50 Shades of Grey

[Argus]

I don't get it, or maybe I do. Maybe it's because I'm male. Just about every woman I know has read this thing. The author, as I understand it, was originally writing fan fiction for the Twilight series (something else I don't get). Someone convinced her to remove the vampires and werewolves and put it on kindle, and the thing sold 20 million copies, then 20 million paperbacks. It is, by most accounts, a poorly written story full of enormous plot holes. So why has it caught the fancy of females everywhere?

The other day I overhear my director general, a fiftysomething female, discussing the series with my fortysomething male manager. Both have read it. Most of the women in my group have read it, young and old. Why?

It's easy to think of it as "mommyporn", as it's been dubbed, but it's clearly not porn. It's mostly infamous for kinky sex, though I don't think that's the attraction to women. The attraction seems to be the male love interest. This is not erotica, as many believe, but a fairly typical romance, with some graphic sex thrown in. The male love interest is an incredibly handsome, amazingly young self-made billionaire who likes to tie women up and whip them. This merely indicates he's tormented himself, of course, and our heroine sets out to fix him.

I think this is the big draw for women. The nearly perfect man is an irresistible draw for women (there ARE no perfect men). And an even bigger draw is being able to fix the nearly perfect man. As the saying goes, women marry men thinking they can change them and they can't (Men marry women thinking they won't change and they do). So the plucky heroine gets the nearly-perfect man and then changes him, ie, cures him of his inner demons so he can BE the perfect man and stop all that kinky stuff. And she manages to have lots of amazing orgasms in the process.

But this has been done ad nauseum in womens fiction, and done far better, with far more craft. So I'm still left to wonder why this silly series has become so popular among women.

BTW, it's an interesting statement on society that we still HAVE womens fiction (ie romances). There is no "Mens fiction" as such, because that would encompass everything else. Yes, women do read traditional male areas such as fantasy, science fiction, thrillers and mysteries, and of course, erotica, but men have still got no interest in romances.

[Guest American Woman]

This is not erotica, as many believe, but a fairly typical romance, with some graphic sex thrown in.

Oh, it's erotic alright.

The male love interest is an incredibly handsome, amazingly young self-made billionaire who likes to tie women up and whip them. This merely indicates he's tormented himself, of course, and our heroine sets out to fix him.

No she doesn't. He sets out to fix himself, because he loves her so much. Big difference, and important difference.

I think this is the big draw for women. The nearly perfect man is an irresistible draw for women (there ARE no perfect men). And an even bigger draw is being able to fix the nearly perfect man.

No. Again, the appeal is that he loves her so much he fixes himself. She most definitely does not change him. Her love, not wanting to lose her, is what "fixes him."

As the saying goes, women marry men thinking they can change them and they can't (Men marry women thinking they won't change and they do).

Really? That's a saying? Among men, I'm assuming.

So the plucky heroine gets the nearly-perfect man and then changes him.....

I'm not going to repeat myself yet again, but you should get the picture by now.....

But this has been done ad nauseum in womens fiction, and done far better, with far more craft.

How do you know?

...men have still got no interest in romances.

So what makes you think you are able to give an opinion on it if you haven't read it?

[bush_cheney2004]

I browsed this book at an end cap display in a Sam's Club, of all places. Copies were moving briskly, thrown in shopping carts next to bulk purchases of toilet paper, dog food, and canned tuna. Looking past the obvious erotic content, I surmised that is has an appeal to women that most men cannot relate to beyond that level. "Mommyporn" is the expected superficial label, but the author intended far more, and created a stir at book clubs from NPR to the house down the street.

Nevertheless, I put my copy under the frozen pizzas.

[Argus]

Oh, it's erotic alright.

I didn't say it didn't have erotic scenes. I said it was not erotica. It's romance.

No she doesn't. He sets out to fix himself, because he loves her so much. Big difference, and important difference.

Uhm, no, there's no difference. It's the same way women have been trying to change men forever. Either change how you do things or how you behave or you get no sex from me.

Really? That's a saying? Among men, I'm assuming.

You think quotations are only used by men? Is there a gender requirement to use a quotation?

So what makes you think you are able to give an opinion on it if you haven't read it?

What makes you think I haven't read it?

[Guest American Woman]

Looking past the obvious erotic content, I surmised that is has an appeal to women that most men cannot relate to beyond that level.

I agree.

...the author intended far more, and created a stir at book clubs from NPR to the house down the street.

It was much more, too. The sexual/Sub-Dom aspect of it got a lot of attention, but that's not what the series is all about. If it were, I don't think it would have been the hit that it is. It's a fantasy, for sure; everything about it is a fantasy. The rich, handsome beyond belief, perfect guy who has it all - almost - but needs her to make his life complete - and of course would never even look at another woman, as he puts her above all else - even work, as he still manages to make his multi-billion business a growing success.

There's more to the story, of course - but that's the gist of the fantasy.

Nevertheless, I put my copy under the frozen pizzas.

Edited December 9, 2012 by American Woman

[Guest American Woman]

I didn't say it didn't have erotic scenes. I said it was not erotica. It's romance.

It's both.

Uhm, no, there's no difference. It's the same way women have been trying to change men forever. Either change how you do things or how you behave or you get no sex from me.

Ummm. Yeah. There is a difference. A big difference. Again. She didn't try to change him. He made the choice to change. He wanted to be with her. It was his choice.

You think quotations are only used by men? Is there a gender requirement to use a quotation?

Did I in any way at all suggest that there was?? I was referring only to the quotation you referenced.

What makes you think I haven't read it?

Perhaps you did, but just didn't get it.

But in light of your "men aren't interested in romance novels," I find it would be contradictory if you have read it - as well as enough other romance novels to be able to make a comparison, as you have done.

[bush_cheney2004]

..... The rich, handsome beyond belief, perfect guy who has it all - almost - but needs her to make his life complete - and of course would never even look at another woman, as he puts her above all else - even work, as he still manages to make his multi-billion business a growing success.

So not only does it appeal to the feminine psyche, it is empowering. Coincidentally, I was watching Mankind yesterday and the segment on Shah Jahan's dedication to his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal. Jahan was regarded as the richest man in the world at the time, and he spent his dough building a tomb and monument to his wife, who died during the birth of her 14th child.

Just a guess, but I think chicks dig that !

[guyser]

My understanding is the book is popular with women due to the vagueness of the female character and how every woman who reads it can see themselves as her.

IOW, the lack of specifics in her is what makes it popular.

[sharkman]

Some time ago I discovered that I don't care for fiction from female authors. I suppose it's the female approach to things, but it bugged me and I chose to stay with the likes of Grisham, Creighton, Dekker, Forsythe, Flynn(among others), and now Brad Thor. But I almost prefer female artists when it comes to music.

I doubt I would enjoy this particular novel.

[August1991]

I don't get it, or maybe I do. Maybe it's because I'm male. Just about every woman I know has read this thing. The author, as I understand it, was originally writing fan fiction for the Twilight series (something else I don't get). Someone convinced her to remove the vampires and werewolves and put it on kindle, and the thing sold 20 million copies, then 20 million paperbacks. It is, by most accounts, a poorly written story full of enormous plot holes. So why has it caught the fancy of females everywhere?

Females everywhere? No, WASP females.

Go figure.

[blueblood]

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=uncle%20si%2050%20shades%20of%20grey%20quote&source=web&cd=4&ved=0CEkQtwIwAw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3ljrc4XjYJM&ei=X9AGUaveMca0ygG9noHgBw&usg=AFQjCNFPo7KNEvvoBAdaDB7JqohqqX-bHg&bvm=bv.41524429,d.aWc