The Death of Self-Esteem

[Live From China]

In last Saturday's (Mar. 3) National Post there was an article entitled A Generation of 'Special' Kids Comes of Age. (Sorry, tried to find it on line but couldn't, so I can't post a link).

Essentially, it indicated that psychologists, educators, etc. are being asked to review the concept of self-esteem. "After nearly three decades of 'Me Museums' and 'All About Me' time for pre-schoolers, trophies for every child who simply shows up for a soccer game and childhoods punctuated by endless refrains of 'You are special,' experts are beginning to rethink the emphasis on self-esteem." The article went on to indicate that we are now faced with an entire generation of self-absorbed young people, people who think they are better than anyone else. A generation who feels they should be given jobs and promotions without hard work.

I remember a sickeningly politically correct article that indicated every child who simply paints a picture deserves to have it in a higher end art display. Why? Because it's valid! Whatever the hell that means.

I, for one, am tired of seeing people being given accolades for merely existing. Now, don't get me wrong; I don't think we should go out of our way to denigrate people for its own sake, but I don't think anyone should be constantly praised either.

[August1991]

The article went on to indicate that we are now faced with an entire generation of self-absorbed young people, people who think they are better than anyone else. A generation who feels they should be given jobs and promotions without hard work.

I didn't read the article but this is new?

Has there ever been a time when an older generation has not looked on a younger generation as "self-absorbed" and "selfish"?

Come to think of it, that's a common refrain when describing other people: self-centred and greedy.

I don't know about you but I consider myself generous to a fault and always considerate of others.

[Live From China]

I didn't read the article but this is new?

I wish the article had been on the National Post website. To a certain extent this is new. The article went on to explain that human resources people, many with considerable experience, are encountering more self-absorbed people with a far greater sense of entitlement than in the past. Yes, those individuals have always existed, but according to this article, not in the masses present today. I don't how this movement started so many years ago, but competition has become a word feared among many younger people and educators today.

[Frankie]

Sounds like Communism.

[jbg]

The self-esteem movement started out as a good thing. It has, as the lead post points out, gone to serious excess.

[August1991]

The article went on to explain that human resources people, many with considerable experience, are encountering more self-absorbed people with a far greater sense of entitlement than in the past.

So, if I understand properly, employers are now facing potential employees who are acting in their own self-interest.

As I say, this is new?

Sometimes I think that young people believe they were the first generation to discover the awfulness of existence and sometimes I think that old people believe that they were the last generation fit for existence.

In any case, I have never found personnel people to be particularly trustworthy. It's in the nature of the job. If they were the source of the journalist's information, you can broadly discount the whole exercise.

[Figleaf]

The article went on to explain that human resources people, many with considerable experience, are encountering more self-absorbed people with a far greater sense of entitlement than in the past.

So, if I understand properly, employers are now facing potential employees who are acting in their own self-interest.

As I say, this is new?

Sort of. People are less in awe of authority and with improved self-esteem are less likely to internalize the standards/interests of their arbitrary 'betters'.

[Mad_Michael]

In last Saturday's (Mar. 3) National Post there was an article entitled A Generation of 'Special' Kids Comes of Age. (Sorry, tried to find it on line but couldn't, so I can't post a link).

I don't consider the National Post to be credible on culture issues at all. They never let inconvenient facts get in the way of the ideological point they are trumpeting. Every word of every editorial must be signed off by the Publisher (Izzy Asper).

Fox News North seems to be their modus operendi.

If you read it in the National Post, I'd recommend searching hard for some other corroboration. It wouldn't be the first time no one found any...

[Charles Anthony]

I do not trust the editorial from the National Post either but Izzy Asper died a few years ago.

[leonardcohen]

The self-esteem movement started out as a good thing. It has, as the lead post points out, gone to serious excess.

This self-esteem movement may have had good intentions as far as making children feel special,

but to me the logical extension of that philosophy is that we are all equal or better then our peers,

and are entitled to certain privileges.

