Middle-Age Professionals in Crisis - Robin Williams Connection

[Wilber]

for some, it's called disposable income... the amount of. For some, it's called fiscal reality and needing to pay bills, support families, etc.

That of course can be the party pooper. I consider myself very fortunate to be in a position where I can do a good number of the things I would like, but there is a limited window of opportunity for everyone and it keeps getting smaller a lot faster than you thought it would.

Edited August 19, 2014 by Wilber

[BubberMiley]

For example, I haven't yet been to Egypt, Prague or walked to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro.

Two of my nieces walked to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro last year and they hated it.

[Mighty AC]

Two of my nieces walked to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro last year and they hated it.

Really, why? Did they hate the hike itself or just the whole Tanzanian experience?

[BubberMiley]

Really, why? Did they hate the hike itself or just the whole Tanzanian experience?

The altitude sickness. They're both really fit, but they got extremely sick and sore and tired.

[Bonam]

Two of my nieces walked to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro last year and they hated it.

I've been up Kili. It was fun, but honestly far from my favorite. The rules make it so you are pretty much forced to hire hordes of guides and porters who do most of the work for you and make it too easy and feel like too much of a hand-holding experience. The mountain is also covered in trash, hordes of people, and the last remnants of snow are kind of sad looking.

I much preferred, for example, my trips up Rainier or Denali, which were done just as a group of friends, with no guides/porters. It feels much more like an adventure rather than a tour, and you get a much greater sense of accomplishment, independence, freedom, etc.

To someone who lives in North America and is not otherwise a mountain climber but wants to go for one big summit, I would highly recommend Rainier over Kilimanjaro. It is closer, cheaper, cleaner, and feels much more self-sustained, even if you do it with a guide (you still won't have porters). And, you can do it in a single weekend or long weekend depending on if you have to fly in or drive.

Edited August 20, 2014 by Bonam

[dre]

The article (link, excerpts below) is less interesting about Robin Williams and more interesting about a growing problem and one I can identify with. I am in my mid-50's and have been a practicing attorney for more than 30 years, 28 with the same person who has been mentor, colleague and friend. In January the two of us left one firm for another in New York City. A few days before my stepfather of 40 years died, and my mother's growing dementia spiraled to hte point that she now gets 24/7 home care, spends her time between a hospital bed and a wheelchair in the home, and is near death.

I have a loving wife and two children. Recently I learned that I am being "right-sized' out of the firm at the end of the year. They want a younger "image" to the firm. I am quite good at what I do.

Given my genetics I am likely to live well into my 90's if not further. Gaining re-employment is going to be a struggle. The problem is that people in my shoes, i.e. healthy, motivated middle-aged people are becoming superfluous. While I don't plan on doing anything stupid, I can well understand the gist of this article.

Robin Williams one of many: More middle-aged men committing suicide, and experts don’t know why

Jamie Turner lived 54 years before he decided that was enough.

During those five decades and then some, he’d raised two children into upstanding adults. He had an 18-year career as a nurse in the emergency room at the Royal Victoria Regional Health Centre in Barrie, Ont. — a job that had him see his fair share of trauma, of dead children and distress.

And then, with retirement on the horizon, he received a layoff notice. Then his mother-in-law died of cancer and his own mother too, shortly thereafter.

It was something he couldn’t even understand himself

“That was the breaking point,” said his widow, Sue Turner. Until that time, he’d been the rock of the family — always shelving his own feelings for the good of everyone else.

“Something happened to Jamie,” she said. “And it was something he couldn’t even understand himself.”

*********************

“The actual numbers are throwing this curveball at us,” said Dan Bilsker, a clinical psychologist in Vancouver who has spent 25 years working with suicidal patients at Vancouver General Hospital. “Something new has developed socially here, some new phenomena is happening. We don’t really have the wherewithal to understand it.”

We need to find something productive for middle-aged people to do; and don't say "volunteer work" since we have families still remaining.

Well youre making an assumption as to why you might be let go. To be honest I would wager it has a lot more to do with your tenuous grasp of both logic and common sense. When I read your posts on here I honestly cant imagine you having a successful career doing anything at all.

I also doubt the entire premise of this thread from your perspective. I work in the legal industry and for the most part its a numbers game. If you were "very good at what you do", then you would be making somebody a bunch of money, and your assertion that you might be fired for your age doesnt ring true. From my experince the legal industry is one of the less ageist industries out there. I see guys at 60-70 that play prominent roles in major cases all the time, and I work for some really big firms where almost none of the partners are younger than you.

[bush_cheney2004]

Well youre making an assumption as to why you might be let go. To be honest I would wager it has a lot more to do with your tenuous grasp of both logic and common sense. When I read your posts on here I honestly cant imagine you having a successful career doing anything at all.

Another honestly unnecessary personal attack.

[Wilber]

Another honestly unnecessary personal attack.

I agree.

[BC_chick]

Another honestly unnecessary personal attack.

