How should Parents discipline children

[waldo]

Nothing special about this one or the declared bias towards male behaviour by one or more members.

declared bias towards male behaviour? Do tell, do tell. Is this a part of your victimhood or harrassment play... or both?

[On Guard for Thee]

I suggest we just "hold hands" and collectively ignore old u know who. Maybe he will crawl back under his rock.

[overthere]

He was probably teased a lot at school.

[bush_cheney2004]

Spanking remains popular in Canada and the U.S. :

.....a 2005 study of mothers of preschoolers in Manitoba and Ontario, 70 per cent reported having used physical punishment and one-third did so at least once a week. Yet in a poll done in 2007 for The Globe and Mail by the Strategic Counsel, 78 per cent of Canadian parents of children under 18 believed that parents do not discipline their children enough these days – and 42 per cent of Canadians believed spanking is beneficial to a child’s development.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/spanking-your-kid-does-it-help-or-hurt/article543483/

In the "states::

[On Guard for Thee]

Perhaps spanked too much.

[waldo]

In the states:

for you to simply drop a graphic without the underlying surveys key findings is a rather lame attempt to recover from the derail... I'm keen for you to elaborate on the actual survey opinion findings that show higher spanking support from "the south", from Republicans, from Born Again Christians, from whites (versus non-whites and non-blacks (e.g. Asians, Native Americans, etc.).

.

[Moonlight Graham]

I don't believe in corporal punishment for children or animals, unless under some kind of extreme circumstance of immanent danger, but even then there are alternatives.

[Hal 9000]

That article suggests that the non-spankers are more educated, thoughtful and considerate. That right there suggests that parents who feel they are those things shouldn't spank - therefore they don't - or don't admit to it. It's complete crap.

Spanking shows a clear cause and effect - it's basic, and with the childs developing mind basic discipline is effective. Spanking does not create violent children, lack of discipline creates violent children. I've seen kids hit, kick and spit on their parents while mom stands there trying to reason with their 3 YO, it's pathetic. If a kid doesn't have to respect his/her parent, what chance does a day care worker, teacher or other child have.

Go check out the day care, Park or School and I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut the most aggressive kid in the group belongs to a "considerate" non-spanker.

[On Guard for Thee]

Violence begets violence. Plain and simple. If you have to swing a tree branch at your kid to discipline them, maybe you shouldn't have bothered with kids in the first place.

[Hal 9000]

Violence begets violence. Plain and simple. If you have to swing a tree branch at your kid to discipline them, maybe you shouldn't have bothered with kids in the first place.

That's not true at all! How come kids from non-spanking families are violent towards others?

Hitting and kicking are the most primitive (or displays) of anger. Kids do it from the time they have even the slightest control of their limbs. They hit, grab and shove to get/take what they want. It's nature.

Edited September 19, 2014 by Hal 9000

[On Guard for Thee]

You have no proof of any of that. I myself was never beaten as a child but I knew there were rules I needed to follow. Those rules were explained in a way I could understand so they made sense. i have never felt the need to beat a child or anyone else. I suspect that's why.

[Hal 9000]

You have no proof of any of that. I myself was never beaten as a child but I knew there were rules I needed to follow. Those rules were explained in a way I could understand so they made sense. i have never felt the need to beat a child or anyone else. I suspect that's why.

I've never beaten a child either, I've never hit a childs face or head, never used a switch or a belt and never spanked a child repeatedly.

The fact is; children (when they're born) are selfish little people, the understand getting what they want any way they can. They will manipulate and when that doesn't work...resort to violence. A twin will shove their sibling to the ground or crack them over the head to take what they want and not think twice about it. Kids don't learn the concept of reason or empathy until after 2YO and even then, it's a continuing process.

A child doesn't actually understand the concept of taking away privileges or the naughty chair as a form of consequence until they are out of the toddler stage. All they know is they're mad.