We're not.

A dunce repeatedly being told that he is as smart as a scholar does a disservice

to both the scholar and the dunce.

In the dunces' case the sooner he realizes he is not as smart as he thinks he is

the sooner he can try and find something else to do.

In the scholars' case,he is free to learn without being held back out of fear of

damaging the dunces self-esteem.

The realization that you are not as smart as you thought you were

can be equal parts freeing and disturbing.Trust me on That!

I realize the potential irony in that statement but there are other qualities

that should be instilled such as persistence,compassion,

a willingness to take responsibilty for your actions, among others.

[AndrewL]

In last Saturday's (Mar. 3) National Post there was an article entitled A Generation of 'Special' Kids Comes of Age. (Sorry, tried to find it on line but couldn't, so I can't post a link).

Essentially, it indicated that psychologists, educators, etc. are being asked to review the concept of self-esteem. "After nearly three decades of 'Me Museums' and 'All About Me' time for pre-schoolers, trophies for every child who simply shows up for a soccer game and childhoods punctuated by endless refrains of 'You are special,' experts are beginning to rethink the emphasis on self-esteem." The article went on to indicate that we are now faced with an entire generation of self-absorbed young people, people who think they are better than anyone else. A generation who feels they should be given jobs and promotions without hard work.

I remember a sickeningly politically correct article that indicated every child who simply paints a picture deserves to have it in a higher end art display. Why? Because it's valid! Whatever the hell that means.

I, for one, am tired of seeing people being given accolades for merely existing. Now, don't get me wrong; I don't think we should go out of our way to denigrate people for its own sake, but I don't think anyone should be constantly praised either.

You suck and you will never amount to anything. How's that?

Andrew

[White Doors]

You suck and you will never amount to anything. How's that?

Andrew

Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you as I have been reading over your pompous, intellectually vacuous posts.

ahh.. it feels better for me.

You?

[Frankie]

I can speak for my own generation. And I can say, they're all messed up, and it's getting worse.

[BubberMiley]

I can speak for my own generation. And I can say, they're all messed up, and it's getting worse.

Me too. And there was never a more selfish generation than my own--so much so we were even dubbed the ME generation. We invented extreme consumerism and felt entitled to our education and the many jobs that were waiting for us on graduation. Once we started paying taxes, we cut back on education and social programs. And we only dealt with the CPP deficit after we had been paying into it for years and years and were nearing retirement ourselves. We still haven't dealt with the healthcare deficit, so you can be assured when the last of us are dead in 30 years or so, there will be nothing left.

Guess how old I am.

[jbg]

Fox News North seems to be their modus operendi.

If you read it in the National Post, I'd recommend searching hard for some other corroboration. It wouldn't be the first time no one found any...

Does everything in Canada start and end with America hatred?

[moderateamericain]

Fox News North seems to be their modus operendi.

If you read it in the National Post, I'd recommend searching hard for some other corroboration. It wouldn't be the first time no one found any...

Does everything in Canada start and end with America hatred?

Yeah i never bought into this whole Feel good stuff, maybe it was my upbringing. but to quote the famous Steve Stiffler from American pie series. "Im special, your special, were all a bunch of special fuckers!"

I just happen to watch this the other day, and this post made me think of it

[BubberMiley]

Does everything in Canada start and end with America hatred?

What are you talking about? If you think calling the National Post "FoxNews North" is America-hating, then you need to get out of your country and see real America-hating. Are you so insecure that you don't even recognize that, perhaps, he was saying that the NP and FN are ideologically similar? That he was saying nothing about America in general? It's true that the U.S. is not well-liked in the world at large, but Canadians are close enough to recognize that not everyone in the U.S. is a christian fascist or NRA wingnut. I bet there are more real anti-Americans within your borders than ours.

[geoffrey]

Interesting concerns. Personally, I'd give a trophy these days to any kid that gets off their fat ass, over 30% of boys aged 16 have high blood pressure related to lack of exercise and diet says Global News this evening.

