What is Marriage?

[Saturn]

I've heard a million times that according to Christianity "marriage is the union of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others". Can anyone tell me where exactly this definition originates? Is it really how the Bible defines marriage? I was under the impression that the Bible defines marriage as the union of one man and any number of women greater than 0. I'm not sure where the definition of marriage appears in the Bible but I am fully aware of numerous men in the Bible who had several wives. Also, several Christian sects believe in polygamy, so which of the two definitions is the actual one?

[Adelle]

I did research this question for the "Sex and Religion" section of my site and it is defined as a union between one man and one woman for all "People of the Book" --- now. Early Jews, Muslims and some Christians were allowed to wed more than one woman under various conditions (like ability to support, personal or family obligation, etc). The Mormons are renowned in that area but polygamy should not be mistaken with cultism and it's abuses, which seems to be the case in American media.

Personally, I define marriage as a declared agreement of a socially symbiotic relationship between two or more people to be terminated or modified at the discretion on those involved.

[Renegade]

Personally, I define marriage as a declared agreement of a socially symbiotic relationship between two or more people to be terminated or modified at the discretion on those involved.

Adelle, personally I agree with your definition as a good basis for a legal definition of marriage.

Would you consider a brother and sister living together in a "socially symbiotic relationship" married?

[Saturn]

Personally, I define marriage as a declared agreement of a socially symbiotic relationship between two or more people to be terminated or modified at the discretion on those involved.

Adelle, personally I agree with your definition as a good basis for a legal definition of marriage.

Would you consider a brother and sister living together in a "socially symbiotic relationship" married?

I don't see why not. They would share a home, bills, etc. and would care for each other like spouses do. They won't share only a bed. I don't see why the presence or absence of sex should define whether a couple is married or not. Many married couples don't have sex either but nobody says that they aren't married as a result.

[Saturn]

I did research this question for the "Sex and Religion" section of my site and it is defined as a union between one man and one woman for all "People of the Book" --- now. Early Jews, Muslims and some Christians were allowed to wed more than one woman under various conditions (like ability to support, personal or family obligation, etc). The Mormons are renowned in that area but polygamy should not be mistaken with cultism and it's abuses, which seems to be the case in American media.

Personally, I define marriage as a declared agreement of a socially symbiotic relationship between two or more people to be terminated or modified at the discretion on those involved.

To me that definition is far too broad. I can see two people in a relationship as a "marriage", but three or more people as a "club".

[Renegade]

To me that definition is far too broad. I can see two people in a relationship as a "marriage", but three or more people as a "club".

Why does it matter to you if there are two, three, or more in a "marriage"? What's the distinction?

[Adelle]

I see no reason at all why a bro and sis couldn't be considered 'married', sex included. The moral issue aside, the genetics would be a problem though. Birth control would be a must. Play safe; play happy, as they say.

As for Polyamoury or Polygamy, though I have no personal experience with the last I do know "couples" who have healthy, functional polyamourous relationships. It's a damn site better than adultery and as long as it works for them and they are happy, what diff? Only the legal responsibilities and benefits would be a concern under present laws and, hopefully, these will come in to line with reality sometime in the future.

Adelle

[crazymf]

See my title? Redneck Albertan.

Here's what it means:

Marriage is a one time deal, before God, or at least a JP. The question of a man and a woman, of course a man and a woman. Queers don't count, they're queers and should live their queer lives behind closed doors.

Marriage isn't to be taken lightly as it seems to be nowadays. Once you are married, it's for better or worse, not quit when things get stressful. We've been married for 24 years straight out of high school. I can't help but think less of people that get divorced merely because things aren't pretty at the time.

[Renegade]

Marriage is a one time deal, before God, or at least a JP. The question of a man and a woman, of course a man and a woman. Queers don't count, they're queers and should live their queer lives behind closed doors.

If the JP doesn't give a hoot that two homosexuals marry, why would you?

Marriage isn't to be taken lightly as it seems to be nowadays. Once you are married, it's for better or worse, not quit when things get stressful. We've been married for 24 years straight out of high school. I can't help but think less of people that get divorced merely because things aren't pretty at the time.

It would seem you have a very restrictive view of marriage. Are there any conditions under which you see that a marriage shoudl be dissolved? Adultry? Spouse Abuse? Or do you think a marriage should be forced to withstand that?

[JerrySeinfeld]

I've heard a million times that according to Christianity "marriage is the union of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others". Can anyone tell me where exactly this definition originates? Is it really how the Bible defines marriage? I was under the impression that the Bible defines marriage as the union of one man and any number of women greater than 0. I'm not sure where the definition of marriage appears in the Bible but I am fully aware of numerous men in the Bible who had several wives. Also, several Christian sects believe in polygamy, so which of the two definitions is the actual one?

Gay people shouldn't be getting married. They should be in the basement with a cueball in their mouth hanging out with The Gimp.

They should be wandering the woods waiting for unsuspecting canoe-trippers to drift downriver...

[crazymf]

Marriage is a one time deal, before God, or at least a JP. The question of a man and a woman, of course a man and a woman. Queers don't count, they're queers and should live their queer lives behind closed doors.

If the JP doesn't give a hoot that two homosexuals marry, why would you?

Marriage isn't to be taken lightly as it seems to be nowadays. Once you are married, it's for better or worse, not quit when things get stressful. We've been married for 24 years straight out of high school. I can't help but think less of people that get divorced merely because things aren't pretty at the time.

It would seem you have a very restrictive view of marriage. Are there any conditions under which you see that a marriage shoudl be dissolved? Adultry? Spouse Abuse? Or do you think a marriage should be forced to withstand that?

