Should Developmentally Challenged Adults be Sterilized?

[Nocrap]

I know that my politics are left of centre and I am a strong supporter of human rights; including the right to choose; but I find myself in a moral dilema when it comes to my own daughter.

We adopted her when she was about 20 months old. Her parents were 'street people' in Toronto; both alcoholics. Therefore, when she showed developmental delays her diagnosis was fetal alcohol syndrome. However, when my grandson was born with extensive medical problems, tests were done which revealed that my daughter also has a rare genetic disorder. The mother carries the gene while the male offspring suffers most of the health problems.

We visted the geneticist on Friday and they made it very clear to her that if she becomes pregnant again, they can run a test beforehand to determine if the unborn child has the mutant gene (50-50 chance) and then she alone can decide what to do.

This is the background. My problem:

My daughter has been assessed with low IQ. Cognitavely she functions at a 12 year old level; socially just 7. How can she make such an important decision? Ultimately it will come back on me. That being said, how can I choose to have a grandchild aborted? He or she will be a sibling of my grandson, and regardless of the outcome of the test, we would probably allow the baby to come full term and then again end up raising them. Why do they not at least present the option of having her tubes tied? I've tried but her social worker only convinces her otherwise.

Clearly, she will never be able to raise a child on her own. In fact, because we can no longer handle her outbursts, she does not even live with us. We have full custody and she is only given supervised visitation, but must maintain a ten foot distance.

And my situation is not unique. My daughter is in the Special Olympics and one of her team mates has had three children. The grandmother is raising all three. Another mother has two of her daughter's FIVE children! The other three are in foster care. It creates situations that could be avoided.

My question is that if a person is deemed before hand that they can never be parents, should actions be taken to ensure that they never are? Help!

[margrace]

Nocrap what a terrible position to be in. One can see both sides of this. Alberta had a law ,did they not, that allowed for sterilization of mentally handicapped children and it backfired.

We have grandparents, too many for our small area, who are looking after grandchildren that are from supposedly mentally stable children. I don't know what happens when your equazion is added. My heart bleeds for you.

[Nocrap]

Nocrap what a terrible position to be in. One can see both sides of this. Alberta had a law ,did they not, that allowed for sterilization of mentally handicapped children and it backfired.

We have grandparents, too many for our small area, who are looking after grandchildren that are from supposedly mentally stable children. I don't know what happens when your equazion is added. My heart bleeds for you.

Thank you. At one time in Ontario sterilization was automatic. Now it is rarely done, without uncoerced permission from the person to be sterilized.

Ironically, my daughter is unable to make a decision of that magnitude without some gentle persuasion. I believe it is in her best interest (as does her GP) because she is much happier now that she is free from any responisibilty with regards to her child.

Initially, our role was to be supervisors, because the powers that be thought she could do this. Only her own family knew otherwise, but our hands were tied. Now that the Children's Aid, fearing for our grandson's safety, will not allow her to get closer than ten feet, it has become a nightmare.

I love my daughter. We speak on the phone at least twice a day and she rarely asks about her son. She visits me while he is in nursery school or when I'm not alone so that I have physical support should she become unmanagable. (I have MS myself so don't have the physical strength to control her)

Because she is on ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program), we have been given what they call an Emergency Foster Care Supplement of $220.00 per month in addition to another $200.00 per month respite for me. We would still look after him without any financial support, but am not sure how many more, if any, we can raise. My daughter is 28 so has at least 10 more years of prospective childbearing. In 10 years my husband will be 72!

Again, if we are to be responsible emotionally, morally and financially for her children, why can we not insist that she have her tubes tied?

Sure, we could just turn our backs and allow them to go into foster care (non-family member foster parents get $ 49.00 per day), but they are still my grandchildren!! I just couldn't do it.

[Rue]

Very tough situation for you. All I can say is I believe the guardians

or parents of a child that clearly can not make decisions and raise

children independently should have the right to decide what is best

for their children and this should be a matter between them and their

doctors. I do not like the State getting involved in such things.

If a parent feels they have no problem with a disabled child having

a child of their own, that's fine but they should not expect the state

to look after their child or the child's child.

I know that will upset people who feel the state is an endless source

of aid but I believe there are limits and sometimes we expect too much

from the State.

It may sound idealistic to say that its unfair to discriminate against the

disabled but the reality is people who can not make decisions for themselves

have to have someone do it for them.

The cold hard reality is people with serious developmental disabilities that

render them low i.q. have serious difficulties and challenges raising children

and eventually their children end up having to look after them far too early

in that child's life.