[bush_cheney2004]

Spanking has evolved into a strict protocol with boundaries and conditions. It is less socially acceptable than one or more generations ago, but it does have the support of some psychologists and child rearing experts:

Spanking is a much-debated topic. Most child psychologists do not recommend spanking as a discipline method for children. However, other psychologists and many parents will tell you that a spanking given with fairness, love and care is an effective discipline technique. The decision as to the usefulness of spanking is best made by a child's parents.

A surprisingly detailed approach and method is described here (WARNING > depictions of spanking for those who do not wish to see):

http://www.wikihow.com/Include-Spanking-in-Child-Discipline

[On Guard for Thee]

Sorry, that's just not my experience at all.

[On Guard for Thee]

What the hell is "a spanking given with fairness"? I'm going to beat you, but I will do it fairly. Oh and keep in mind I love you.

[Hal 9000]

Sorry, that's just not my experience at all.

Really, you've never experienced a 1-3YO get violent? WoW, good for you!

Unfortunatley for me, I have kids, many nieces and nephews, had a daycare, have a wife in the school system and now have daughters that babysit...and have seen it with nearly every child I've encountered.

[On Guard for Thee]

So it seems what you're telling me is if a kid beats on another kid, the way to fix it is to beat on them?

[Hal 9000]

You're being intentionally obtuse.

[Bryan]

It completely depends on the kid. Many do not need to ever be hit, they can be trained, they will listen to reason, etc. Some however, absolutely will not understand why they have to correct their behavior, and no amount of coercion will change that. For those kids, it's a question of finding the consequences that are just severe enough, that they don't think it's worth it anymore. For a certain subset of those people, violence is the thing that finally gets their attention enough to correct the behaviour.

[Big Guy]

I am not convinced that corporal punishment is less effective than the “new” approaches. I was brought up using that behaviour modification method and used it for my children. I turned out OK and my children are all successful professionals. To my chagrin, they do not use it on their children causing some problems when they visit. It must never be applied in anger. I can see people with larger families not having the time to try psychology on each child as they mature while constantly testing their parameters.

It will be interesting to see how the children of this new parenting process fare when they reach adulthood and middle age.

[guyser]

Spanking does not create violent children, lack of discipline creates violent children.

What a load of BS.

[On Guard for Thee]

I would have to disagree with BG on that. The only time I can ever recall being hit was by my mother. I was a kid and it was a wooden spoon across my backside while she was mixing up something in the kitchen. I don't recall what the fracus was about but I recall it was completely spontaneous and out of anger on her part, and the split second it hapenned I realized I had mouthed off to a point I made my mother do something completely out of character. That thought had much more effect on me than the split second pain, and even at that young age it made me think I never want to do that to her again, and I never did. Conversly I think if she had said you wait until I am done here and you are getting a spanking, would have been a much more negative experience for both of us.

[WestCoastRunner]

WestCoast, you give too much dignity to bush's posts by responding to them in this fashion. You should have just reported the first video and subsequently ignored him. Instead we have pages and pages of attention drawn to something that didn't even deserve a response, let alone an entire thread dedicated to it. This is what trolls get off on, watching you blow up and react the way you did. I don't care what personal definition Charles Anthony or Greg have of trolling. This thread is the definitive example of what it is, how it derails discussions, and what kind of reaction trolls try to draw out of people. The problem with the moderation here has been and will be for the foreseeable future that the administration would rather punish people for reacting to trolls, rather than the trolls for intentionally disrupting conversations and looking to draw out those reactions. Next time, just ignore the stupidity and report it for the useless clutter that it is.

It's not really your place to tell me when not to and when I should respond to someone. I did report his behaviour and I simply didn't feel it was right to ignore and not draw attention to his antics. If I want to respond to someone's post, that is my perogative.

Edited September 20, 2014 by WestCoastRunner

[WestCoastRunner]

That trailer that BC posted is also available on porn sites. Yes, I did look it up.

[WestCoastRunner]

For a certain subset of those people, violence is the thing that finally gets their attention enough to correct the behaviour.

Violence may get their attention, no doubt about that and it may correct behaviour in the short term, but long term, not so much.