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WWWTT

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Good grief. Sadly, you have denigrated this thread already. A male member asking a female member this question is disguisting.

I am not sure I understand the reason for the disgust. I thought the new feminism was supposed to be sex-positive?

I have had lots of wonderful experiences with wonderful people, and I'm not ashamed of it. I know that my value does not come from some arbitrary list of things that I have not done. I think my experiences have enriched me as a person, and I hope that everybody gets a chance to have as much joy in their life as I have had.

-k

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I am not sure I understand the reason for the disgust. I thought the new feminism was supposed to be sex-positive?

I have had lots of wonderful experiences with wonderful people, and I'm not ashamed of it. I know that my value does not come from some arbitrary list of things that I have not done. I think my experiences have enriched me as a person, and I hope that everybody gets a chance to have as much joy in their life as I have had.

-k

It's disguist in the way he has reached out to female members of this site, while being a married man. For me, that presents a problem. I have also had wonderful experiences with wonderful people, but I do not seek out men while in a marriage to ask questions of whether they like anal sex.

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It's disguist in the way he has reached out to female members of this site, while being a married man. For me, that presents a problem. I have also had wonderful experiences with wonderful people, but I do not seek out men while in a marriage to ask questions of whether they like anal sex.

I don't think he was trying to turn this into AdultFriendFinder. Perhaps he was just asking an honest question. Perhaps he's interested in finding ways that he and his wife can keep busy during her pregnancy. Perhaps he was interested in hearing a female perspective.

'New Feminism'. Please explain this new term to me.

I may have the rhetoric confused. Didn't it used to be a theme among some feminists that sex was inherently exploitive and oppressive to women, that erotica was inherently demeaning to women, and so-on? And hasn't that largely been replaced with the view that women should be free to experience their sexuality?

-k

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I don't think he was trying to turn this into AdultFriendFinder. Perhaps he was just asking an honest question. Perhaps he's interested in finding ways that he and his wife can keep busy during her pregnancy. Perhaps he was interested in hearing a female perspective.

I may have the rhetoric confused. Didn't it used to be a theme among some feminists that sex was inherently exploitive and oppressive to women, that erotica was inherently demeaning to women, and so-on? And hasn't that largely been replaced with the view that women should be free to experience their sexuality?

-k

Yes, he was turning this into an adult friend finder. Women should absolutely be free to find their sexuality, not sure why you think women feel repressed? Perhaps you need to educate yourself on women's issues?

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Perhaps because he asked a female member?

...wouldn't that be the best way to get a female perspective?

If I'd thought it was anything other than curiosity, I wouldn't have replied.

-k

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...wouldn't that be the best way to get a female perspective?

If I'd thought it was anything other than curiosity, I wouldn't have replied.

-k

Maybe you replied because you wanted to make it seem like it was cool, and not a sexist comment. And because you wanted to represent yourself as a cool woman. The fact is, it was a disgraceful comment and you got suckered in.

Edited by WestCoastRunner
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I didn't get "suckered in", I just don't share your Church Lady sensibilities. I don't need to represent myself as cool, because the people in my real life know I'm cool. And my cat knows I'm cool. And I don't think talking about sex is sexist.

-k

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I didn't get "suckered in", I just don't share your Church Lady sensibilities. I don't need to represent myself as cool, because the people in my real life know I'm cool. And my cat knows I'm cool. And I don't think talking about sex is sexist.

-k

I assure you, I am no church lady. I enjoy talking about sex with the appropriate folks.

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I have also had wonderful experiences with wonderful people, but I do not seek out men while in a marriage to ask questions of whether they like anal sex.

The incongruence in perceptions is pretty interesting. A married man trawling the internet for women who like anal sex is generally dismissed or shrugged aside, whilst a married woman trawling the internet for men who like anal sex would be met with shame and moral denouncements. There's your connection to gender issues.
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The incongruence in perceptions is pretty interesting. A married man trawling the internet for women who like anal sex is generally dismissed or shrugged aside, whilst a married woman trawling the internet for men who like anal sex would be met with shame and moral denouncements. There's your connection to gender issues.

Who said I was only interested in hearing the female perspective?

After barely three pages into this thread, you're making some big assumptions of what the consensus is.

WWWTT

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I assure you, I am no church lady. I enjoy talking about sex with the appropriate folks.

I would like to add that you like dictating to members on this forum that we must adhere to your morals!

You know where you can put your morals!

WWWTT

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And I don't think talking about sex is sexist.

-k

Excellent point!

Sexism and sexual have two distinctly different definitions.

I remember a British comedian called Benny Hill was accused of sexism for having what I called sexual skits. I never thought he defended himself as strong as I would have.

A group of critics accused the show of sexism, but Hill said that female characters kept their dignity while the men who chase them were portrayed as buffoons.

Above quote taken from wikipedia.

WWWTT

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...wouldn't that be the best way to get a female perspective?

If I'd thought it was anything other than curiosity, I wouldn't have replied.

-k

Actually I don't know any males that would be willingly open to express their experience if they had any.

But everyone seems to be a little too focused on the anus for the moment.

WWWTT

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In all seriousness, anal sex is fine, but my girlfriend doesn't really enjoy it, so it happened once and didn't happen two more times as she couldn't calm her self down enough.

There was an interesting study talking about how men who are more buttoned down and it less masculine (definitely me) tend to be more likely to be butt men and want to give anal. We express our animal nature in different ways than the jock types, who tend to be boob men.

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What puzzles me is why gender topics are lumped in with sex topics? Not that I have anything against sex by why not 'Federal Politics and Sex' or 'US Politics and Sex' or ......

Pretty sure (or hopeful) that the "sex" in the "sex and gender issues" refers to issues having to do with the biological category of "sex" (as in male vs female), which is completely different than gender (ie: one can identity as female in gender while being born male biologically/sexually), rather than this being a place to post this kind of thread about the physical activity of sex.

But anyways, the act of sex is still a "sex and gender" issue so I think it still belongs here.

Edited by Moonlight Graham
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It's disguist in the way he has reached out to female members of this site, while being a married man. For me, that presents a problem. I have also had wonderful experiences with wonderful people, but I do not seek out men while in a marriage to ask questions of whether they like anal sex.

In the context of this thread, it's still a bit awkward of a question but the guy is just asking a question, he's not cheating on his wife.

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Yes, he was turning this into an adult friend finder.

That's a very serious accusation that IMO doesn't have merit. You're reading into things without evidence. "Have you ever had anal sex?" (in a thread about sex!) doesn't mean "Tell me about your anal sex experiences so I can masturbate thinking about them, and would you like to have anal sex with me?".

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