Teen Virginity Pledges: Can They Work?

[Guest Warwick Green]

Teen Virginity Pledges: Can They Work?

Half of Pledgers Deny Pledge; Other Teens Become Born-Again Virgins

By Daniel DeNoon

May 2, 2006 - Half of teens who take virginity pledges deny it a year later. But many sexually active teens become born-again virgins after taking the pledge, a new study shows.

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In the first survey, 13% of teens said they'd taken a virginity pledge. A year later, 53% of them said, "What pledge?"

On the other hand, about a third of teens said they'd had sex. A year later, 10.5% of these kids said they were virgins.

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http://webcenter.health.webmd.netscape.com...ntentSRC_nsmain

[RB]

the kids nowadays are never punished for anything though, I mean they can lie and its A) ok, engage in sex and its cool etc. etc.

They have no standard, and lack moral for themselves, the teens need to concentrate on school and exercise their brain

[Rue]

They have no standard, and lack moral for themselves, the teens need to concentrate on school and exercise their brain

"They". Talk about generalizing. What is it every generation that ages thinks it can put down the one after it. What suddenly happens in adulthood that makes someone feel they can lecture younger people about exercising their brain when we as adults destroy this planet with war, economic injustice and pollution?

The fact is the next generation are exposed to hundreds of thousands of ads from adults deliberately using sex to teach them that everything in life is expendable. If things are expendable they get thrown out and then new products are bought and the world of materialism can continue.

Instead of lecturing children or young adults about using their brain how about you use yours to remember what it was like to be young and faced with conflict.

Imagine what it would be like to be young today being constantly sold everything with sex.

Imagine the pressure at 9 to look sexy and not be fat.

I doubt however it would even dawn on you the pressure these kids feel.

As for sex with young kids the post missed the point. If children can't remain virgins its not because they are liars or failures or to weak, its because of a sexual climate being shoved down their faces.

Start with the concept that oral sex is safe. During the last 10 years, young girls have been forced to engage in oral sex with young men because it is widely believed this is safer sex.

Next up is the most obvious of obvious points - where the f...ck are the parents? I tell you where they are - they are at work leaving their children alone and unsupervised.

How many adults are out working or worse still, out getting drunk or stoned leaving their children unsupervised.

How many young children turn to sex because they are not supervised and feel unloved?

Where are the parents when their children go to school? Do they bother to take them any more? Do parents bother to sit down with children and talk anymore?

Do adults have the time to sit and talk with children and encourage them to believe their self-esteem does not depend on being sexually desireable?

Why do I think the same adults who lecture young people on using their brains are the same people that would never admit they enjoy seeing Lindsay Lohan in a t-shirt.

Give it a rest and lets support young people not put them down. Lets tell them they have options other then sex and take an active role in taking pressure off of them instead of acting high almighty.

[betsy]

What suddenly happens in adulthood that makes someone feel they can lecture younger people about exercising their brain...

Experience.

[betsy]

Imagine what it would be like to be young today being constantly sold everything with sex.

Yes...and at the same time having to deal and worry about all these fatal STDs you get from sex.

Talk about major conflict. With all the pressures...how can it be that fun being a kid anymore?

In a way, makes one feel sorry for them.

[BubberMiley]

There have been fatal STDs for centuries. I think kids have it much better than when I was growing up, and I think overall their values are stronger too. I'm quite optimistic about the next generation, though they do seem a little too conservative.

[Rue]

What suddenly happens in adulthood that makes someone feel they can lecture younger people about exercising their brain...

Experience.

You make a valid point but my point is what you consider to be valid experience could be in fact bad habits or prejudices you have developed. Not all experience reflects wisdom. Sometimes we adults get so set in our ways, we miss the point that we may have become negative or self-destructive and are now trying to impose that on the next generation.

As for the refrain that the next generation has had it easy that is absolute bull. Each generation has its own challenges and problems to deal with.

Our next generation has a polluted dying planet, global terrorism, unemployment and pandemics to face. To say they have it easier is dumb and dumber.

Every generation has its struggles. I think the major challenge for the one after us and the one after that if there is one, is in dealing with the polluted planet.

We adults tend to think in the present tense and forget what we are leaving behind.

As for STD's existing in every generation that is a valid point and they too eventually killed when left untreated but I think the probable difference today is that kids are being pressured into having sex in a different manner then in the past.

There was a time when children were allowed to be considered hands off. One only need look at an old Shirley Temple movie or the Wizard of Oz to understand that. Today Judy Garland would probably be wearing a cut off t-shirt, have nipple piercings and be having group sex with the Munchkins, Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion if not a lesbian affair with Glinda.

As for Batman and Robin, think about it.

[RB]

Instead of lecturing children or young adults about using their brain how about you use yours to remember what it was like to be young and faced with conflict.

Imagine what it would be like to be young today being constantly sold everything with sex ...

Give it a rest and lets support young people not put them down. Lets tell them they have options other then sex and take an active role in taking pressure off of them instead of acting high almighty.

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I remembered very well when I was a teen which is why I can make judgements moral and all. The fact is if you guide kids in the right direction with the right information, they can make their choices correctly.

