Americans insult Canadians

[killjoy]

August1

My mistake. sry.

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[killjoy]

Your time is valuable. So is mine. This I do for relaxation. I am not on the clock, and neither are you.

Run from YOU, hehehe.

As far as being loved, maybe by your wife.

Still can't face up to it. Still can't admit it. Still perpetuating your stereotype.

You're a troll. Youre an idiot. You said at least a dozen things that were plainly incorrect and plain ignoratn yet you can't simply admit it. Bringing my wife into it won't save you boy.

"Thank God the Canadians were there," is how one American soldier put it"

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[jdobbin]

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

By John Cleese

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. (Except Utah, which she does not fancy.)

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect :

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be

trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added

to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen

Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,

lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you

shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

[August1991]

killjoy, America1, Ft. Niagara,

Can we agree that we are both on the same side? Can we also agree that it's not clear how to defend our side?

Canadians died in a war to defeat the Nazis over two years before Americans got involved. Where were the Americans when Western civilization faced its greatest threat?

Americans died in a war to defeat the Soviets in Vietnam. Where were Canadians?

[jdobbin]

Americans died in a war to defeat the Soviets in Vietnam. Where were Canadians?

Canada was an approved observer nation along with India and Poland during Vietnam.

"The 1954 Geneva Conference which temporarily divided Vietnam into North and South, also established the International Control Commission (comprised of representatives from India, Poland and Canada) to oversee the process towards elections for reunification by 1956. The outcome of the elections was not in dispute. U.S. President Eisenhower wrote in his memoirs that "had elections been held...80% of the population would have voted for Ho Chi Minh" and the country would have rejoined along terms set by the north. However, elections were not permitted by the U.S.-supported Diem government in the south despite the provisions of the Geneva Accords. Victor Levant in his detailed 1986 study (Quiet Complicity, Canadian Involvement in the Vietnam War) underlines the fact that "the most fundamental violation of the Accords was the failure to hold the 1956 elections."

http://www.perc.ca/PEN/1992-11/collins2.html

Canada was not neutral.

"It was primarily the Canadian delegation that formulated the 1962 Special Report to the Co-Chairman of the Geneva Conference on Indo-China that was used to justify U.S. allegations of "internal aggression" by north Vietnam. Canada supported the spurious claim that Vietnam was divided into two sovereign states. This position was never sanctioned by the Geneva Accords, but as a technical claim, it enabled the U.S. to deny that the conflict was of a civil nature to be settled by Vietnamese and not by an American "police action". Canada's third ICC commissioner in Vietnam, Bruce Williams, concluded from his instructions that Canada's main concern was not the "fulfillment of the Geneva Agreements per se, but the maintenance of peace in Southeast Asia as a method of thwarting Communist ascendancy in the area.""

"In Canada, Diefenbaker's Conservative Party supported the U.S. policy in Vietnam. His external affairs secretary stating in 1962 that "any action the U.S. has taken has been in a measure of defence against communist action."

In 1965, Paul Martin spoke for the Pearson (Liberal) government, stating that "the American forces were in their right in answering those attacks against them and South Vietnam as provided by section 51 of the United Nations Charter" (a section restricted to members of the UN, a status not held by "South" Vietnam.)

The Canadian ICC contingent twice offered legitimation for U.S. troop intervention and air war over North Vietnam; it furnished the U.S. with strategic intelligence about the location of enemy troop movements; and it acted as messengers by relaying threats issued from the American military. One Canadian retired military officer once stated that he was "bloody ashamed of some of the things I was required to do.""

"In 1972, however, the Trudeau government changed immigration legislation to make it illegal to apply for landed immigrant staus from within Canada or at the border. This new policy was "tantamount to the closing of Canada as a haven for most military war resisters and deserters.""

Canada was not invited to fight in Vietnam. Canada was needed by the United States to justify the war in the U.N.

[killjoy]

Americans died in a war to defeat the Soviets in Vietnam. Where were Canadians?

Vietnam may have been America's war but Canada was heavily involved — for and against. Canada harboured American draft dodgers and helped supervise ceasefires. But at the same time, about 30,000 Canadians volunteered to fight in southeast Asia. And there was Canada's involvement in secret missions, weapons testing and arms production. CBC Archives looks at Canada's role in the Vietnam War.

They dodge. We volunteer.

Appearently since we don't masterbate in self-indulgent self-tribute with a half dozen new WWII movies every year and deny everyone else that makes us pacifist.

