Ask a Black Man Anything

[Guest]

I have often been the token black kid, growing up.

People as a result, would often open up to me, what they feared opening up to other black people.

Asked me questions, and at seeing me being happy to answer,  grew in comfort.

I remember in the UK, when a child walking with his mom, asked me why my skin was like that, with grave concern on his face. He clearly had never seen anyone like me.

I smiled, and hunkered down, and before I could answer, his mother scolded him, and apologized to me, wasting what I felt was an opportunity, as she grabbed his hand and speedily walked away.

If you could ask a black man anything, knowing they won't get offended, what would you ask them? What are you curious about?

For the record, am Caribbean blooded, if it matters.

[CouchPotato]

Caribbean eh? Can you run really fast? 🤪

[Guest]

2 hours ago, CouchPotato said:

Caribbean eh? Can you run really fast? 🤪

Actually, yes. I have competed in track and field competitively for a good portion of my youth.

Those genes run in my family as all kids in it, are known for their speed.

I think it has to do with naturally having larger, more powerful glutes and quadriceps. 

I don't think it comes naturally, though (the speed). But if you train for it, my body is predisposed for explosive speed and power, which is why I excelled in hockey or sports that made that shine.

Sucked at endurance, which is why I never pursued combat sports, competitively. I ran out of gas, quick.

Fittingly, I don't know how to swim.

[August1991]

On 7/19/2024 at 7:52 PM, Perspektiv said:

...

If you could ask a black man anything, knowing they won't get offended, what would you ask them? What are you curious about?

---

Black skin? Man? You seem self-centered. American.

======

Have you considered what it's like to be an older Asian woman?

And, what is the context? Where are you?

A black man in Lagos is not like a black man in, uh, Philadelphia.

 

[CouchPotato]

On 7/28/2024 at 2:04 PM, August1991 said:

Black skin? Man? You seem self-centered. American.

======

Have you considered what it's like to be an older Asian woman?

And, what is the context? Where are you?

A black man in Lagos is not like a black man in, uh, Philadelphia.

 

I think he is just making a light-hearted post. On that note, I am going fire another question.

What kind of music do you like? Do you play any instruments?

That's two questions. I can't math.

Edited July 29, 2024 by CouchPotato

[Michael Hardner]

Far More curious about your... LGBTQ+ aspects...

[herbie]

Here's a question for any black person:

When was America "Greater" ?

[User]

12 minutes ago, herbie said:

Here's a question for any black person:

When was America "Greater" ?

As a person who identifies as a one legged, midget, part African American / Native America, transgender, veteran, senior citizen... it was certainly greater in many aspects minus the Pandemic when Trump was President. 

[Guest]

On 7/28/2024 at 1:04 PM, August1991 said:

Have you considered what it's like to be an older Asian woman?

Can't say I have.

On 7/28/2024 at 1:04 PM, August1991 said:

A black man in Lagos is not like a black man in, uh, Philadelphia.

That is correct. I'm Canadian, but my roots are drawn from Haiti.

[Guest]

10 hours ago, CouchPotato said:

What kind of music do you like? Do you play any instruments?

I don't like "typical" music. I was teased for my love of punk rock, death metal, metal, rock, country, etc. I like hip hop, but shunned stuff I couldn't relate to. I like everything. I think its a shame to limit musical influences. Jazz, opera, I truly don't care much for anything other than whether I feel the music or not, vs what I hear.

I don't play any instruments, but used to produce music back in the days. I loved turntables, and knew a couple producers, so was exposed to this early. I was told I was very good by many, but it just wasn't my passion. My wife plays guitar and sings, but I do love singing.

9 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

Far More curious about your... LGBTQ+ aspects...

As a black male, asexuality is likely the equivalent of someone from India being allergic to spicy foods. It literally contradicts your culture. Well, at least regarding western culture.

[Michael Hardner]

2 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

 

As a black male, asexuality is likely the equivalent of someone from India being allergic to spicy foods. It literally contradicts your culture. Well, at least regarding western culture.

Right. So you're open about this? Seems a lot more rare than not liking spicy foods but okay. Do you encounter a lot of doubts about your situation?

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, Michael Hardner said:

So you're open about this?

I have told very few people, as don't really think its relevant unless it relates to a subject matter where I feel sharing it would make sense.

No shame whatsoever in it, however.

Its just not something that warrants a megaphone.

Be you, be proud.

1 hour ago, Michael Hardner said:

Seems a lot more rare than not liking spicy foods but okay.

People who don't conform to sexual or gender norms is now more common than ever.

1 hour ago, Michael Hardner said:

Do you encounter a lot of doubts about your situation?

Never have in real life. Usually just curiosity.

The more I tell people about my sexual experiences, the more they believe am definitely asexual.

I think these kind of things should be open conversations, personally.

It's become a highly divided debate.

[Michael Hardner]

31 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

I have told very few people, as don't really think its relevant unless it relates to a subject matter where I feel sharing it would make sense.

No shame whatsoever in it, however.

