Scotty Posted December 25, 2014 Report Posted December 25, 2014 I will call it Submission. The main tenet of my religion is that women must submit to men. Men will be able to have as many wives as they wish, and to divorce them very simply by saying "I divorce you". To help keep the women in line, though, they will not be able to divorce their husbands unless I say so. Oh, and their husbands will be able to beat them, but not around the face, because we don't want their looks to be damaged. Women will not be able to own anything, and their word will only be worth 1/4 that of a man. They will be required to dress appropriately, in a fitting religious way, such as this. I haven't decided if I will require collars around their necks or not as is properly befitting submissives. What do you think? Quote It is an inverted moral calculus that tries to persuade the world to demonize one state that tries its civilized best to abide in a difficult time and place, and rides merrily by the examples and practices of dozens of states and leaderships that drop into brutality every day without a twinge of regret or a whisper of condemnation. - Rex Murphy
Bonam Posted December 25, 2014 Report Posted December 25, 2014 (edited) The tenets seem pretty good, now you just need a solid backstory, and a couple loyal followers willing to kill anyone who doesn't submit. Edited December 25, 2014 by Bonam Quote
overthere Posted December 26, 2014 Report Posted December 26, 2014 The very first thing and by far the most important is to have an article or act of faith that you can sell. Once a disciple accepts that, all the rest follows. "In the beginning, God created the Heavens and earth...." Quote Science too hard for you? Try religion!
Scotty Posted December 26, 2014 Author Report Posted December 26, 2014 The tenets seem pretty good, now you just need a solid backstory, and a couple loyal followers willing to kill anyone who doesn't submit. There is but one God, and his name is McPherson! He created the universe with a big bang, and anyone who insults him will leave it the same way. Quote It is an inverted moral calculus that tries to persuade the world to demonize one state that tries its civilized best to abide in a difficult time and place, and rides merrily by the examples and practices of dozens of states and leaderships that drop into brutality every day without a twinge of regret or a whisper of condemnation. - Rex Murphy
Guest Posted December 26, 2014 Report Posted December 26, 2014 I think his name is MacPherson! You must die! Quote
jacee Posted December 27, 2014 Report Posted December 27, 2014 (edited) BANG!! Edited December 27, 2014 by jacee Quote
kimmy Posted January 4, 2015 Report Posted January 4, 2015 Don't forget the tax benefits of becoming a church. Perhaps you can get your man-cave a tax exemption as a religious place of worship! =k Quote (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Friendly forum facilitator! ┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)
Argus Posted January 8, 2015 Report Posted January 8, 2015 (edited) You'll never find women to embrace a crackpot religion where a woman's word is worth only one quarter that of a man! Though I admit the dress code seems both sensible and fashionable. Edited January 8, 2015 by Argus Quote "A liberal is someone who claims to be open to all points of view — and then is surprised and offended to find there are other points of view.” William F Buckley
AngusThermopyle Posted January 8, 2015 Report Posted January 8, 2015 I think I'll just stick with the Spaghetti Monster myself. Beer volcano's, stripper factories and of course Pirates! They also have a graph that proves everything, how can you beat that! Quote I yam what I yam - Popeye
Mighty AC Posted January 9, 2015 Report Posted January 9, 2015 You'll never find women to embrace a crackpot religion where a woman's word is worth only one quarter that of a man! Hahaha...nice! Quote "Our lives begin to end the day we stay silent about the things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire
Mighty AC Posted January 9, 2015 Report Posted January 9, 2015 I think I'll just stick with the Spaghetti Monster myself. Beer volcano's, stripper factories and of course Pirates! They also have a graph that proves everything, how can you beat that! Pastafarians do seem happier than most. Quote "Our lives begin to end the day we stay silent about the things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire
overthere Posted January 9, 2015 Report Posted January 9, 2015 Pastafarians do seem happier than most. I prefer my religion bland, mild and inoffensive so I'll start an Alfredo cult within Pastafarianism. It will be like the United Church within Protestanism,. Or maybe Unitarian. Quote Science too hard for you? Try religion!
Guest Posted January 9, 2015 Report Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) The problem there is the Bolognesians. Sure, they aren't much of a threat now, but some are becoming radicalized. They take the promise of garlic toast in paradise seriously. Edited January 9, 2015 by bcsapper Quote
overthere Posted January 9, 2015 Report Posted January 9, 2015 The problem there is the Bolognesians. Sure, they aren't much of a threat now, but some are becoming radicalized. They take the promise of garlic toast in paradise seriously. Is it time to KILL THEM ALL?. I feel threatened by them right now, them and their filthy oily meat sauce. Burka burka burka!!! Quote Science too hard for you? Try religion!
Mighty AC Posted January 9, 2015 Report Posted January 9, 2015 The problem there is the Bolognesians. Sure, they aren't much of a threat now, but some are becoming radicalized. They take the promise of garlic toast in paradise seriously. Heathens! Everyone knows paradise is full of garlic bread sticks not toast! This reminds me of the hilarious Sky Cake bit by Patton Oswalt. Quote "Our lives begin to end the day we stay silent about the things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire
-TSS- Posted February 8, 2015 Report Posted February 8, 2015 I will support any religion which gives as much holidays as possible. Quote
jacee Posted February 9, 2015 Report Posted February 9, 2015 I will support any religion which gives as much holidays as possible. I hereby decree only every Wednesday a work day, only women can be the boss, and McPherson cleans toilets. Thank you. Donations in the thousands are accepted for such edicts. . Quote
freekundli Posted August 31, 2016 Report Posted August 31, 2016 I will support any religion which gives as much holidays as possible. How many do you want? Quote
?Impact Posted August 31, 2016 Report Posted August 31, 2016 You'll never find women to embrace a crackpot religion where a woman's word is worth only one quarter that of a man! Why not, when a man can't get a word in edgewise in any conversion who cares that those odd words are worth more? The woman is still way out ahead. Quote
The_Squid Posted August 31, 2016 Report Posted August 31, 2016 How many do you want? 4 per month... also, 3 week-long religious festivals per year in addition. I would convert. Quote
Guest Posted August 31, 2016 Report Posted August 31, 2016 4 per month... also, 3 week-long religious festivals per year in addition. I would convert. Like the tired, poor, huddled masses that trade allegiance to Jesus for some food or education from missionaries, I would pay lip service to a religion for those kind of benefits. Quote
bush_cheney2004 Posted September 1, 2016 Report Posted September 1, 2016 Like the tired, poor, huddled masses that trade allegiance to Jesus for some food or education from missionaries, I would pay lip service to a religion for those kind of benefits. This is something that Liberals in Ontario have known for decades. Quote Economics trumps Virtue.
freekundli Posted September 1, 2016 Report Posted September 1, 2016 (edited) 4 per month... also, 3 week-long religious festivals per year in addition. I would convert. But i wanna 6-9 per month. Edited September 1, 2016 by freekundli Quote
freekundli Posted September 16, 2016 Report Posted September 16, 2016 I've decided to start a new religion. Have you chosen name of your religion? Quote
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