Some of the Best Advice Ever Written

[jbg]

General Robert E. Lee, the Civil War General for the Confederate States of America (i.e. the bad guys in that war) penned a letter to his son to that is too eloquent not to repeat. This is what I aspire to (despite occasional bursts of sarcasm, to say what I mean, mean what I say. Letter below (link to source):

==============================================================

Robert E. Lee to His Son

You must study to be frank with the world. Frankness is the child of honesty and courage. Say just what you mean to do, on every occasion, and take it for granted that you mean to do right. If a friend asks a favor, you should grant it, if it is reasonable; if not, tell him plainly why you cannot; you would wrong him and wrong yourself by equivocation of any kind.

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one; the man who requires you to do so is dearly purchased at the sacrifice. Deal kindly but firmly with all your classmates; you will find it the policy which wears best. Above all, do not appear to others what you are not.

If you have any fault to find with any one, tell him, not others, of what you complain; there is no more dangerous experiment than that of undertaking to be one thing before a man's face and another behind his back. We should live, act, and say nothing to the injury of any one. It is not only for the best as a matter of principle, but it is the path of peace and honor.

In regard to duty, let me, in conclusion of this hasty letter, inform you that nearly a hundred years ago there was a day of remarkable gloom and darkness -- still known as "the dark day" -- a day when the light of the sun was slowly extinguished, as if by an eclipse.

The Legislature of Connecticut was in session, and as its members saw the unexpected and unaccountable darkness coming on, they shared in general awe and terror. It was supposed by many that the last day -- the day of judgment -- had come. Some one, in the consternation of the hour, moved an adjournment.

Then there arose an old Puritan legislator, Davenport, of Stamford, and said that, if the last day had come, he desired to be found at his place doing his duty, and therefore moved that candles be brought in, so that the House could proceed with its duty.

There was quietness in that man's mind, the quietness of heavenly wisdom and inflexible willingness to obey present duty. Duty, then, is the sublimest word in our language. Do your duty in all things like the old Puritan. You cannot do more; you should never wish to do less. Never let your mother or me wear one gray hair for any lack of duty on your part.

[August1991]

Uh, wasn't Lee defeated at Gettysburg and then didn't he surrender at Appomattox?

Isn't that like taking advice from Brezhnev?

[Figleaf]

Not proposing to detract from Lee's advice there (which seems generally (pun intended) sound), I would add ...

'Duty' is word much loved by those who would seek more of us than our private consciences in its absence would require. 'Duty' is too often the rhetoritician's delight, but the mother's, wives, and children's despair.

If someone proposes that you must do your duty, think, 'How is that my duty? Who makes it so? Have I other duties that should first be served?'

Then, do your duty.

[Remiel]

I don't see what bearing a military defeat on the battlefield has on essentially philosophical advice.

[jbg]

Uh, wasn't Lee defeated at Gettysburg and then didn't he surrender at Appomattox?

Isn't that like taking advice from Brezhnev?

Not really. He was not in favor of secession. He regarded himself as a citizen of Virginia and went with the State.

His life and career generally were stellar. On his own volition, long before the Civil War, he freed his slaves. Basically, the man was a gem.

[jbg]

Not proposing to detract from Lee's advice there (which seems generally (pun intended) sound), I would add ...

'Duty' is word much loved by those who would seek more of us than our private consciences in its absence would require. 'Duty' is too often the rhetoritician's delight, but the mother's, wives, and children's despair.

If someone proposes that you must do your duty, think, 'How is that my duty? Who makes it so? Have I other duties that should first be served?'

Then, do your duty.

The "duty" issue was the continuation of the Legislature's business in the face of the panic that a solar eclipse caused.

[Figleaf]

Not proposing to detract from Lee's advice there (which seems generally (pun intended) sound), I would add ...

'Duty' is word much loved by those who would seek more of us than our private consciences in its absence would require. 'Duty' is too often the rhetoritician's delight, but the mother's, wives, and children's despair.

If someone proposes that you must do your duty, think, 'How is that my duty? Who makes it so? Have I other duties that should first be served?'

Then, do your duty.

The "duty" issue was the continuation of the Legislature's business in the face of the panic that a solar eclipse caused.

I understand that; my comment was intended to apply more generally.

[jbg]

Not proposing to detract from Lee's advice there (which seems generally (pun intended) sound), I would add ...

'Duty' is word much loved by those who would seek more of us than our private consciences in its absence would require. 'Duty' is too often the rhetoritician's delight, but the mother's, wives, and children's despair.

If someone proposes that you must do your duty, think, 'How is that my duty? Who makes it so? Have I other duties that should first be served?'

Then, do your duty.

The "duty" issue was the continuation of the Legislature's business in the face of the panic that a solar eclipse caused.

I understand that; my comment was intended to apply more generally.

I would assume that Lee's advice was constrained by the concept that the underlying objective was worthwhile.

[Figleaf]

Not proposing to detract from Lee's advice there (which seems generally (pun intended) sound), I would add ...

'Duty' is word much loved by those who would seek more of us than our private consciences in its absence would require. 'Duty' is too often the rhetoritician's delight, but the mother's, wives, and children's despair.

If someone proposes that you must do your duty, think, 'How is that my duty? Who makes it so? Have I other duties that should first be served?'

Then, do your duty.

The "duty" issue was the continuation of the Legislature's business in the face of the panic that a solar eclipse caused.

I understand that; my comment was intended to apply more generally.

I would assume that Lee's advice was constrained by the concept that the underlying objective was worthwhile.

I agree. As I noted, my comment is not intended to detract from the validity of the quote, or the quotee.

[jbg]

Uh, wasn't Lee defeated at Gettysburg and then didn't he surrender at Appomattox?

