate of the population (for a Canadian city). The thing about it is, most of them weren't born there. They were born other places in Manitoba. So what? I'll ask if I want. If they get offended, it's obviously not my problem.

Bonam · July 18, 2015

Then you don't get out much.

No kidding. I've been asked where I'm from thousands of times, and have asked "white" people where they're from thousands of times too. People come from all over, most people in Vancouver are not from Vancouver and most people in Seattle are not from Seattle. Whether it's a different state/province or a different country, most people usually like to talk about where they came from briefly. And in the rare case that someone is from the place where they are currently living, it can be cool to meet a local as well.

Freddy · July 18, 2015

And neither should anyone else. Often, people get offended because they're looking to.

It's so much fun being part of a linch mob, and publicly shaming anyone for anything we can all agree is not politically fair.

cybercoma · July 18, 2015

It isn't a constant reminder that you don't belong there. It's a constant reminder that either people are interested in a conversation, or maybe they're shy and don't know what to say. I've never felt like I don't belong, and I quite enjoy talking about Yorkshire.

I think anyone who thinks someone doesn't belong wouldn't bother getting into a conversation with them.

I never said the person thinks they don't belong, but you don't ask someone where they're from without assuming they're not from the local place. Someone who's Asian living in Winnipeg is going to get the question "where are you from?" way more than some white person. And it very much is a constant reminder that you look like you're not from there and not accepted as from there, otherwise the question "Where are you from?" wouldn't come up because 1) it wouldn't matter or 2) you would recognize that they could very well be from local place. You would never walk up to a white person with no discernible accent and just blurt out, "So...where are you from?"

cybercoma · July 18, 2015

Do you honestly get offended when people ask where you're from?

Do you honestly have the inability to understand what has been explained thus far?

cybercoma · July 18, 2015

You can read minds again, I see.

You're incredibly naive if you think some white person with no discernible accent is going to be asked even remotely as often where they're from than someone with a different skin colour or accent. Then, as a close friend tells me, when you tell them you're from some Canadian city, then push and say "well, I mean your ancestors." Why do you need to know where a person is from? What their race is or anything, if not to attach prejudiced judgments to that person. "Ohhh....you're Oriental! How exotic!" It's obnoxious and yeah.....inadvertently racist.

cybercoma · July 18, 2015

If they get offended, it's obviously not my problem.

And if people think you're a utter jackass for intentionally offending people, that's not your problem either. Like many people keep saying. Go ahead and offend people, but stop crying like a big baby when people think you're an asshole because of it.

Hal 9000 · July 18, 2015

Do you honestly have the inability to understand what has been explained thus far?

Seriously, are you offended when people ask where you're from? It's a simple question!

cybercoma · July 19, 2015

Seriously, are you offended when people ask where you're from? It's a simple question!

The fact that you ask me that, means you've completely missed the point. Go back and try to understand what's being said. It's not my responsibility to understand things for you.

Hal 9000 · July 19, 2015

The fact that you ask me that, means you've completely missed the point. Go back and try to understand what's being said. It's not my responsibility to understand things for you.

You've avoided a direct question twice so, I'll take that as a no! Thank you.

kimmy · July 19, 2015

Seriously, are you offended when people ask where you're from? It's a simple question!

Personally I'm not, because when people ask me where I'm from I know they mean what part of Canada. And nobody's actually "from" Kim City, the place had 1/4 of today's population 20 years ago, just about everybody here came from somewhere else.

However, for my friend who answers that question with "Vancouver" and sometimes has people respond with "ok, but I mean like where are you really from?" and aren't satisfied until they hear that her parents came here from Hong Kong, there's a different connotation to the question.

And maybe instead of judging whether it's rational to feel that way in response to that question, maybe you could just consider that additional information and file it away for next time you attempt to start a conversation with someone of Asian descent.