Its just not something that warrants a megaphone.

Be you, be proud.

People who don't conform to sexual or gender norms is now more common than ever.

Never have in real life. Usually just curiosity.

The more I tell people about my sexual experiences, the more they believe am definitely asexual.

I think these kind of things should be open conversations, personally.

It's become a highly divided debate.

Interesting.  I take your experience here as informative in the overall debate.  It resonates, as to why you apply your personal experience to other LGBTQ+ experiences out there and inoculates you from accusations of bigotry obviously.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Michael Hardner said:

Interesting.  I take your experience here as informative in the overall debate.  It resonates, as to why you apply your personal experience to other LGBTQ+ experiences out there and inoculates you from accusations of bigotry obviously.

Am far from being the only one within the community, feeling disillusioned with the direction of its movement. 

My views are way too extreme for it, now. 

Same reason I stopped being religious.

I can't get behind anything telling me how to think, speak or behave.

It used to be a fight for rights. You don't have the right to impose your self identity onto others.

[Guest]

Ironically, the black community in general, isn't known to be kind to the gay and trans community.

Many in that community who get assaulted, are within it (saying it matter of fact, not in approval).

Where I grew up, wearing pants too tight, or walking with too much of a switch as a male, would likely get you beaten to a pulp, or harassed.

So, you could imagine me being seen as gay due to my asexuality, and how it affected my life. 

I mercifully did combat sports since a child, so knew how to defend myself, so people left me alone.

Getting beaten up by the "gay kid", in the 'hood--might as well sell off your man card or what's left of it, on Amazon.

[CouchPotato]

5 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

I don't like "typical" music. I was teased for my love of punk rock, death metal, metal, rock, country, etc. I like hip hop, but shunned stuff I couldn't relate to. I like everything. I think its a shame to limit musical influences. Jazz, opera, I truly don't care much for anything other than whether I feel the music or not, vs what I hear.

My tastes get narrower as I get older. My ears like music that is less aggressive now. Also my tastes get less complex. When I listen to classical music now, I prefer simplicity over complexity.

I play guitar, banjo and some mandolin.

Edited July 30, 2024 by CouchPotato

[CouchPotato]

53 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

I mercifully did combat sports since a child, so knew how to defend myself, so people left me alone.

I was a really weird kid. I still am very weird I guess. I don't know if I'd ever hold my own in a fight. I think I learned really well how to disarm people with words, though.  I was an anxious kid, but at the same time I wasn't shy. In a room full of people feeling awkward, I am often the one who breaks the ice.

Oh, and I was also pretty sneaky and weasel-y. Not in an underhanded way. But I could weasel out of things, and when ever I sensed trouble I was good at slinking away unnoticed.

Edited July 30, 2024 by CouchPotato

[herbie]

14 hours ago, User said:

As a person who identifies as a one legged, midget, part African American / Native America, transgender, veteran, senior citizen... it was certainly greater in many aspects minus the Pandemic when Trump was President. 

As not being an American the OP declined to reply. But being a pinheaded lackey supporter of pervert criminals for President, you must,

[User]

8 minutes ago, herbie said:

As not being an American the OP declined to reply. But being a pinheaded lackey supporter of pervert criminals for President, you must,

No, I did not say I identified as a pinheaded lackey. 

 

[herbie]

Can't identify yourself in the mirror when you shave either....

[Guest]

21 hours ago, CouchPotato said:

My tastes get narrower as I get older.

I think the only reason I have expanded mine, was because I have no choice.

When you travel a lot, failure to fully adapt, will make your life insanely difficult. 

Right down to learning Cantonese, Tagalog and Cebuano.

21 hours ago, CouchPotato said:

I still am very weird I guess.

I used to get teased as a kid for it. As an adult, those nerdy traits made me attractive to women, somehow.

Being weird and black, puts more social pressure on you.

IE am very good at skateboarding, rollerblading, skiing and ice hockey. This made me white as a black kid. I was relentlessly teased for shunning basketball.

In hindsight, am glad I stuck to my guns, but many of my peers fell through social cracks by following some of these people.

[August1991]

On 7/31/2024 at 9:25 AM, Perspektiv said:

....

Being weird and black, puts more social pressure on you.

---

Strongly disagree.

Are you a real person?

[August1991]

On 7/19/2024 at 7:52 AM, Perspektiv said:

I have often been the token black kid, growing up.

 

Waiting for an answer.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, August1991 said:

Waiting for an answer.

?

[Michael Hardner]

On 7/30/2024 at 9:40 AM, Perspektiv said:

 

The more I tell people about my sexual experiences, the more they believe am definitely asexual.

 

Well, spill the beans then.  What were your experiences as a developing youth ?  When did you "know" ?  How did it shape your view of our hyper-sexualized culture ?  How did you get a "wife" - if that is what she is - with your, uh, configuration ?

And finally: you have chosen to keep your situation quiet.  What if you couldn't do that ?  Would it put you off when people said that your admission of sexuality was putting it in others' faces ?