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How 2 return ur empties


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The Beer Store is mostly run by young adults between the ages of 19 to 27, with the older, grumpier employees ranging between 27 to retirement. Most employees are of a strange human design... They are grumpy, and hate you. In fact just walking into the store you'll probably get some sort of terrible label on you from any of the employees, regardless of how nicely you are dressed. And if you are returning empties, you are at the very bottom of the list of terrible things you can say about someone.

So let us begin this factual guide about how you can visit the beer store, and not come off looking like an asshole, and perhaps get the grumpy employees to maybe smile, or treat you like a human- rather then a piece of shit.

Returning Empties:

Everyone at some point will have empties to return. The question is how many empties will you have? Could be 1 case, could be 10, and could be 50.

But here also lies the problem. The first thing all Beer Store employees working the empties register will look for are "ARE THE EMPTIES SORTED."

The first thing you need to ask your self when you walk into the Beer Store to return a shit pile of empties is “ARE MY EMPTIES SORTED." If the answer to this question is no, and you are returning more then 1 case, its time to get your shit together. Because if you don’t, you just increased your wait time from a possible 10 seconds, to a minute per case (in some cases longer), depending on how fed up the employee is with his place of employment.

It’s very simple to sort your empties. Like colors go together. That’s sorting for beginners. At the minimum this should be done. But to get more cheers from the angry employees, a real sorting master will return all their beer in their appropriate cases. Heineken and Moosehead are both green, but they are not the same, and are not sorted the same. Keeping all brands off beer in their appropriate case cuts your wait time down... Also makes the employee more delighted to serve you- quickly and efficiently.

The next part is volume of empties. If you are returning more then 1 cart full of empties, you should not grab 2-3 carts, take them to your car and start filling them up. When you do this, you are an asshole. Both the employees will hate you and everyone else will to... Why the hate? Because common sense dictates that A) you’re not the only customer in the world. Others need those carts. B) You’re going to try and bring all your empties in at the same time, the volume creates a huge slowdown in the line, and anyone else who wants to return just a case, or a bottle needs to wait 10 minutes because you just used all the roller space up for your own greedy little self. Employees see right through your bullshit, and your wait time has just increased 10 fold.

Being a good person goes a long way. If it’s not busy, ask the employees if you can take an extra cart out. If it is busy, take 1 cart at a time. Make sure that the empties you are returning are sorted- especially in large volume. Someone with 10 cases that are sorted is served almost instantly. A person with 10 cases that are unsorted, the wait time varies by how badly unsorted it is. If you look like an asshole, you will be treated like one. Be ready to wait. And good luck complaining no one really gives a shit that you waited 10-15 minutes for your empties money. I’m sure you’ll get a call back from someone that will do a little dick sucky sucky over the phone, but the reality is, no one is going to get punished. Just you lose 15 minutes of your life. They still get payed.

The next important thing on this list is Empties from the Liquor store and Cans and Bottles in Bags. Cans are interesting entities because for the most part, unless you seem like a lying son of a bitch, they will take your word for it... As in- "how many in this bag?" "15" "sounds good". Don’t lie. Eventually you will get caught and you will be treated like a piece of shit. Another important fact to remember when returning cans- BAGS in BAGS is stupid. Those cans need to come out. Example, you have 5 little bags with 10 cans in each little bag... Then you put those 5 little bags in 1 big garbage bag. THIS IS WRONG. Do not do this. If you do this you will wait a long time in line. You will be frowned upon and treated like an asshole. The easier you make the employees life, the better you will be treated.

Bottles in Bags... Don’t ever put your bottles on the counter in a bag, and say you’re ready to go- especially beer bottles. You are an asshole if you do this. If you are returning bottles in plastic bags open up the bag and take the bottles out and put them into a tray. No one should have to blindly put their hand into your shit. Take it out and do it right. You want to be an asshole, leave them in the bag. Then tell me about how great the service was.

Liquor store returns are great because it goes into a crusher. Except for plastic and tetra pack returns. If its not glass, it doesn't go with glass. When you sort your liquor empties keep glass with glass, plastic with plastic, etc. Don’t put cans in with your liquor bottles. Keep em separated. Things move faster if we don’t have to sort cans from glass. If we do, that means we can’t just dump the glass and save you time... We need to sort... And sorting takes time, especially if you got that special asshole quality about you.

I think we've finally got to the MOST important part of this guide.

