If you could choose your...

[WestCoastRunner]

Gay marriages haven't been around long enough for long term studies to compare longevity of relationships in comparison to heterosexual relationships so it can't be said that heterosexual marriages are more stable.

However, I came across a research study that was posted in psychology today indicating these findings:

• gays were more likely to have long term relationships. 59% had been in a stable, loving relationship for three or more years. They reported high levels of joy in their lives. 19% admitted to cheating on a loved one, which is much lower than the national average. Over 50% worked at the same company for five years or longer, and the majority enjoyed their jobs.
• 47% of heterosexuals had been in a stable, loving relationship when surveyed. Even less reported having been in a long term love relationship. In fact, only 42% said that they had been involved in a committed relationship for longer than three years. Of those who had married, over 50% had been divorced. Almost half admitted to cheating on a spouse or loved one. Only 26% remained at a job for five years or more. Many reported dissatisfaction with their work.

And when discussing parenting:

• Gay parents "tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents," said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University in Massachusetts who researches gay and lesbian parenting. Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals, Goldberg said. "That translates to greater commitment on average and more involvement."
• These kids may have the advantage of open-mindedness, tolerance and role models for equitable relationships, according to some research.

I don't understand an earlier comment made about gay parents lying to their kids and having to adopt as being a disadvantage. What a bizarre comment.

[Smallc]

How does that change anything related to societal stigma, bigotry, or the difficulty in finding partners? You're needlessly grabbing at straws.

[Argus]

gays were more likely to have long term relationships. 59% had been in a stable, loving relationship for three or more years

Hmm, and what kind of a relationship was this exactly? Aren't gay men fairly famously promiscuous?

n ongoing study of gay male couples by researchers from UCSF is producing documentation of the ways in which gay couples structure their relationships. Roughly half of the 566 couples studied had open relationships.

http://hunterofjustice.com/2010/07/study-of-gay-relationships-finds-pattern-longterm-stable-and-open.html

I don't understand an earlier comment made about gay parents lying to their kids and having to adopt as being a disadvantage. What a bizarre comment

I didn't say anything about lying to kids, but clearly if you're going to have them you either have to adopt or lie to your partner about your preferences.

Edited March 10, 2015 by Argus

[Mighty AC]

How does that change anything related to societal stigma, bigotry, or the difficulty in finding partners? You're needlessly grabbing at straws.

Race, gender and sexual orientation currently cause varying problems for non-white, straight males in Canada. Fortunately, bigots get called out, old people die out and things improve.

Edited March 10, 2015 by Mighty AC

[LemonPureLeaf]

Race, gender and sexual orientation currently cause varying problems for non-white, straight males in Canada. Fortunately, bigots get called out, old people die out and things improve.

What problems exactly?

[Bryan]

The argument that no one would choose to be gay is ridiculous. People in all walks of life routinely make choices that go against their own self-interest.

[Mighty AC]

Minorities face challenges in any society yet I expect that most would not choose change. I think most would like the advantages and benefits of the majority but would rather see a change in the population or a change in their location rather than changing who they are. We want to be loved, accepted and respected for who we are, not for being someone or something else.

[jacee]

Normal is the sexual orientation required to procreate, I would say. That doesn't mean that being gay isn't natural or that it's bad, it simply means that it's abnormal and non typical

Oh fercrissakes!!!

Only procreating couples are "normal"?

Non procreating couples are normal too, gay or straight.

And guess what!

Single people are normal too, gay or straight too.

I'm not sure about you, though.

[On Guard for Thee]

The argument that no one would choose to be gay is ridiculous. People in all walks of life routinely make choices that go against their own self-interest.

Some people choose to make comments that indicate their ignorance which is probably also against their own self interest.

[jacee]

Sorry ? What is gay village ? You seem to be anti-gay so why would you go there ? Have you been to pride ?

I wonder if he took pictures.

.

[Smallc]

Oh fercrissakes!!!

Only procreating couples are "normal"?

Non procreating couples are normal too, gay or straight.

And guess what!

Single people are normal too, gay or straight too.

Natural and normal are different things. Being gay is natural. It isn't normal in a sexual sense, as it serves no purpose.

[Smallc]

Some people choose to make comments that indicate their ignorance which is probably also against their own self interest.

So you would choose to be gay, if it were a choice?

[Smallc]

We want to be loved, accepted and respected for who we are, not for being someone or something else.

That sounds nice, and it's what we'd all want, but given this world, almost no one would choose to be gay if it were actually a choice.

