olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) We should! No one should be forced to marry someone they don't want to marry, correct? Anyone disagree? Cybercoma? Edited December 14, 2011 by olp1fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacee Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 I disagree with interfering with people's personal choices. I mean how stupid would it be to interfere with someone's choice to have an arranged marriage?! I think we have enough laws on the books to provide necessary help to those who do not want an arranged marriage forced on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 I disagree with interfering with people's personal choices. I mean how stupid would it be to interfere with someone's choice to have an arranged marriage?! I think we have enough laws on the books to provide necessary help to those who do not want an arranged marriage forced on them. An arranged marriage is not a personal choice it is a choice made by the parents... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 An arranged marriage is not a personal choice it is a choice made by the parents... How can you prove that? Heck you can't even prove if Muslim women wear head scarves on their own accord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 http://www.thestar.com/iphone/news/canada/article/726066 http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2010/11/25/f-vp-fatah.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacee Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Exactly ... How do you decide and who decides? Some people choose arranged marriage. Others who don't want it already have protection in existing laws. Essentially it's up to the individual to decide, and to seek legal or other assistance as needed - eg going to a shelter for protection and calling police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 http://www.thestar.com/iphone/news/canada/article/726066 http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2010/11/25/f-vp-fatah.html Those links don't answer my question. In Canada you can't force someone to marry someone else but you also can't prevent families from dis-owning family members that don't agree to arranged marriages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) Those links don't answer my question. In Canada you can't force someone to marry someone else but you also can't prevent families from dis-owning family members that don't agree to arranged marriages. Yes you can, the same way visa marriages are checked out ..which essentially they are fraud marriages because they do not marry for love of the person but for their money, family name, prestige Ask them questions about each other and decide if this is a REAL marriage or not ..if not the Marriage should be null void In fact I believe before you can get married you should answer certain questions about the person you intend on marrying Edited December 14, 2011 by olp1fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manny Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 It should not be illegal to have them. But it should be illegal to force them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) In fact I believe before you can get married you should answer certain questions about the person you intend on marrying Such as? Grabs a bag of popcorn. Edited December 14, 2011 by Boges Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Exactly ... How do you decide and who decides? Some people choose arranged marriage. Others who don't want it already have protection in existing laws. Essentially it's up to the individual to decide, and to seek legal or other assistance as needed - eg going to a shelter for protection and calling police. These women are victims of abuse .. you say all they have to do is go to the police and everything will be alright? Everything is not as black and white as you may think You do not understand how it feels for your family and friends to shun you like I do because of religion and the culture that came out of it you have no idea of the pain it has caused me and you have no idea of the pain it causes women to have their parents force them into marrying someone they do not want to but do it anyway otherwise they will be isolated and alone ..and even in danger You don't have a fricking clue, none of you do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 It should not be illegal to have them. But it should be illegal to force them. I will change it to forced marriages then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shakeyhands Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 You don't have a fricking clue, none of you do Speaking of not having a clue.... You are dead wrong on all of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 These women are victims of abuse .. you say all they have to do is go to the police and everything will be alright? Everything is not as black and white as you may think You do not understand how it feels for your family and friends to shun you like I do because of religion and the culture that came out of it you have no idea of the pain it has caused me and you have no idea of the pain it causes women to have their parents force them into marrying someone they do not want to but do it anyway otherwise they will be isolated and alone ..and even in danger You don't have a fricking clue, none of you do So by making the shunning illegal that will make it all stop. I wouldn't wait up on that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) Speaking of not having a clue.... You are dead wrong on all of this. If anyone here understands how a controlling culture can take over your whole life and when you challenged it and eventually left you became isolated from everything and nearly everyone you once knew .. it is me Maybe that is why I am passionate about this ..I've lived in a controlling culture its you who doesn't understand because you haven't lived it Edited December 14, 2011 by olp1fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) If anyone here understands how a controlling culture can take over your whole life and when you challenged it and eventually left you became isolated from everything and nearly everyone you once knew .. it is me Maybe that is why I am passionate about this and the Muslim culture ..I've lived in a controlling culture its you who doesn't understand because you haven't lived it You come from a JW family right? So does my dad. it can be difficult to reject their dogmas but life is difficult get over it tough guy. If your family can't accept you for what you believe then it's their loss. Don't propose that government should step in matters of religious belief. Edited December 14, 2011 by Boges Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 So by making the shunning illegal that will make it all stop. I wouldn't wait up on that one. The whole religion of Jehovah Witnesses is insane..it should be illegal Until you lived as one for most of your life I don't think you'll understand just how controlling it is Shunning is barbaric ..I know all kinds of families separated and fractured due to Shunning including mine The point of shunning is to make you scared from leaving the organization ... so you will be unhappy about being a JW..still go to the meetings and everything and