Nobody is saying you can't continue to ask "where are you from". This is just a piece of information that you could use or not use. That's the whole point of the brochure we've been discussing: provide people with information that might help them understand communication from the other person's perspective and have more positive interaction.

Most of us already have a library of this kind of information that we've either been taught or learned through experience. Bad icebreakers include asking how much he gets paid, and asking "when's the baby due?" unless you're sure she's actually pregnant and not just fat.

From the way you guys are responding to this concept, I am picturing that maybe at some point you've asked someone when the baby was due, and she glared and told you that she's not pregnant, and you concluded that she was being irrational for being angry since her prominent gut makes it a reasonable assumption that she might be with child. And perhaps you wandered off and were relieved that you found out early on that she was so irrational so that you didn't have to spend any more time talking with her.

-k

Smallc · July 20, 2015

And if people think you're a utter jackass for intentionally offending people, that's not your problem either. Like many people keep saying. Go ahead and offend people, but stop crying like a big baby when people think you're an asshole because of it.

Asking someone where they're from (Brampton, for example) is hardly an intentional offense.

cybercoma · July 20, 2015

Asking someone where they're from (Brampton, for example) is hardly an intentional offense.

Who said anything about intentional offence? Are you still having trouble understanding what microaggressions are? What's intentionally offensive is when you've been told how something can be offensive and you insist on continuing to do it. That then is intentionally being offensive. Edited July 20, 2015 by cybercoma

Smallc · July 20, 2015

Who said anything about intentional offence? Are you still having trouble understanding what microaggressions are? What's intentionally offensive is when you've been told how something can be offensive and you insist on continuing to do it. That then is intentionally being offensive.

If I don't intend to offend someone, then the offense exists 100% in their mind. That's the thing. Me having a genuine interest in someone's home (where they're from) isn't a problem, and I'm not going to not ask because it may offend you or others who are looking for racist demons around every corner.

Smallc · July 20, 2015

Now to be clear, asking where are you really from is a problem. Of course the question of where your family originated could be asked of any of us. It's all about phrasing.

Edited July 20, 2015 by Smallc

Charles Anthony · July 21, 2015

Folks,

I took down some posts.

To be even more clear, if you find anything to be offensive, you are instructed to report it, ignore it and to refrain from responding in kind.

BubberMiley · July 21, 2015

This topic reminds me of the white woman wearing a faux First Nations headdress at the Winnipeg Folk Festival a couple of weeks ago. She surely didn't mean to offend anyone by wearing it but doing so is considered akin to wearing military medals or displaying university degrees without earning them. She could have said these people are too sensitive and I'm going to continue wearing my headdress, but I have a feeling she has the good sense, now that she knows better, not to do it anymore.

Smallc · July 22, 2015

I bet people asked her where she was from too. She probably asked others the same question.

-1=e^ipi · July 31, 2015

The nonsense spreads. Now to the University of New Hampshire and their 'Bias Free Language Guide'.

Although in this case it looks like the university administration is distancing themselves from this and from what I can tell the guide has been temporarily taken down from the university's website.

http://www.unh.edu/inclusive/bias-free-language-guide

Screen-Shot-2015-07-30-at-7.47.00-AM.png

Above is a screen shot. Clearly it talks about micro-aggressions. Anyway, apparently many words are considered 'problematic'. This includes, referring to your nationality as 'American', calling people 'Foreigners', calling people 'Seniors', calling people 'Poor' or 'Rich', calling people 'overweight', etc. Calling people 'Black' is okay, but 'White' is 'problematic'.

http://www.vdare.com/posts/university-of-new-hampshire-language-commissars-say-its-better-if-you-dont-refer-to-your-nationality-as-american

http://www.mediaite.com/online/universitys-bias-free-language-guide-is-a-cornucopia-of-inoffensiveness/

http://dailycaller.com/2015/07/28/public-universitys-bias-free-language-guide-calls-the-word-american-problematic/

http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=6697

Edited July 31, 2015 by -1=e^ipi