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Actually I don't know any males that would be willingly open to express their experience if they had any.

But everyone seems to be a little too focused on the anus for the moment.


I had a hetero guy at the workplace ask me and some other hetero guys if they ever had anal sex. And he wasn't asking for homosexual reasons I can assure you.

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The most truthful thing ever said about sex is that the most important sexual organ is the one between your ears. Sex is arousing and exciting and pleasurable IF YOU THINK IT IS.

If you THINK getting thrown up against a wall, having your clothes ripped off, and experiencing rough sex is hot - then it is. If you THINK having sex in public, or in various difficult, dangerous or degrading positions is hot, then it is. If you don't, then the exact same physical actions will leave you utterly cold. What is bondage but psychological? It certainly adds nothing physically to the sex act which would account for the attraction in so many people to tying each other up.

Almost all sexual dysfunction and perversion comes from the brain, often as not from some occurrence in puberty or pre-puberty. How can someone find feet or goats, or children sexually arousing? They're not inherently, but something in the brain gets rewired early on to make them so.

Men and women have vastly different takes on sex. How much of that is due to upbringing as opposed to genetics is hard to gauge. Men can have pleasurable sex with almost anyone they find sexually attractive. They don't have to love them, or even like them. Hell, they don't even have to know their name. Women tend to be a lot more emotional about sex, and want to feel some emotional linkage with their partner. Men are very visual. You can see this just from porn videos, which generally have no storyline, no character development, and just up close graphic sex between anonymous people. Who consumes sex? Mostly men, or 'couples" which means men who rope in their partners. What kind of erotica do women prefer? Written erotica. They consume over 70%, and we're talking stories with an awful lot of plot here, quite different from male erotica (which gets labelled pornography because women don't like it).

And society has divided male and female sexuality with a meat cleaver. Basically, if you are a boy, society has given the green light to go after whatever you want. Even your parents don't usually care that much as long as there's no risk of pregnancy. Girls, not so much. Peers generally admire sexually adventurous boys with many partners. I've never seen such admiration expressed from peers towards a girl. A guy would be treated with admiration, a girl with contempt. And yes, I'm generalizing, but while society has come to accept female sexuality much more than it used to, there are still limits.

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There was an interesting study talking about how men who are more buttoned down and it less masculine (definitely me) tend to be more likely to be butt men and want to give anal. We express our animal nature in different ways than the jock types, who tend to be boob men.

I think the degree to which we engage in 'unconventional' sex is probably related to our imagination.

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I had a hetero guy at the workplace ask me and some other hetero guys if they ever had anal sex. And he wasn't asking for homosexual reasons I can assure you.

A friend of mine use to always tell me how much he wanted to have anal intercourse with his wife.

One day he told me he had the opportunity but could not complete because he couldn't bare to inflict the pain on his wife.


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I wasn't addressing you nor talking about you specifically.

Ok fair enough then.

However, there hasn't been enough comments on this thread to say some generalization term as you did.

Perhaps among your circle of friends or your area in which you reside, what you said applies. But not so far on this site.


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In my experience, most women want to at least try it once. Strangely, a couple who are not serious or even strangers have a better chance of reaching this stage than married people. Why? The problem is getting her head around the next day issues. She will wonder what you think of her, what she thinks of herself and if she can look you in the eyes afterward - and vice versa. This is after all, the person you love and will spend the rest of your life with.

The first thing you can try is role playing. As was mentioned in an earlier post, it's about the mind for women, and as long as she can make it okay that it's not really her - its a role, it becomes easier to expand into the taboo areas of the bedroom - I recommend "strangers on a train", "Bad guard, naughty inmate" or "Davie girl".

Now, the above isn't for everyone and because you have a loving relationship, you must show her that you're there for her needs as much as your own. Here is where you setup a tantric massage session. Wine, candles, lots of oils and a deep massage of ALL her lady bits should show her how much you care about her experience. You'll already be down there massaging that specific region - and she'll begin relaxing. Start with the massage and slowly a finger and gradually break down the barriers to smaller increments. Then start rubbing her button with your penis...and see what happens. She'll be more receptive if she doesn't have to make eye contact. In the unlikely case that she doesn't trust how gentle you'll be with her, suggest that she she go on top and control the pace - remember, this is about her enjoyment too and if she enjoys it, it's a win/win.

If this isn't working you must go immediately to plan B...."I slipped, my bad" :P

Edited by Hal 9000
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