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[ft.niagara]

You're a troll. Youre an idiot. You said at least a dozen things that were plainly incorrect and plain ignoratn yet you can't simply admit it. Bringing my wife into it won't save you boy.

You love the word idiot. It demeans you. It shows that you have lost it. Sorry

As far as troll. What is a troll. You set up a forum Canada/US Relations, subtopic Americans insult Canadians, with no substance to the heading, and say I am trolling. The other topic Canadians insult Americans had an instance of a little league hockey game where American children were insulted, together with their American parents.

You say I got some facts wrong. So what, or did you mistake sarcasm for factual mistakes.

As stated by another, there was a free seat on the bus, and Canada is along for the ride.

What I dislike about Canada is the fact that it uses, sometimes inadvertently, its position to make designer laws or positions to benefit it, at the same time undermine the US. One example is prohabition. Canada set up laws to allow the EXPORT only of liquor during prohabition. Obviously, great benefit to Canada. It is kind of like Iran or Syria sending explosives to Iraq.

Another is the legalized gambling on the border cities, targeting Americans, well before legalized gambling in the US. Canada forced the gambling issue into the US. But no gambling in Toronto. No advertising in Toronto.

And on and on. Even this FREE TRADE is not FREE TRADE Canadian style.

As far as your wife, I am sure she loves you. But with a name like KillJoy she might be the only one who does, except in your mind.

As far as movies, start your own movie industry, instead of stealing the work with subsidized shoots.

[killjoy]

What I dislike about Canada is the fact that it uses, sometimes inadvertently, its position to make designer laws or positions to benefit it, at the same time undermine the US. One example is prohabition. Canada set up laws to allow the EXPORT only of liquor during prohabition. Obviously, great benefit to Canada. It is kind of like Iran or Syria sending explosives to Iraq.

Another is the legalized gambling on the border cities, targeting Americans, well before legalized gambling in the US. Canada forced the gambling issue into the US. But no gambling in Toronto. No advertising in Toronto.

Oh just STFU already, idiot. Last night it was all about us being pacafist and a bunch of other crap and I soundly beat you on every point.

Now you still can't admit how much you were full of crap. Now you squirm around to find something else stupid and irrelevant. Now it's some blow-hard crap about selling booze equalling selling explosives, or legalized gambling accross the border. So what? That's what everyone flies to Atlantic city for remember? Now it's a bunch of crap about my handle. And a bunch of crap about free trade which you most likely know nothing about either. Now's it's about 'stealing' your movie work.

You're an idiot. You have nothing. Continue with your idiocy.

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[ft.niagara]

Oh just STFU already, idiot. Last night it was all about us being pacafist and a bunch of other crap and I soundly beat you on every point.

Now you still can't admit how much you were full of crap.

You one hell of a debater. I hereby admit that I was full of it, and you are a wonderful debater. I feel honored to have been beaten by you. Silly me to sully your wonderful forum.

[killjoy]

I think that calls for another review:

-You said you were unaware that Canadian troops were overseas then try and claim you knew they were in Afghanistan.

-You thought we only had small arms.

-You call us pacifists despite the self-evident fact that we aren't, (Afghanistan – which you didn’t know about, WWI, WWII [10% of our population – more than any other ally], Korea, Yugoslavia, Somalia, Afghanistan and on and on). That's called evidence boy, and it'll always trump simply repeating BS over and over again.

[Liam]

Does anyone else see the irony here? All of you, on both sides of the border and in each direction, have lived up to the title of this thread.

[America1]

You are under the protection of the US and you should be thankfull about it.

Crap.

The US defends North America for its own reasons, not out of generosity. If it really cared about Canada's interests it wouldn't dispute our arctic territorial sovereignty.

I never said it was out of generosity. I never said we care about your interests either. We would be doing it for our interest. We want our neighbors to be stable. It's purely in our best interest to have a lightly armed friend north and south of us.

[killjoy]

Well then claiming we should be thankful for your defending us is just a load of crap, just as the poster indicated isn't it?

Make up your mind: Either you're defending us despite your best interest so we should thank you or you're simply acting in your own self interest in which case we have nothing to thank you for....unless you figure you owe us thanks for selling you uranium or allowing your airbases here.

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[killjoy]

Does anyone else see the irony here? All of you, on both sides of the border and in each direction, have lived up to the title of this thread.