It was harshly worded but I get what he's saying. Having a good grasp on logic is the basis for law. The LSAT may seem trivial but it does test your logic skills simply because it's what's needed for a successful career in the field. I like jbg a lot on a personal note but admittedly, at times I'm also taken aback by the leaps of logic.

I've also wondered how a seasoned lawyer could make fallacious arguments (particularly non-sequitur) when much of the basic training in his field was to form plausible and rational arguments. Dre also raised another good point - lawyers get better with age unlike many other professions.

Something in this right-sizing does seem strange.

Nevertheless the whole thing is very unfortunate to say the least. Jbg, I'm very sorry. I've experienced it too, I know the feeling of pure desperation that comes with it. Trust me though, when the door opens to a new and better chapter you won't be

believe you were this state of mind over things. Just hang in there and plan your next move.

My favourite bruce Lee quote: If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

Edited August 21, 2014 by BC_chick

[jacee]

I am in the IT industry with dozens of workstations and servers at my disposal. I actually get paid an obscene salary to do exactly as you describe, but next year I will no longer trade time (a far more valuable resource)...for money.

Maybe I will post less here if I am not being paid for it !

You get paid to post here?

Uncle Sam's eye on Canada?

.

[jacee]

...

Nevertheless the whole thing is very unfortunate to say the least. Jbg, I'm very sorry. I've experienced it too, I know the feeling of pure desperation that comes with it. Trust me though, when the door opens to a new and better chapter you won't be

believe you were this state of mind over things. Just hang in there and plan your next move.

My favourite bruce Lee quote: If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

I was thinking how to say something like that too, and I'm of an age where I can speak from experience.

jbg ... Do NOT define yourself by what other people think. If you think they're foolish to let you go, you're right. Corporate systems suck good people dry and then spit them out all the time.

Their loss.

It's your time now.

Your years of kowtowing to 'the bosses' are over.

Now you are in control.

And wait til you hit 60!

You won't give a sh!t what anyone thinks!

.

[Wilber]

I don't know, with jbg I'm sometimes not sure whether he is being serious or just stiring the pot.

[waldo]

You get paid to post here?

Uncle Sam's eye on Canada?

.

just part of an NSA outreach campaign!

[jbg]

Well youre making an assumption as to why you might be let go. To be honest I would wager it has a lot more to do with your tenuous grasp of both logic and common sense. When I read your posts on here I honestly cant imagine you having a successful career doing anything at all.

I also doubt the entire premise of this thread from your perspective. I work in the legal industry and for the most part its a numbers game. If you were "very good at what you do", then you would be making somebody a bunch of money, and your assertion that you might be fired for your age doesnt ring true. From my experince the legal industry is one of the less ageist industries out there. I see guys at 60-70 that play prominent roles in major cases all the time, and I work for some really big firms where almost none of the partners are younger than you.

There is only so much detail I can go into but my CV has about 10-12 favorable reported decisions in my quiver and about 2-3 losses. Many of those are appellate reversals of bankruptcy court decisions and those are hard to come by. At the beginning of 2012 some people made a really stupid decision to open a new division. We promptly lost $500,000 and were forced to merge. My mentor of 28 years did not fit in well and when he left I went with him. The business "book" at the new firm was insufficient for two people.

It was harshly worded but I get what he's saying. Having a good grasp on logic is the basis for law. The LSAT may seem trivial but it does test your logic skills simply because it's what's needed for a successful career in the field. I like jbg a lot on a personal note but admittedly, at times I'm also taken aback by the leaps of logic.

I've also wondered how a seasoned lawyer could make fallacious arguments (particularly non-sequitur) when much of the basic training in his field was to form plausible and rational arguments. Dre also raised another good point - lawyers get better with age unlike many other professions.

Something in this right-sizing does seem strange.

Nevertheless the whole thing is very unfortunate to say the least. Jbg, I'm very sorry. I've experienced it too, I know the feeling of pure desperation that comes with it. Trust me though, when the door opens to a new and better chapter you won't be

believe you were this state of mind over things. Just hang in there and plan your next move.

My favourite bruce Lee quote: If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

I was one of three people in my department of eight cut. Ultimately bankruptcy departments are junior stepchilds to the litigation department. Guess who wins any power struggle?

I was thinking how to say something like that too, and I'm of an age where I can speak from experience.

jbg ... Do NOT define yourself by what other people think. If you think they're foolish to let you go, you're right. Corporate systems suck good people dry and then spit them out all the time.

Their loss.

It's your time now.

Your years of kowtowing to 'the bosses' are over.

Now you are in control.

And wait til you hit 60!

You won't give a sh!t what anyone thinks!

.

Thanks for the kind words. You and I don't agree on much but the other posters who I responded to here took it out on me. You didn't, to your credit.

[jbg]

I don't know, with jbg I'm sometimes not sure whether he is being serious or just stiring the pot.

About 1/3 of the time being facetious and about 2/3 of the time serious.

[BC_chick]

Thanks for the kind words. You and I don't agree on much but the other posters who I responded to here took it out on me. You didn't, to your credit.

Ahem, I did a bit of both. I truly do sympathize with you and I made sure to include that as well.