Kids are not ready for sexual relations, intercourse or whatever. My believe is that if the kids are frenzy then teach them to masturbate, take them to some activity, a gym and have them work out for 3 hours, - that will teach to release all those pent up energies, let them play chess for an entire day that'll teach them to be little masters. Plus they will do better in school being fit.

I mean why should I compromise and support disapproving behaviours? The expectation of a child is not to be liberal as they can with sex oral or otherwise.

Plus I believe sex belong in marriage.

However, situations like Clinton-Lewinsky situation ("I did not have sexual relations with that woman...") have a lot to do with the perception of sex with the kids.

First, oral sex is not really sex. I mean the youths are taking sex to mean penetration of the vigina.

[Rue]

"The fact is if you guide kids in the right direction with the right information, they can make their choices correctly. "

LOL. I suppose you decide what is the "right" direction and the "right" information since you figured out what oral sex is.

I feel better knowing you will be their to guide the next generation..at least when you are not busy generalizing and writing them all off.

[Slavik44]

I remembered very well when I was a teen which is why I can make judgements moral and all. The fact is if you guide kids in the right direction with the right information, they can make their choices correctly.

Kids are not ready for sexual relations, intercourse or whatever. My believe is that if the kids are frenzy then teach them to masturbate, take them to some activity, a gym and have them work out for 3 hours, - that will teach to release all those pent up energies, let them play chess for an entire day that'll teach them to be little masters. Plus they will do better in school being fit.

I mean why should I compromise and support disapproving behaviours? The expectation of a child is not to be liberal as they can with sex oral or otherwise.

Plus I believe sex belong in marriage.

However, situations like Clinton-Lewinsky situation ("I did not have sexual relations with that woman...") have a lot to do with the perception of sex with the kids.

First, oral sex is not really sex. I mean the youths are taking sex to mean penetration of the vigina.

Well I am 19, so I think I remember being a teen, fairly well myself. I think you can give kids information and generally they will actually make wise decisions, more so then they are given credit for, that being said

what they decide may not always be in line with what their parents want, I think that is a fact of life parents need to accept.

As well I belive the majority of people who would be in favour of these so called "virginity pledges" are the same people who are probabley agaisnt masturbation, so I doubt that is an acceptable answer to people who strongly promote virginity pledges.

I would also not suggest getting a child to work our for three hours straight, after about 45 minutes to an hour and fifteen minutes most benifiets of weightlifting wear off. It is a bit like being in the sun, it is good for a little while but after too long you get sun burnt. Seeing as how childrne are still growing the possible damages to development coudl be exponential.

You have also said that you belive sex belongs within marrige, what if however your child concludes differntly given the information they have been provided? Is this a tragedy? Or is it a fact of life? And What is it that you can really do to stop them, besides promotign some guilt inducing pledge that may caus esoem teens to associate sex/sexuality with guilt.

Many posts seem to be based on the idea that sex amongst young teens is rampant, but even in

the so called hyper sexed world we live in the evidence is clear, in 1995 about 40% of kids aged 15-17 had sex, while it is now down to about 30%, I belive those results are not due to "virginity pledges" instead the fact that despite what you have said, there is an association of consequences with actions. STD's and pregnancies, so not only are young teens being smarter in regards to sexual behavoir, but they are choossing to have sex less often. If this is somethign you are worried about you msut recognize the key is probabley not in the moral arguement but in being educational and understanding not morrally superioir and condescending.

[RB]

You have also said that you believe sex belongs within marriage

In fact, I insist that a puritan state exists until marriage.

Currently greater that 70% of teens have had oral sex or such, the stats goes up if college kids were questioned.

Besides the pop culture, and finger pointing to capitalism promoting free sex it is my thinking that folks are confused and allow free accessibility to their bodies before marriage - the "in" thing to do gets promoted.

Sex it seems is some socially sanctioned deviant behavior that brings the rebels of children to their knees, an ironic reason I think why sex is rampant outside of marriage, and in my view IMMORAL.

Did the children figured that the economic dependence of females on males in the past was seen as analogous to prostitution and wanted to reverse this shift. yes?

Ideally we would like men to be domesticated with sex inside marriage, like no more excitement of gazing longingly at other females.

Anyway, there is some confusion as to how to behave now that females are liberated. I mean females are already very late in their discussions with the word "sex". It is a reality that women sexual life is greatly obscured by lack of sex vocab. In essence men and women just do not speak the same sex language.

Here is what I mean, I don't believe the young ones grasp what is meant by being a free woman or a free man. Free woman used to mean a woman with a reputation and a free man meant noble being without any restraints.

Nowadays free for women means "cool" but is also analogous to lack of modesty and lost of respectability because "free" is common "property" like free sexual access to many sexual partners and lack of responsibility for consequences, free for men means you, you and you without restraints. The meaning of being a free man had never changed but becomes more enticing, like now, it gave many other new possiblities for the taking.

Look, all people have the right to self-possessed their bodies and to withhold or give their hearts and romance at their will. This is the agenda that should get promoted for girls, as their personal freedoms with higher rather than lower moral values.

Because I am a female I believe we must continue to empower girls to make their choices independent of the demands of being socially cool.

Plus we can forgive men as the source of problems because girls can set standards of excellence and assigned privileges for men to be associated with themselves. Marriage should be viewed as sacred thing.

Good grief, I think men have tainted women by compulsion.