DAYS and times to and not to return your empties:

When you return your empties on a nice Sunny Sunday, you look like a moron and an asshole all in one. Why? Sundays are notorious empty return days. The lines are almost always long, except during some weird off times. Wait times are almost quadrupled because the employees take their sweet, sweet time... And most of the assholes on Sundays don’t even care, or don’t even bother to sort their empties. So we take our time to do it right. Either in front of you, or in the back. In any case its lose, lose situation for you because you lose a gorgeous Sunday afternoon waiting in line at the beer store to return 2$ in empties...

Know the store hours... If we close at 5, don’t bring your empties at 4:58. They won’t let you in. Closed. Want to argue about it? Yell at the glass door because they don’t give a shit what you thought. Close at 9? Don’t come at 8:58 with empties. This is really simple... You’ve had all day to return your empties; closing time is not the time to do it. They'll do you a favor and sell you beer... But they won’t take your empties; you can put those bottles up your ass. Rule of thumb, if you got more then 5$ in empties, don’t even show up 15 minutes before close.

Early bird special. Every asshole lines up just before the beer store is about to open thinking they will avoid the lines or be first. First nobody don’t give a shit who gets in first. You all wait. Second, why would you want to be the first one into the beer store anyway? You look like a degenerate. The times are hard to predict and they fluctuate almost daily. Your best bet to return empties are during dinner hours- in Toronto between 630 and 8, and afternoon hours usually between 11 and 3, and not on Toronto Recycling days for the immediate area around the Beer Store- those days are just anyone’s game.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Or, you can spend $5.00 and have the beer delivered right to your door and your empties picked up. As I discovered, there are many advantages to this $5.00 expenditure.

1. You don't have to line up behind guys toting 3-4 packsacks full of wine and beer bottles they collected from garbage bins.

2. You don't have to go out in the rain or the snow.

3. You save gas.

4. You help provide employment to students.

5. You minimize the risk of back injury from lugging a 24.

6. You're not responsible for breakage for beer in transit.

7. You don't have to be confronted by belligerent losers who need their fix.

etc.

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  • 3 months later...

I'd add one more thing... if you're returning bottles such as Corona... take the moldy lime wedges out. No-one wants to deal with that.

I return my returnables to a return-it depot. THey have counters for sorting and you're in and out fairly quickly. Also, they take everything back, not just alcohol empties,

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I did not know there was etiquette for returning empties. Next time I do a beer run, I am going to be bringing back about 15-20 cases. Yes they are all sorted, but some are not. And they can look at me dirty all they want, I don't care what they think. And most beer stores I go to the people are friendly and nice. And I will do it on a Sunday, because that is the only day I can really do it.

You should force this on everyone and have it up as core rules to read when you walk into a beer store with empties. I can't still believe this post exists, it does make me laugh though.

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I did not know there was etiquette for returning empties. Next time I do a beer run, I am going to be bringing back about 15-20 cases. Yes they are all sorted, but some are not. And they can look at me dirty all they want, I don't care what they think. And most beer stores I go to the people are friendly and nice. And I will do it on a Sunday, because that is the only day I can really do it.

You should force this on everyone and have it up as core rules to read when you walk into a beer store with empties. I can't still believe this post exists, it does make me laugh though.

He has a point though...

We all have jobs where people make their lives (and the lives of employees) harder when they don't have to. Now you may say "who gives a shit what the employee thinks?" - and you'd be right, they're getting paid to do their job but it's the fact that many customers COMPLAIN about empty returns and especially the wait time that they don't realize the giant wait is the result of the customer's own laziness...

You can analogize it with using a cab, sure you can smell like you just crawled out of a sewer and sure, you can pay your $23.67 cab fare in pennies but why waste your time, their time, and have no consideration (at least, in regards to hygiene) whatsoever? The world would be a better place if everyone operated on some level of logic...

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He has a point though...

We all have jobs where people make their lives (and the lives of employees) harder when they don't have to. Now you may say "who gives a shit what the employee thinks?" - and you'd be right, they're getting paid to do their job but it's the fact that many customers COMPLAIN about empty returns and especially the wait time that they don't realize the giant wait is the result of the customer's own laziness...

You can analogize it with using a cab, sure you can smell like you just crawled out of a sewer and sure, you can pay your $23.67 cab fare in pennies but why waste your time, their time, and have no consideration (at least, in regards to hygiene) whatsoever? The world would be a better place if everyone operated on some level of logic...

OR ... on your way in you give your unsorted bottles to the guy with his hand out in front of the store. I mean, why give him money and then sort your own bottles?

Alternatively, if you don't care about the money, just leave them out on recycle night. The guys who come around at night show more initiative to work for their money than the guy with his hand out at the beer store.