These kids are all going to be dead before they ever get the chance to be self-absorbed.

Their self-esteem will already be trashed by looking in the mirror and seeing some grossly overweight image starring back. Do parents think they are doing their kids a self-esteem favour by not pointing this out? Of course the kids realise it?

Ugh. People are looking in the wrong direction for problems. Until kids are back to being reasonably in shape, self-esteem is the least of our concerns. I honestly believe this generation (the one I just missed by a few years) will likely die before their parents.

If people want to give a trophy for a kid showing up and giving 100% effort at soccer, go for it. It'll make the kid feel accomplished, because he has accomplished alot by showing up. We all can't win all the time, but it's nice to see kids making an effort, very rare these days.

As someone highly involved in athletics from a very young age, I can tell you at age 10 or 12, we shouldn't be emphasizing winners and losers, but effort and skill development. Eventually there comes a time for competition, I'd say around age 14 you can start kicking it up a knotch.

Organized sport is where kids need to be. It's been proven to reduce violence, drug use and increase physical fitness. We should be as encouraging as possible to every kid that shows up. There's a time for competition, but at young ages, we don't want to discourage.

[EchoesofMourning]

The problem here is not just self esteem, it's bigger than that. Everyone worries about their kids, that's normal, but somewhere in the last number of years, this worry has mad a change. Everyone is so concerned for their children that they are being smothered and ruined.

For example, I was walking by a playground one evening, when one of the children nearby got it into his head that he had some sort of problem. He shouted for me to "fuck off". I can't speak for anyone else, but if I had of done that to someone bigger than me as a child, I would have gotten the everliving crap kicked out of me. Sounds nasty, but after a couple of incidents like that I learned my lesson and stopped doing that.

Now however, that sort of behaviour is abuse, bullying, or whatever else society can come up with.

'nuff said.

[jbg]

The problem here is not just self esteem, it's bigger than that. Everyone worries about their kids, that's normal, but somewhere in the last number of years, this worry has mad a change. Everyone is so concerned for their children that they are being smothered and ruined.

For example, I was walking by a playground one evening, when one of the children nearby got it into his head that he had some sort of problem. He shouted for me to "fuck off". I can't speak for anyone else, but if I had of done that to someone bigger than me as a child, I would have gotten the everliving crap kicked out of me. Sounds nasty, but after a couple of incidents like that I learned my lesson and stopped doing that.

Now however, that sort of behaviour is abuse, bullying, or whatever else society can come up with.

'nuff said.

Also, there's little unsupervised play among children. I grew up about 40 Trudeau Units from New York City, and live about 8 Trudeau Units further out now. When I was in Grade 4, in the Spring of 1967, I took my first 5 km bike ride to a pickup baseball game. That would be unimaginable now, even for my Grade 5 son, who is certainly stronger, better coordinated, more athletic and probably smarter that I was.

[WestViking]

Interesting concerns. Personally, I'd give a trophy these days to any kid that gets off their fat ass, over 30% of boys aged 16 have high blood pressure related to lack of exercise and diet says Global News this evening.

These kids are all going to be dead before they ever get the chance to be self-absorbed.

Their self-esteem will already be trashed by looking in the mirror and seeing some grossly overweight image starring back. Do parents think they are doing their kids a self-esteem favour by not pointing this out? Of course the kids realise it?

Ugh. People are looking in the wrong direction for problems. Until kids are back to being reasonably in shape, self-esteem is the least of our concerns. I honestly believe this generation (the one I just missed by a few years) will likely die before their parents.

If people want to give a trophy for a kid showing up and giving 100% effort at soccer, go for it. It'll make the kid feel accomplished, because he has accomplished alot by showing up. We all can't win all the time, but it's nice to see kids making an effort, very rare these days.

As someone highly involved in athletics from a very young age, I can tell you at age 10 or 12, we shouldn't be emphasizing winners and losers, but effort and skill development. Eventually there comes a time for competition, I'd say around age 14 you can start kicking it up a knotch.