[Smallc]

The argument that no one would choose to be gay is ridiculous. People in all walks of life routinely make choices that go against their own self-interest.

So you believe that being gay is a choice, I assume.

[On Guard for Thee]

So you would choose to be gay, if it were a choice?

Leaving your stumbling language aside for now, I never really made a choice that I know of, I just grew up liking women when it came to intimacy. I can only assume those who felt differently came upon their desires as naturally as did I. So I dont have a problem with them. It seems the righties keep coming up with reasons to hide under their beds. Take a break, youll feel better.

[Smallc]

Leaving your stumbling language aside for now, I never really made a choice that I know of, I just grew up liking women when it came to intimacy. I can only assume those who felt differently came upon their desires as naturally as did I. So I dont have a problem with them. It seems the righties keep coming up with reasons to hide under their beds. Take a break, youll feel better.

What in the world are you talking about? I support gay marriage. I support gay people being treated with complete equality. I support them being treated like normal human beings just as they are (even if their sexuality is not). I'm saying that no one (or almost no one) would choose to be gay if it were a choice given what that would mean for them.

[On Guard for Thee]

What in the world are you talking about? I support gay marriage. I support gay people being treated with complete equality. I support them being treated like normal human beings just as they are (even if their sexuality is not). I'm saying that no one (or almost no one) would choose to be gay if it were a choice given what that would mean for them.

That has to be one of the stupidest so far. You contradict your own statement so it leaves me nothing more to do.

[cybercoma]

What in the world are you talking about? I support gay marriage. I support gay people being treated with complete equality. I support them being treated like normal human beings just as they are (even if their sexuality is not). I'm saying that no one (or almost no one) would choose to be gay if it were a choice given what that would mean for them.

"I love gay people! I even have a gay friend!"

[Smallc]

That has to be one of the stupidest so far. You contradict your own statement so it leaves me nothing more to do.

If being gay was a choice, I'd be perfectly fine and supportive of anyone who chose that life. For the most part, people don't. Most of them wouldn't want to as it isn't a life that brings easy happiness. My best friend in grade school turned out to be gay. He lived a short drug fueled life that ended in his murder. Being gay wasn't his only problem, but I'm quite sure he just would have loved to live a normal life. I remember the letter he wrote me telling me he was gay...that he was scared, but that he finally realized who he was. He didn't choose to be gay, and I doubt he's alone in that reality.

[On Guard for Thee]

If being gay was a choice, I'd be perfectly fine and supportive of anyone who chose that life. For the most part, people don't. Most of them wouldn't want to as it isn't a life that brings easy happiness. My best friend in grade school turned out to be gay. He lived a short drug fueled life that ended in his murder. Being gay wasn't his only problem, but I'm quite sure he just would have loved to live a normal life. I remember the letter he wrote me telling me he was gay...that he was scared, but that he finally realized who he was. He didn't choose to be gay, and I doubt he's alone in that reality.

Iam totally a layman with regard to my opinion on this, but having said that, I think you dont have a lot more control over being gay than you have over what color skin you have. At the risk of sounding clicheic, I will add that I have a gay friend my age who is quite happy and successful and two other friends who each have one gay son. Also doing very well in university and quite well accepted. I dot thin any of them chose anymore than I chose. They are doing well because the old myths have somewhat disappeared and let in the light.

[Smallc]

That's what I've been saying all along. I don't know why you were trying to disagree.

[jacee]

Natural and normal are different things. Being gay is natural. It isn't normal in a sexual sense, as it serves no purpose.

What an odd belief, very ... evangelical and ... archaic.

Kind of like saying a car serves no purpose unless it's being driven to church.

Sex serves many healthy purposes beyond procreation.

http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/sex-and-health

[Smallc]

What an odd belief, very ... evangelical and ... archaic.

I agree, it makes absolutely no sense that nature intended for opposite sexes to have sex with each other. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but it isn't where evolution was heading (obviously)

[Bryan]

So you believe that being gay is a choice, I assume.

People absolutely do make those choices. Many even change their minds about it (in either direction).

The choice may be subconscious, but it's as much a choice as preferred foods, clothes, music, religion, literary genres, etc. People get persecuted to various degrees all over the world for these pretty mundane choices that could easily be concealed, yet they very often choose to proudly accept being victims for their choices.

[Smallc]

Gay male animals are common in nature. It's not clear its a choice and there's significant evidence that it isn't. Lesbians, not so much.