Microaggressions

cybercoma · July 12, 2015

Do you think that constant dismissals of someone's opinion, concerns or feelings on the basis of their sex, race or sexual orientation is a form of microaggression? Or the continued demonization of a group of people on the basis of their sex and race?

Do you think that there might be a teapot in space orbiting the sun? That we should all wear laurels of the finest black tea leaves in reverence?

-1=e^ipi · July 12, 2015

Do you think that there might be a teapot in space orbiting the sun?

No.

Hal 9000 · July 13, 2015

One of my favourite Seinfelds

kimmy · July 15, 2015

I would say that is general rule that would apply to all political topics and not just the ones the ones listed as a "microagression". Putting on the list was an attempt to say that stating such opinions is unacceptable even in contexts where political discussions are appropriate.

You're assuming facts not in evidence, as they say on the lawyer shows. This brochure was circulated to a general audience of university employees, not just the political science department.

You're suggesting that this advice wouldn't be necessary for a general audience because people already have the common sense to avoid such topics. But the whole point here is that these are things where people don't see the harm in saying because they don't see how they could cause offense.

I never used to see the harm in asking "where are you from?" But when I was chatting with a couple of friends about their experiences, they both cited "where are you from?" as the #1 thing that white people say that pisses them off. For me, it was a harmless inquiry. For them, it was the implication that they're foreigners. One was Canadian born, the other had been in Canada since she was 2 years old; both were annoyed at the implication that they must be "from" somewhere else. I never meant to imply that, but once I understood the implication I stopped asking that.

They are still implying that it is acceptable for people to take offense at such things. They could have framed the advice differently and more clearly stated that some people might unreasonably take offence at innocent comments and it would be better to avoid such comments. i.e. the same advice without making it sound like the person taking offense has a legitimate right to be offended.

I'm very curious about this idea that it's not acceptable to be offended at some things. Under what circumstances is there a "legitimate right" to be offended? Is there a handbook or something? Recalling my earlier comments about being talked down to by salesmen, would you say my feelings were "legitimate" or "not legitimate"?

Also curious why you feel it is important to provide people with this reassurance that if somebody was upset by something you said it's their fault for being unreasonable.

-k

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

It's intriguing (if not offensive) that our society has reached such a level of hypersensitivity that we are now witnessing people who are offended that other people are offended.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

I never used to see the harm in asking "where are you from?" But when I was chatting with a couple of friends about their experiences, they both cited "where are you from?" as the #1 thing that white people say that pisses them off. For me, it was a harmless inquiry. For them, it was the implication that they're foreigners. One was Canadian born, the other had been in Canada since she was 2 years old; both were annoyed at the implication that they must be "from" somewhere else. I never meant to imply that, but once I understood the implication I stopped asking that.

There was nothing wrong with you asking that question. Everyone of every colour asks and gets asked that anywhere they go. It's a courteous question, a very acceptable icebreaker. Anyone getting offended by it is a hypersensitive jackass.

Big Guy · July 15, 2015

I'll use the definition of "offended" as ; " resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult."

It is a subjective reaction to a subjective interpretation of an action. We all have different interpretations of any action. Everybody gets mildly offended daily, from hearing a profanity being used to someone calling us a derogatory name to ... You may get offended at someone being offended at your being offended at something you perceive an insult.

In our circles, when someone is asked for proof of age that they qualify for a senior's discount, some are offended that their word is questioned while others are complimented that they do not look their age. Go figure.

Edited July 15, 2015 by Big Guy

Bryan · July 15, 2015

You may get offended at someone being offended at your being offended at something you perceive an insult.

Which is fine the first time it happens. If it's a misunderstanding, and you've had what you misunderstood explained to you, it's no longer reasonable for you to get offended at the same question the next time someone says it.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

Anyone getting offended by it is a hypersensitive jackass.

You're just being hypersensitive.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

Do you think that constant dismissals of someone's opinion, concerns or feelings on the basis of their sex, race or sexual orientation is a form of microaggression? Or the continued demonization of a group of people on the basis of their sex and race?

This is an important point that deserves to be reinforced.

The hypocrisy is really astounding that asking someone where they are from is considered a form of aggression (micro or not), but overt dismissal of an entire gender and/or race is not. The tiniest misunderstanding on one side is a big enough deal to need policies about it, but outright and overt discrimination and aggression against the other side is perfectly acceptable.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

You're just being hypersensitive.

No, I'm being dismissive. In kimmy's example, the people said "where are you from" is the #1 thing that "pisses them off". Having someone tell me that wouldn't upset me at all, but it would let me know that I'm not talking to a reasonable person.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

Having someone tell me that wouldn't upset me at all, but it would let me know that I'm not talking to a reasonable person.

Maybe you just don't know what it's like to always be considered an outsider when you're really not. It might get annoying after a while. I think a lack of willingness to consider that could also be considered unreasonable.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

Maybe you just don't know what it's like to always be considered an outsider when you're really not. It might get annoying after a while. I think a lack of willingness to consider that could also be considered unreasonable.

Everyone is an outsider somewhere. I have friends who have moved to other countries where white is decidedly not the dominant skin colour, and they get asked where they are from all of the time. All it means is people want to talk to you.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

Everyone is an outsider somewhere. I have friends who have moved to other countries where white is decidedly not the dominant skin colour, and they get asked where they are from all of the time. All it means is people want to talk to you.

Maybe they would be annoyed if they hadn't moved to the country and were born there. Nevertheless, I don't know why it's okay for you to express your annoyance with them but they shouldn't express their annoyance.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

I don't know why it's okay for you to express your annoyance with them but they shouldn't express their annoyance.

They can express it. Then they can have it explained to them why they have completely misunderstood the sentiment. If they are annoyed that people just want to talk to them, there's not much you can do about that level of ignorance.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

If they are annoyed that people just want to talk to them, there's not much you can do about that level of ignorance.

I guess you could say the same about someone who would outright dismiss their feelings as unreasonable.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

I guess you could say the same about someone who would outright dismiss their feelings as unreasonable.

If someone misrepresents something, they have it explained to them, and they continue to misrepresent it, they are being unreasonable. In any setting.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

If someone misrepresents something, they have it explained to them, and they continue to misrepresent it, they are being unreasonable. In any setting.

I think it's unreasonable for someone to wish to continue stereotyping other people as foreigners because of their skin colour, even after being told it annoys them. Nobody's misrepresenting anything. We agree there was no malice in the stereotyping comments, but there is clearly malice when someone dismisses the claims of annoyance and continues to do it.

Bryan · July 15, 2015

I think it's unreasonable for someone to wish to continue stereotyping other people as foreigners because of their skin colour, even after being told it annoys them. Nobody's misrepresenting anything. We agree there was no malice in the stereotyping comments, but there is clearly malice when someone dismisses the claims of annoyance and continues to do it.

You're misrepresenting it right now.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

You're misrepresenting it right now.

How?

Bryan · July 15, 2015

How?

By labelling it stereotyping. And by attributing malice to the person who is not interested in subscribing to someone else's conspiracy theories.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

How is assuming someone of another colour is a foreigner not stereotyping? How is dismissing their annoyance as unreasonable and continuing to stereotype them not malicious?

Bryan · July 15, 2015

It's called breaking the ice. When first introduced to someone, you scan for ANY clue for an opening engagement. Use it to engage in small talk, and then a real conversation organically evolves from there.

BubberMiley · July 15, 2015

It's called breaking the ice. When first introduced to someone, you scan for ANY clue for an opening engagement. Use it to engage in small talk, and then a real conversation organically evolves from there.

Now you know that looking for some clue to stereotype someone can create ice rather than break it.