Organized sport is where kids need to be. It's been proven to reduce violence, drug use and increase physical fitness. We should be as encouraging as possible to every kid that shows up. There's a time for competition, but at young ages, we don't want to discourage.

Why reward kids for simply showing up? Somewhere they are going to have to learn to accept that society does not reward people for breathing. One problem I see is that there seems to be no effort to teach children that many endeavours are for self-satisfaction, for meeting personal goals and to improve personal bests. We don't spend our lives on stage, performing for an audience, nor can we expect accolades for every effort we make.

[jbg]

Why reward kids for simply showing up? Somewhere they are going to have to learn to accept that society does not reward people for breathing. One problem I see is that there seems to be no effort to teach children that many endeavours are for self-satisfaction, for meeting personal goals and to improve personal bests. We don't spend our lives on stage, performing for an audience, not can we expect accolades for every effort we make.

I generally agree. But for sports in particular Geoffrey makes a good point. There is an extent to which participation needs to be encouraged, even at the expense of victory. That changes at a certain age, obviously. Perhaps 14, as Geoffrey suggests.

[WestViking]

Why reward kids for simply showing up? Somewhere they are going to have to learn to accept that society does not reward people for breathing. One problem I see is that there seems to be no effort to teach children that many endeavours are for self-satisfaction, for meeting personal goals and to improve personal bests. We don't spend our lives on stage, performing for an audience, not can we expect accolades for every effort we make.

I generally agree. But for sports in particular Geoffrey makes a good point. There is an extent to which participation needs to be encouraged, even at the expense of victory. That changes at a certain age, obviously. Perhaps 14, as Geoffrey suggests.

Participating in team sports is a reward in itself. Health benefits are a plus. The kid who grows up expecting a reward for getting off the couch is unlikely to learn enough discipline to make it to work on time or avoid taking 'sick' days because getting up and ready was a chore that morning.

[jbg]

Participating in team sports is a reward in itself. Health benefits are a plus. The kid who grows up expecting a reward for getting off the couch is unlikely to learn enough discipline to make it to work on time or avoid taking 'sick' days because getting up and ready was a chore that morning.

Point well taken.

[Frankie]

I can speak for my own generation. And I can say, they're all messed up, and it's getting worse.

Me too. And there was never a more selfish generation than my own--so much so we were even dubbed the ME generation. We invented extreme consumerism and felt entitled to our education and the many jobs that were waiting for us on graduation. Once we started paying taxes, we cut back on education and social programs. And we only dealt with the CPP deficit after we had been paying into it for years and years and were nearing retirement ourselves. We still haven't dealt with the healthcare deficit, so you can be assured when the last of us are dead in 30 years or so, there will be nothing left.

Guess how old I am.

Hahaha, you sound like about my parents age. And I never really thought as your generation being as selfish as us, but you make a good point. I still think it's getting worse, because even people my parents age would work hard for their money, I mean I couldn't even imagine a person my age working hard labour like construction for less than $20. They'd give all those jobs to the mexicans or the cheap labour, while we'll be begging for food after we get laid off from our law firm, and don't know what a band saw is.

...but Canadians are close enough to recognize that not everyone in the U.S. is a christian fascist or NRA wingnut. I bet there are more real anti-Americans within your borders than ours.

Just wanted to point out you mention that "not everyone" in America is a christain fascist. And it's true, there are a lot more anti-americans in america and in Canada, and the "christain fascist" population I think is becoming VERY small than most people think. And people still think that these people make all the rules, while in reality our nations are turning into Godless dictatorship communist nations.

Why reward kids for simply showing up? Somewhere they are going to have to learn to accept that society does not reward people for breathing.

Wasn't the competitive nature of our people the driving force that flung the United States and Canada into world Super Powers? What happens when we lose the drive? Our Manufacturing Industry has a hard enough time competing with China, how will it be once the Millenium generation takes over?