No. BS = BS = BS. No two craps about it. That's all ft.niagra has come here with.

Nothing I've countered with is BS, it's all easily verifiable and provable rebuttal. The use of the term idiot in this case is not even rhetorical or bombastic – it is the simplest definition. He's been dead wrong about 20 topics/claims in a row now and only an idiot wouldn't stop to re-evaluate after that, and only a troll would continue with more BS.

If countering BS with fact amounts to an insult then why have a forum at all?

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[ft.niagara]

No. BS = BS = BS. No two craps about it. That's all ft.niagra has come here with.

You are with out a doubt one of the crudest posters I have enountered. I do not believe this forum is monitored at all. You are crude, rude, and dense. As in like a brick. Your brilliance is in your mind. And your wife, I am not even going there.

[margrace]

Does this really matter, there are people in Southern US who know absolutly nothing about Canada and there are Canadias who know nothing about them except what we see on the TV.

[killjoy]

You are with out a doubt one of the crudest posters I have enountered. I do not believe this forum is monitored at all. You are crude, rude, and dense. As in like a brick. Your brilliance is in your mind. And your wife, I am not even going there.

Nope.

The simple fact is you've embarrassed yourself and it all could've been prevented had you simply been adult or man enough to admit it when you're wrong, and if you weren’t here simply to troll and insult. If you had been there would’ve been a much different reaction from me, but a friendly reaction wasn’t what you were interested in. You came here to start a fight, got the preverbal crap kicked out of you and now you cry victim. You have a lot of growing up to do.

It's funny how you bring my wife into it then try and pretend you're 'too big' to bring my wife into it.

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[jbg]

It always astounds me how the US can continually belittle it's allies and at the same time wonder why they're running out of them.

I'm generally pro-Canadian but here's an honest answer. The US's military umbrella, as a practical matter (with some help from the UK) protects NATO and most of the free world. Canada's protection is especially secure.

One of the unremedied problems with this is that Canada has no incentive to invest the money to maintain its own military strength, since any attackers jealous of Canada's resources know that all roads to Canada lead through the US, literally and/or figuratively. Just as the US was unwilling to let the UK go down the hatch during either of the World Wars, we certainly wouldn't let Canada be compromised, since that would obliterate a lot of our security.

Safe with that assurance, Trudeau gutted your military. Any wonder many Americans (those who stop to think about the matter) are less than appreciative?

[gc1765]

Safe with that assurance, Trudeau gutted your military. Any wonder many Americans (those who stop to think about the matter) are less than appreciative?

Less than appreciative? Who is helping out who in Afghanistan?

[jdobbin]

One of the unremedied problems with this is that Canada has no incentive to invest the money to maintain its own military strength, since any attackers jealous of Canada's resources know that all roads to Canada lead through the US, literally and/or figuratively. Just as the US was unwilling to let the UK go down the hatch during either of the World Wars, we certainly wouldn't let Canada be compromised, since that would obliterate a lot of our security.

Perhaps Canada should become a nuclear power as a deterrent.

[gerryhatrick]

No. BS = BS = BS. No two craps about it. That's all ft.niagra has come here with.

You are with out a doubt one of the crudest posters I have enountered. I do not believe this forum is monitored at all. You are crude, rude, and dense. As in like a brick. Your brilliance is in your mind. And your wife, I am not even going there.

Second that. I ignore him, which is the best option.

[jbg]

Safe with that assurance, Trudeau gutted your military. Any wonder many Americans (those who stop to think about the matter) are less than appreciative?

Less than appreciative? Who is helping out who in Afghanistan?

The civilized world should consider Afghanistan and Iraq one enterprise. Maybe, as a practical matter the US supplies the coordination (and transportation for Canadian troops) but in no sense should it be considered solely a "US" operation.

[jdobbin]

The civilized world should consider Afghanistan and Iraq one enterprise. Maybe, as a practical matter the US supplies the coordination (and transportation for Canadian troops) but in no sense should it be considered solely a "US" operation.

Why should Iraq be considered a world endeavour? The U.S. wanted to shape the future of Iraq by itself.

[killjoy]

Second that. I ignore him, which is the best option.

Yes especially when you can't stand up to him or back up your arguments.

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[ft.niagara]

Second that. I ignore him, which is the best option.

Yes especially when you can't stand up to him or back up your arguments.

KillJoy has a mania. He has to get the last word. Watch everyone, he will post behind me.