Senate - Spanking is child abuse

[Argus]

I don't believe in spanking, hitting - it is an abuse and children remember this stuff, it is traumatizing

That's kind of the point. A child who burns his finger on a match remembers it a lot better than a child who is simply told that matches can hurt him. A swift smack on the butt is a learning experience.

Now I'm sure it's true, as some have stated, that you can raise perfect, socially responsible children without ever spanking them. Kudos to you if you have the time, the personality, and the children with the matching personality that this will work. It's also true that if you take a random group of 100 kids who have been spanked and 100 who have not been, a far larger percentage of the latter will be screaming, obnoxious brats who are used to doing whatever they want. I"m sure I'm not the only one who sees them in public, jumping up and down, screaming and howling because they want something, while mommy stands there helplessly going "Now, dear, we discussed what is proper public behaviour. Remember, dear? Dear?" I knew one kid who used to spit at visitors. Another who would kick them in the ankle. All the while mom and dad would smile benignly and go "Now, dear, you know that's not right".

[GostHacked]

A few good spankings prevented me from ever having to stand before a judge as a defendant.

Disciplin your children, but don't abuse them.

Young children simply don't quite understand about actions and consequences. Telling a child for the most part wont do a damn thing, unless they are naturaly smart kids. A spaking instantly tells the child that the previous actions were not the right choice. Bad choices = pain. No one likes pain, so this teaches us to make better decisions.

I got many spankings when I was a kid. And holy crap did I ever deserve some of them. Those lessons you never ever ever forget. That is key here.

Argus is on par with my train of thought here it seems.

That's kind of the point. A child who burns his finger on a match remembers it a lot better than a child who is simply told that matches can hurt him. A swift smack on the butt is a learning experience

[RB]

........

Young children simply don't quite understand about actions and consequences. Telling a child for the most part wont do a damn thing, unless they are naturally smart kids. A spanking instantly tells the child that the previous actions were not the right choice. Bad choices = pain. No one likes pain, so this teaches us to make better decisions. .........

Argus is on par with my train of thought here it seems.

Obviously, I simply don't agree with the spanking a child. I think it is mostly a parent lack of control and the parent outburst that triggers spanking.

I mean I have seen parents spank their kids, pulled the child's ear. I was spank for heading off on my own to watch the the movie "two mules for sister sara", i was 10 at that time the movie had already premiere over a decade earlier but, I thought it was about "sister sara", we were religious Christians folks and plus we lived on a farm so I wanted to know about the mules and sister sara. I got spanked because I was not apologetic and sorry I watched the film. Only now, I think my mom spanked me to satisfy herself, to set example for the others, maybe to punish herself for bringing up defiant kids. We have heard or seen stories, some of the devices used are open hand, cane, belt, paddle, slipper, wooden spoon, bath brush, ruler, hairbrush, naked bottoms etc.

The trouble I have is since we insist that the parent lovingly spank their children as a form of punishment, who enforces what is reasonable "hitting" with all the devices listed above. How will parent at the time of hitting who didn't think twice to induce force spanking, suddenly decide OK I am angry, let me think now, I am going over the top, that this spanking now constitute abuse. Parents hit their children when they are angry, not because the children are naughty.

I mean when, can a child say I don't wish to be physically abused or do they ever get to say this? At what age is appropriate to start spanking and stop spanking. Since parents are spanking the children and it is "OK", is it OK for the children to hit other children.

I mean how do you reassure the child, mommy and daddy loves you. You didn't behave well at the grocery store now get ready to be spanked, and by the way adjust yourself for the screaming, shouting and explicits from the parent.

Edited June 20, 2008 by RB

[NativeCharm]

The worst is when a kid gets spanked (well deserved by some Im sure) and then immediately calls child welfare. My siblings and I all got a 'crank on the arse', usually only once or per hard lesson learned. None of us are repeat offenders and we are all 'free spirited'.

However, my younger sister called welfare on my mom once ( she was the bad kid) and while it seems sorta funny now, it really wasn't then. If it wasn't for getting a spank on the butt every now and then, some of us would never learn and "learn to listen" at that. Child welfare stepped in naturally, and while nothing really happened, the fact that all kids have to do is make a call and their parents can be investigated... is the issue that is scary.

So, parents should rethink spanking their kids , if only for the their own sake of avoiding being investigated as a child abuser. I think we all know how children can colorfully elaborate a great tale. Seriously, my mom broke a tree branch over my hide one time...ok, ok, maybe it was just a twig but it still broke and I laughed..OH HOW I LAUGHED!

Different types of kids, different types of discipline. My other sister would prefer a beating over having her cell phone taken away... any day!

Edited June 20, 2008 by NativeCharm

[RB]

Spanking is an emotional issue.

As adult we can all tell of the gleeful tales of being spanked, and how we were disciplined - punishment that are acceptable because we deserved to be punished for being "bad" or doing wrong. And thank goodness, look how good we turned out, OK with all that spanking. Therefore it is OK to spank your own children.

There is accumulated research to show that hitting, spanking children is ineffective. All you teach and encourage is:

- resentment

- anxiety

- aggression to hit others

- violence is acceptable

- anti-social patterns

- misbehaviors

- anger

- desire for revenge, you were hit, you've seen others do it. As adults if you are provoked, you can also lash out and hit kids and it is OK

- humiliation - don't lie to yourselves, you must have felt this if you were hit

I still believe in conditioning children and praising children for doing well.