Isn't that like taking advice from Brezhnev?

Back in the day, people thought of themselves as citizens of their State first, the United States second. While the Civil War settled that issue to the contrary, it was a very open question then.

Similar to Mulroney and Duceppes being Quebeckers first, Canadians second.

[August1991]

Back in the day, people thought of themselves as citizens of their State first, the United States second. While the Civil War settled that issue to the contrary, it was a very open question then.

Similar to Mulroney and Duceppes being Quebeckers first, Canadians second.

It may have changed in the US but I doubt it will ever change in Canada. Canada is a binational (or even trinational) country and we'll always be a bilingual country. We no longer owe allegiance to denomination. But I think we'll always divide on language - if the country remains united. Such is Canada.

But thanks, jbg, for resurrecting this thread.

Duty, then, is the sublimest word in our language. Do your duty in all things like the old Puritan. You cannot do more; you should never wish to do less. Never let your mother or me wear one gray hair for any lack of duty on your part.

Duty is a thoroughly 19th century word and I've never been comfortable with it. If fewer people had been willing to do their duty, World War I might have been less of a slaughter.

It is all fine and good to honour one's word but when the marriage becomes a catfight, it seems more sensible to forsake duty and divorce. That's the lesson of the Enlightenment that became popular in the 1960s.

IOW, I don't think Lee has alot to say to people in the modern world.

[jbg]

It may have changed in the US but I doubt it will ever change in Canada. Canada is a binational (or even trinational) country and we'll always be a bilingual country. We no longer owe allegiance to denomination. But I think we'll always divide on language - if the country remains united. Such is Canada.

But thanks, jbg, for resurrecting this thread.

You are welcome. The price for this kind of "unity" which we now enjoy was terribly high. Maybe our celebration of that is making a virtue out of what already happened, in Orwell's words "doublethink". I personally am glad to live in a country where the waving flag brings tears to peoples eyes rather than serves as a symbol of a failed effort to unite the country (I mean trading in the Ensign).

Duty is a thoroughly 19th century word and I've never been comfortable with it. If fewer people had been willing to do their duty, World War I might have been less of a slaughter.

It is all fine and good to honour one's word but when the marriage becomes a catfight, it seems more sensible to forsake duty and divorce. That's the lesson of the Enlightenment that became popular in the 1960s.

IOW, I don't think Lee has alot to say to people in the modern world.

I was focusing more on the first three paragraphs (exerpted below), and even mulled cutting the letter off there. I didn't think that was intellectually honest. The first three paragraphs are timely and quite frankly are the standards I try to uphold in my "real life" dealings.

On "duty" I take a middle ground between the 19th Century and the permissiveness of the late 1960's.

You must study to be frank with the world. Frankness is the child of honesty and courage. Say just what you mean to do, on every occasion, and take it for granted that you mean to do right. If a friend asks a favor, you should grant it, if it is reasonable; if not, tell him plainly why you cannot; you would wrong him and wrong yourself by equivocation of any kind.

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one; the man who requires you to do so is dearly purchased at the sacrifice. Deal kindly but firmly with all your classmates; you will find it the policy which wears best. Above all, do not appear to others what you are not.

If you have any fault to find with any one, tell him, not others, of what you complain; there is no more dangerous experiment than that of undertaking to be one thing before a man's face and another behind his back. We should live, act, and say nothing to the injury of any one. It is not only for the best as a matter of principle, but it is the path of peace and honor.

[Charles Anthony]

I was focusing more on the first three paragraphs (exerpted below), and even mulled cutting the letter off there. I didn't think that was intellectually honest. The first three paragraphs are timely and quite frankly are the standards I try to uphold in my "real life" dealings.

The world is a cruel place and Lee's honesty or frankness is modern-day naivety. Not everybody is receptive to honesty or frankness.

[DarkAngel_]

i agree, and found many a lesson in its words.

but most of it i understood to a point my teacher made.

"if you truly do not want to do it, why do you despair once its not done? a part of you was damaged by your decision to ignore your duty, now a part of you feels shame, and that can be interpreted as a petty act, i think i do not have to ask."

[jbg]

i agree, and found many a lesson in its words.

but most of it i understood to a point my teacher made.

"if you truly do not want to do it, why do you despair once its not done? a part of you was damaged by your decision to ignore your duty, now a part of you feels shame, and that can be interpreted as a petty act, i think i do not have to ask."

Dark Angel - No comprendo.

[newbie]

Lee's letter might have a little more credibility had he won. I'd rather read Lincoln's speeches. A "gem" is just a little over the top.

[jbg]

Lee's letter might have a little more credibility had he won. I'd rather read Lincoln's speeches. A "gem" is just a little over the top.

Lee and Lincoln were both quite eloquent.

[DarkAngel_]

i agree with his letter, as i said, a teacher of mine said something simular.

the teaching seem to reflect early points of chivalry, if there is a relation, why is it striken so close to rules of professionalism?

[jbg]

i agree with his letter, as i said, a teacher of mine said something simular.

the teaching seem to reflect early points of chivalry, if there is a relation, why is it striken so close to rules of professionalism?

Rules of professionalism? Where did that come up?

[Figleaf]

I would assume that Lee's advice was constrained by the concept that the underlying objective was worthwhile.

On reflection, I must remark, Lee's major source of fame itself, leading the Confederacy, doesn't really conform with the idea of the underlying objective being worthwhile.

[jbg]

I would assume that Lee's advice was constrained by the concept that the underlying objective was worthwhile.

On reflection, I must remark, Lee's major source of fame itself, leading the Confederacy, doesn't really conform with the idea of the underlying objective being worthwhile.

The context was continuation of the legislatures' business, not secession.

His role in the Civil War was only one of the many aspects of Lee's life.