Forced sterilization no. The right for parents and guardians to make their own

decisions, yes. If someone has strong religious reasons for not sterilizing

their child, etc., then fine, but don't complain if the State intervenes and takes

the child of the disabled person away when things get out of control.

I think it takes courage to sterilize your loved one in such situations. Its not cruel.

[Renegade]

Nocrap, please accept my sympathies for the situation you and your daughter are in.

Before I address your question let me address my view on the sterilization of the developmentally disabled.

1. I don't think there should be a regulation which perscribes sterilization based upon the condition of the potential parent. The reason I feel this way is that despite how carefully such a law is crafted, there will always be people who are exceptions, and depriving the exception of their parential rights is too high a price to pay.

2. Each case should be assessed individually to determine if sterilization is the best option. Here are some of the factors which should be considered:

a. Does the potential parent have a genetic condiiton which may be passed on. If so how severely does the condition impact the offspring.

b. Would the offspring have suitable caregivers avaiable? This could be in the form of relatives who are willing to take on the rearing responsiblity or in the form of adoptive parents.

c. Is the potential parent willing, able to look after their offspring and do they have the necessary resources to do so?

d. Does the potential parent have the ability and power to exercise control on their sexual activity and are they able to properly use contraception?

My question is that if a person is deemed before hand that they can never be parents, should actions be taken to ensure that they never are? Help!

To address your question. It would seem based upon the specifics of your situation that you are making a reasonable request of your daughter by asking for her to be sterilized. It is however a request and she has no obligation to comply. If she does not you should consider her reasons why. Perhaps if she doesn't agree to sterilization, a compromize solution such as Depo Provera is called for.

[Nocrap]

Nocrap, please accept my sympathies for the situation you and your daughter are in.

Before I address your question let me address my view on the sterilization of the developmentally disabled.

1. I don't think there should be a regulation which perscribes sterilization based upon the condition of the potential parent. The reason I feel this way is that despite how carefully such a law is crafted, there will always be people who are exceptions, and depriving the exception of their parential rights is too high a price to pay.

2. Each case should be assessed individually to determine if sterilization is the best option. Here are some of the factors which should be considered:

a. Does the potential parent have a genetic condiiton which may be passed on. If so how severely does the condition impact the offspring.

b. Would the offspring have suitable caregivers avaiable? This could be in the form of relatives who are willing to take on the rearing responsiblity or in the form of adoptive parents.

c. Is the potential parent willing, able to look after their offspring and do they have the necessary resources to do so?

d. Does the potential parent have the ability and power to exercise control on their sexual activity and are they able to properly use contraception?

My question is that if a person is deemed before hand that they can never be parents, should actions be taken to ensure that they never are? Help!

To address your question. It would seem based upon the specifics of your situation that you are making a reasonable request of your daughter by asking for her to be sterilized. It is however a request and she has no obligation to comply. If she does not you should consider her reasons why. Perhaps if she doesn't agree to sterilization, a compromize solution such as Depo Provera is called for.

She was on the pill and is currently on Depo Provera, but often misses her appointments and goes months without protection. I've given her cabfare only to have the nurse call to say that she didn't show up, opting to go downtown instead. There is only a small window of opportunity to get the needle. Again, we can't force her to take birth control anymore than we can force her to get her tubes tied. (and she reminds me of this all the time)

I agree with you that sterilization should not be forced and every case is different. However, when the person is incapable of making such important decisions, there should at least be a hearing. Our family doctor believes that it would be in her own best interest, because she really does not want the reposibility of children, but his hands are also tied. She's often told her son she hated him and that she would never find a boyfreind because of him, etc. etc. In some ways it's fortunate that he's deaf, but there's no mistaking the pure hatred on her face. It's very sad.

So I guess my question is whether or not those involved with my daughter's wellbeing (she has a team as well as family support), should at least try to encourage her to consider sterilization as an option. They give her the option of a test for the mutant gene, but only after the fact, then present us with a much more difficult decision of whether or not to abort the fetus. There's got to be some middle ground.

[betsy]

Nocrap what a terrible position to be in. One can see both sides of this. Alberta had a law ,did they not, that allowed for sterilization of mentally handicapped children and it backfired.

We have grandparents, too many for our small area, who are looking after grandchildren that are from supposedly mentally stable children. I don't know what happens when your equazion is added. My heart bleeds for you.

Thank you. At one time in Ontario sterilization was automatic. Now it is rarely done, without uncoerced permission from the person to be sterilized.

Ironically, my daughter is unable to make a decision of that magnitude without some gentle persuasion. I believe it is in her best interest (as does her GP) because she is much happier now that she is free from any responisibilty with regards to her child.