you really want to leave!!!!!!!!!!! but you cannot because your family will take it the wrong way and friends .. you're only supposed to shun disfellowshipped baptized witnesses but they'll shun you even if you aren't baptized ..it is all about control Its the same with Forced Marriages in other cultures .. if they do not adhere to their parents wishes the outcome will be ridiculously unpleasant for them...as if the parents are gonna go "oh, well, okay then! was worth a try" its abuse and nothing less Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) You come from a JW family right? So does my dad. it can be difficult to reject their dogmas but life is difficult get over it tough guy. If your family can't accept you for what you believe then it's their loss. Don't propose that government should step in matters of religious belief. Then your Dad knows Yeah life is difficult but it DOESN'T have to be made difficult by differing opinions on religion So I propose the government stop this mental abuse Ban forced marriages Edited December 14, 2011 by olp1fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 The whole religion of Jehovah Witnesses is insane..it should be illegal Until you lived as one for most of your life I don't think you'll understand just how controlling it is Shunning is barbaric ..I know all kinds of families separated and fractured due to Shunning including mine The point of shunning is to make you scared from leaving the organization ... so you will be unhappy about being a JW..still go to the meetings and everything and you really want to leave!!!!!!!!!!! but you cannot because your family will take it the wrong way and friends .. you're only supposed to shun disfellowshipped baptized witnesses but they'll shun you even if you aren't baptized ..it is all about control Its the same with Forced Marriages in other cultures .. if they do not adhere to their parents wishes the outcome will be ridiculously unpleasant for them...as if the parents are gonna go "oh, well, okay then! was worth a try" its abuse and nothing less So you're for Banning Religion now. Good luck with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 So you're for Banning Religion now. Good luck with that. I am for banning a controlling cult that does more harm than good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manny Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Speaking of not having a clue.... You are dead wrong on all of this. No I think he's right in a particular way that we, need to make sure people from other countries do not import those aspects of their culture that go against the laws of Canada. While I'm sure many families from countries with arranged marriages would like to see their children continue those traditions, they have to accept the fact that if their children disagree, then they are protected by the laws of Canada. At this point I'm not sure if it's even illegal. But then the question is, does it need to be, ie. do we need a specific law for this. I think not. If anyone refuses to participate in a ceremony, they have the right to remove themselves from it. Anyone stopping them could be charged with something like forcible confinement, kidnapping, something like that. If threats of violence are used, there are laws for that. I think the larger concern is that in a democracy, it's possible that one day the people who believe in these archaic practices might dominate the legislature and could possibly change the laws, so that Sharia law might become the law of the land. We need to take steps to protect the idea of Canada. People who emmigrate here have to embrace the ideas of Canada, that is, liberty and equality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boges Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 I am for banning a controlling cult that does more harm than good Defining "Controlling Cults that doe more harm than good can" might prove to be very difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Defining "Controlling Cults that doe more harm than good can" might prove to be very difficult. there are all kinds of help websites from ex JWs..all you'd need to do is read their stories..most of them are similar and tragic http://www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com/phpBB3/index.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olp1fan Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 These women are afraid to say no to their parents because in these cultures that leads to tragic results for them I doubt many will go to the police and then lose their whole family...which is what concerns me..we need to make sure these parents know that this is unacceptable in Canada At this point I'm not sure if it's even illegal. But then the question is, does it need to be, ie. do we need a specific law for this. I think not. If anyone refuses to participate in a ceremony, they have the right to remove themselves from it. Anyone stopping them could be charged with something like forcible confinement, kidnapping, something like that. If threats of violence are used, there are laws for that. I think the larger concern is that in a democracy, it's possible that one day the people who believe in these archaic practices might dominate the legislature and could possibly change the laws, so that Sharia law might become the law of the land. We need to take steps to protect the idea of Canada. People who emmigrate here have to embrace the ideas of Canada, that is, liberty and equality. That is one concern I have Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manny Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) These women are victims of abuse .. you say all they have to do is go to the police and everything will be alright? Everything is not as black and white as you may think You do not understand how it feels for your family and friends to shun you like I do because of religion and the culture that came out of it you have no idea of the pain it has caused me and you have no idea of the pain it causes women to have their parents force them into marrying someone they do not want to but do it anyway otherwise they will be isolated and alone ..and even in danger You don't have a fricking clue, none of you do Those are very good points, it shows how pressure is put on people from their own families, to comply with their wishes. I don't even know if a law would help with this part of the problem. In order for the law to become effective, someone would have to report it to the police (the bride for example). At that point she is calling the cops on her own family, and all the same problems you point out here still exists. The only thing I can see that would help is to have a better program to integrate immigrants into our society and our way of thinking. Stop them from wanting to do it. Chances are it will only be enforced by the first generation immigrants anyway, because in the next generation they are brought up here, they become infused with normal Canadian values, they don't want to follow the old ways in this case. But if any woman does have the guts to come forward and wants protection, she must absolutely get it. Edited December 14, 2011 by Manny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.9a49e1b2f22a6d34a345152c50044aa9.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.