Marriage has to withstand all but the death of a spouse. My view of marriage is traditional. You say restrictive. If two people don't love each other, don't get married. Once they do get married, make it work above all else. If more people felt that way there'd be a hell of a lot less confused people in this country.

[Renegade]

If more people felt that way there'd be a hell of a lot less confused people in this country.

If more people felt that way, there would also be a hell of a lot more miserable people in the country.

[jdobbin]

Marriage is a one time deal, before God, or at least a JP. The question of a man and a woman, of course a man and a woman. Queers don't count, they're queers and should live their queer lives behind closed doors.

Justice of the Peace?! Leftist! Only Christians are officially married. The rest will die horrible sinful deaths. Commie.

[Higgly]

It's a legal contract. The rest is window dressing.

[crazymf]

If more people felt that way there'd be a hell of a lot less confused people in this country.

If more people felt that way, there would also be a hell of a lot more miserable people in the country.

Yeah, and they'd be forced to work out their problems instead of running away and being miserable anyway. Think of all the kids that would benefit.

[crazymf]

It's a legal contract. The rest is window dressing.

Only a small part of a marriage is a legal contract. The big contract is the promise(es) that you make to your spouse on that day. The continual commitment to the marriage at all costs is what makes it work. After almost 25 years, I'm reaping the benefits of having made it work. Financially, emotionally, sexually, whatever, I'm set. I feel sorry for the little people that can't stay the course. They have to start all over again if they fail on their marriage.

[Renegade]

Yeah, and they'd be forced to work out their problems instead of running away and being miserable anyway. Think of all the kids that would benefit.

Doubtful. Many would just be two miserable people forced together. I fail to see how having two miserable adults together creates a benefit for the kids.

[crazymf]

Yeah, and they'd be forced to work out their problems instead of running away and being miserable anyway. Think of all the kids that would benefit.

Doubtful. Many would just be two miserable people forced together. I fail to see how having two miserable adults together creates a benefit for the kids.

Well, the way I see it is slightly different. If those two people would have had their butts kicked by dad when they were kids, they'd probably have the wherewithall to work out their problems and be happy. Unfortunately, they probably came from broken homes or weren't forced to be decent human beings while they were growing up. The cycle repeats.

If they'd stop thinking about themselves only as such people do, and instead, sacrifice themselves for a time so the kids can see happier times, they might actually wind up being happy.

I have plenty of experience working problems as such. We got through it and it's not impossible or the easy way out. The end however, justifies the means in this case.

Tell me how long you've been married or why you think the way you do.

[Higgly]

Only a small part of a marriage is a legal contract. The big contract is the promise(es) that you make to your spouse on that day. The continual commitment to the marriage at all costs is what makes it work. After almost 25 years, I'm reaping the benefits of having made it work. Financially, emotionally, sexually, whatever, I'm set. I feel sorry for the little people that can't stay the course. They have to start all over again if they fail on their marriage.

I thought I was on your ignore list. What a relief.

[crazymf]

You are. However, if you can keep your personal derogatory comments to a minimum, I'd be happy to chat with you.

[blueblood]

Yeah, and they'd be forced to work out their problems instead of running away and being miserable anyway. Think of all the kids that would benefit.

Doubtful. Many would just be two miserable people forced together. I fail to see how having two miserable adults together creates a benefit for the kids.

Well, the way I see it is slightly different. If those two people would have had their butts kicked by dad when they were kids, they'd probably have the wherewithall to work out their problems and be happy. Unfortunately, they probably came from broken homes or weren't forced to be decent human beings while they were growing up. The cycle repeats.

If they'd stop thinking about themselves only as such people do, and instead, sacrifice themselves for a time so the kids can see happier times, they might actually wind up being happy.

I have plenty of experience working problems as such. We got through it and it's not impossible or the easy way out. The end however, justifies the means in this case.

Tell me how long you've been married or why you think the way you do.

I'd be fine with chucking out the whole legal thing associated with marriage, no shared money, no nothing, just the ceremony at the church and the party afterwards. I don't see the importance of that piece of paper, the ceremony would suffice. I think the legal part of it and the money part of it just cause problems and are completely out of tune with the times. With chucking the legal and money part of it out, those who don't take marriage seriously can get out of it without being ruined and for those who take it seriously it shouldn't matter.

[crazymf]

Why get married at all then? You can't stay married without total commitment. Otherwise you are a joke. Marriage is forever. There's no easy out. If you are willing to make that decision, live by it.

[Drea]

Crazy, although things worked out well in your situation, many marriages don't for many reasons.

Young people sometimes make the wrong decision.

Other times they may decide that it just wasn't the right thing for them.

Take me for example.

I met my husband at 16, married at 18. At 21 we decided to start a family.

I cut and run right there!

At 21 I had not experienced the world yet and wanted to. So I left him and went to college. Then I worked and had fun throughout my 20s. Then I settled down and had a family.

I would have been totally miserable had I stayed with my first husband. Although he was a great guy -- I just wasn't ready for the committment. Of course, at 18 I thought I knew everything!

Thankfully I was wise enough by 21 to make the right decision.

[blueblood]

Why get married at all then? You can't stay married without total commitment. Otherwise you are a joke. Marriage is forever. There's no easy out. If you are willing to make that decision, live by it.

just the ceremony in the church is enough for me to be committed, for others too, why do you need contracts or legal documents, to me that is the true joke needing to be bound by a paper contract to someone. I'm in agreement with the marriage is forever though and the church ceremony is the icing on the cake.

[crazymf]

Drea,

You didn't say if you remarried or not. What happened later?