Initially, our role was to be supervisors, because the powers that be thought she could do this. Only her own family knew otherwise, but our hands were tied. Now that the Children's Aid, fearing for our grandson's safety, will not allow her to get closer than ten feet, it has become a nightmare.

I love my daughter. We speak on the phone at least twice a day and she rarely asks about her son. She visits me while he is in nursery school or when I'm not alone so that I have physical support should she become unmanagable. (I have MS myself so don't have the physical strength to control her)

Because she is on ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program), we have been given what they call an Emergency Foster Care Supplement of $220.00 per month in addition to another $200.00 per month respite for me. We would still look after him without any financial support, but am not sure how many more, if any, we can raise. My daughter is 28 so has at least 10 more years of prospective childbearing. In 10 years my husband will be 72!

Again, if we are to be responsible emotionally, morally and financially for her children, why can we not insist that she have her tubes tied?

Sure, we could just turn our backs and allow them to go into foster care (non-family member foster parents get $ 49.00 per day), but they are still my grandchildren!! I just couldn't do it.

I'm so sorry to hear about your plight.

If she has an IQ that of a 12 year old....then shouldn't she be considered a minor, and therefore you, as the guardian make decisions for her? Could you take this to court?

[Nocrap]

Nocrap what a terrible position to be in. One can see both sides of this. Alberta had a law ,did they not, that allowed for sterilization of mentally handicapped children and it backfired.

We have grandparents, too many for our small area, who are looking after grandchildren that are from supposedly mentally stable children. I don't know what happens when your equazion is added. My heart bleeds for you.

Thank you. At one time in Ontario sterilization was automatic. Now it is rarely done, without uncoerced permission from the person to be sterilized.

Ironically, my daughter is unable to make a decision of that magnitude without some gentle persuasion. I believe it is in her best interest (as does her GP) because she is much happier now that she is free from any responisibilty with regards to her child.

Initially, our role was to be supervisors, because the powers that be thought she could do this. Only her own family knew otherwise, but our hands were tied. Now that the Children's Aid, fearing for our grandson's safety, will not allow her to get closer than ten feet, it has become a nightmare.

I love my daughter. We speak on the phone at least twice a day and she rarely asks about her son. She visits me while he is in nursery school or when I'm not alone so that I have physical support should she become unmanagable. (I have MS myself so don't have the physical strength to control her)

Because she is on ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program), we have been given what they call an Emergency Foster Care Supplement of $220.00 per month in addition to another $200.00 per month respite for me. We would still look after him without any financial support, but am not sure how many more, if any, we can raise. My daughter is 28 so has at least 10 more years of prospective childbearing. In 10 years my husband will be 72!

Again, if we are to be responsible emotionally, morally and financially for her children, why can we not insist that she have her tubes tied?

Sure, we could just turn our backs and allow them to go into foster care (non-family member foster parents get $ 49.00 per day), but they are still my grandchildren!! I just couldn't do it.

I'm so sorry to hear about your plight.

If she has an IQ that of a 12 year old....then shouldn't she be considered a minor, and therefore you, as the guardian make decisions for her? Could you take this to court?

That's the irony of it. They do consider me to be her legal guardian, which basically means that I'm responsible for her actions, but my rights are limited.

How can I take her to court? I mean morally, not legally. It puts the entire responsiblity on my shoulders and I already feel guilty just thinking about it.

If there were avenues where the reponsibilty was shared, and perhaps a panel to decide what's best for her and any unborn children, we would all rest a little easier.

I guess I'm just venting because the latest meeting was so frustrating.

[betsy]

Why do they not at least present the option of having her tubes tied? I've tried but her social worker only convinces her otherwise.

Can a social worker meddle in such things? To what extent can they interfere?

I think inspite of your daughter's condition...you have a good relationship with her. It is highly possible that you can persuade your daughter to agree with you....without this social worker undermining what you think is for the best interest of everyone.

If it is the social worker who stands in your way (which I think it is)....then try to do something about it.

[Wilber]

Nocrap

You have my sympathy and respect for taking on a difficult chore with grace. Whatever you chose, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.

My question is that if a person is deemed before hand that they can never be parents, should actions be taken to ensure that they never are? Help!

A simple question about a difficult problem. In my opinion the answer is yes. Particularly in this case because it isn't speculation. Your daughter has demonstrated she can't be a parent.

Good Luck

[betsy]

Nocrap

You have my sympathy and respect for taking on a difficult chore with grace. Whatever you chose, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.

My question is that if a person is deemed before hand that they can never be parents, should actions be taken to ensure that they never are? Help!

A simple question about a difficult problem. In my opinion the answer is yes. Particularly in this case because it isn't speculation. Your daughter has demonstrated she can't be a parent.

Good Luck

I agree with Wilber.