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Moreover, why are people returning "empties" at all? Are there no curbside or condo recycling programs?

It's not 1965 anymore......

We get money back from empties. If you wait for a good amount to build up it makes it more worth it to bring a good load to the store. One time we filled up my pals truck twice. It was enough to buy a keg. That was a great party.

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Because glass is glass ? Is this about precious nickels and dimes?

Well you know there is a cultural difference. Yanks tend to drink their cold ones from tins. In Canada cans are for travelling to the cottage and such. Cans can only be consumed once before being crunched, crushed and converted into something else, sometimes a tin.

Beer bottles have a much longer life expectancy, which is why just about all domestic bottles are the same shape and colour. We also prefer a brown bottle to a clear one, which is why they have to spend so much on ads letting us know that it's okay to have a clear bottle..

So since forever we have been galddly returnning our empties and recently a deposit was levied in Ontario on wine bottles....which are not reused....go figure.

Growing up as a kid (which is how most of us do it) I remember that even the case itself had a deposit. It was sturdy, reinforced at the corners with metal and had a coated waxed covering. We used them on our bike racks as baskets, and the cooler kids used them as briefcases for school./..the only dillema was whether you were a Cinquante, Molson or Laurentide kind of guy...

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...Growing up as a kid (which is how most of us do it) I remember that even the case itself had a deposit. It was sturdy, reinforced at the corners with metal and had a coated waxed covering. We used them on our bike racks as baskets, and the cooler kids used them as briefcases for school./..the only dillema was whether you were a Cinquante, Molson or Laurentide kind of guy...

Right...this was the "Yank" experience as well until widespread recycling took hold in the 1980s, regardless of container technology. Recycling has advanced to the point of mixed materials and zero sorting for waste stream collection and processing. I can't imagine collecting and hauling skanky beer bottles, let alone transporting them back to a retail store for a few nickels. Can kids redeem beer bottles?

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Can kids redeem beer bottles?

We did as kids. Me and my buddy would comb the neighbourhood going to every constuction site picking up coke and beer bottles on our wagons. We would then take them to the corner depannuer and return them for 2 cents each....sometimes we would have a couple of bucks between us to spend foolishly on coke and candy.

In canada, empty beer bottles seldom go skanky ---pour, drink and rinse...

A side effect to the garbage strike in toronto is there is at the moment no curbside recycling. In my neighbourhood, bringing back bottles for the deposit is beneath most households (not mine, every dime is a prisoner) so they are left in the blue bin. As a result, swarms of homeless men trundle by with their shopping carts and pick through the recycling looking for wine, spirits and beer bottles...you go to the LCBO in the AM and they are there with their loot. The ambitious ones can make $20 a trip.....and as a result of the strike they are drinking less.

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In canada, empty beer bottles seldom go skanky ---pour, drink and rinse...

Except for the cigarrette butts and snuff spittle.

A side effect to the garbage strike in toronto is there is at the moment no curbside recycling. In my neighbourhood, bringing back bottles for the deposit is beneath most households (not mine, every dime is a prisoner) so they are left in the blue bin.

Bottle deposits sometimes had a negative outcome in my 'hood....we would smash them in defiance, like the Boston Tea Party.

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I can't imagine collecting and hauling skanky beer bottles, let alone transporting them back to a retail store for a few nickels.

It all depends on your situation I suppose. Being in the construction industry and single I had the guys over at my place quite a bit of the time, four or five construction guys can go through a lot of beer, no one ever takes their empties home so you end up with quite a collection.

My last major return paid for my plane ticket to Ontario from Alberta and also left enough over to buy my extreme N router and desktop card. So it isn't always about a few dimes. For me it was worth an hour and a half or so of effort to walk out with over five hundred dollars in cash.

Actually I like it, even in less extreme circumstances, return your empties and leave with a two four, not a bad deal really.

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....My last major return paid for my plane ticket to Ontario from Alberta and also left enough over to buy my extreme N router and desktop card. So it isn't always about a few dimes. For me it was worth an hour and a half or so of effort to walk out with over five hundred dollars in cash.

What is the deposit per bottle? $500.00 would mean 5,000 bottles at a dime each.

Actually I like it, even in less extreme circumstances, return your empties and leave with a two four, not a bad deal really.

I guess....but you could have purchased the same amount with the deposit money....

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What is the deposit per bottle? $500.00 would mean 5,000 bottles at a dime each.

10 to 20 cents depending on size. We go once every couple of weeks...48 beers and a dozen wine bottles is normal

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