Return to the Religious Fold - 1967 and Today

[jbg]

I am writing this post after having attended the traditional annual observance of a death, "Yart-site" (sp). I have gone most years since my Dad died, on January 5, 1973. I skipped last year since my mother was in the hospital for a broken ankle, and duties to the living always supercede duties to the dead. This post covers my initial alienation and later return to Jewish life. Though I am to this day not observantly religious, I do now partipate, proudly and actively.¹

My religious education started, in Scarsdale, New York, during Academic 1967-1968 (Jewish Year 5728) with a lovely Hebrew School teacher on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and a very good Sunday school teacher for the religious component of my Jewish education. That year I developed a genuine interest in both the religion and learning Hebrew. This was in preparation for what became my May 2, 1970 Bar Mitzvah.

Thereafter, each year the instruction deteriorated. By my Bar Mitzvah year, Academic 1969-70 (Jewish Year 5730) spitballs were flying around regularly in the religious school class. People were mimicking the thick Israeli accent of the Hebrew School teacher. Myattitude became, essentially, that if the teachers and administration of the Temple didn't care about my Jewish education, neither did I. I cleaned out desk on May 4, 1970, never to return to religious school. To be fair to the Temple, this was the 1960's, the era of "do your own thing."

Two things, neither spiritual, brought me back into the fold. The first, by itself, wouldn't have made a difference. I was 15 at the time. During late October 1972, I met someone at my high school weather club for the first time who I now consider my closest friend, who had a decidedly gentile last name. Let's call him "Jim Smith" (not his real last name). I was telling one of the typical bad "there was a lawyer, a rabbi and a priest" jokes. Mr. Smith interjected immediately "you're Jewish, aren't you? Don't you have pride in that?" Shamefully I conceded he was right. I didn't think we were going to be friends since he was wearing a "Nixon and Agnew in '72" button. I was a member of Students for McGovern. The second thing was more significant. My father, a decided agnostic, was rapidly sickening and dieing that fall. I do note that despite my father's agnosticism, we both walked to Temple on Yom Kippur 1972, about a one-mile walk. I think he knew that it was his last.

On January 4, 1973, knowing that death was imminent, my mother and I had a long session with our Rabbi to go over the eulogy. He explained much about the Jewish approach to death and post-death, an approach that has a lot to recommend it. he died peacefully early the next morning, January 5, 1973. That renewal of instruction in Judaism, on a serious basis and without the spitballs, really piqued my interest.

After his death, I realized that many of my childhood friends had little to offer. Compared to other high school students arriving from elsewhere in the District they were quite immature. Thus, the story returns to Jim Smith, and other similar friends I made through the Weather Club, the student newspaper and the high school band, which I had joined in September 1972. I pretty much reshuffled my deck as to who my friends were after receiving condolensce notes that were barely written in English from my grade-school friends. And this in an affluent Jewish school district in suburban New York. That spring, I attended, on my own and without my mother the Temple's communal Seder. The next fall, for the first time, I fasted on Yom Kippur.

Fast forward first to last winter. Jim Smith's father died, and I was in attendance at the Shiva. Yesterday morning, his mother passed away.

Again, fast forward to today, when I was honoring my father's Yart-site (sp). When I was at the Temple's Torah study group's minion (yes, the same Temple I grew up in) they asked for names of people we were honoring by the Kaddish, whether for Schloshim, or Yart-site (sp). Before reciting my father's name, I mentioned that a close friend's mother had passed on but was yet unburied. I mentioned my understanding that Kaddish not be read for that person. The Rabbi confirmed it, whereupon I uttered my father's name.

After study group, I shared my experiences both with someone I knew from high school band that spring of 1973, and someone I just met this morning. The consensus was that this generation that is in it's middle-age now is a fair bit more religious than the prior generation. I think it's a good sign for the vitality of the religion. Almost weekly adult Torah study has replaced spitballs. Back in the day, there was no adult Torah study. Even better, many of my sons' peers actually care about Judaism.

It is, of course, easy to be alienated from religion, or any activity. All it takes is a bad coach, teacher, or peer experience. The tricky part is getting someone back. In my case, it took a combination of my cracking a bad joke, and then a tragedy. In my view, it's worth it.

Thoughts?

¹This thread is similar though not identical to one I started at BloggingTories (link). Before posting, I ran this by the Greg Farries, the forum Administrator and got his approval.

Jim

Edited January 10, 2010 by jbg

[Michael Hardner]

Thanks for your post, jbg.

I think that Judaism is different from the Christian religions today, in that there is a stronger community and social aspect to participation in the faith. It wasn't always so, but it is like that today.

I'm part of a secular community that, to me, is building itself up along the lines of the religious community I experienced as a child. It's a community of artists, writers and performers with an informal ethic and loose bonds, but nonetheless it is there.

I feel that economic specialization splintered our geographic communities so that the traditional village of commoners with common interests is forever gone. But we still need to create communities for ourselves.

You're lucky that you have Judaism to go back to. Peace to you.

Edited January 11, 2010 by Michael Hardner

[Oleg Bach]

We have a way of destroying personal family history. The corporate and liberal persons of influence do not want you to have a past. Ask the typical Walmart employee where they are from and they get totally offended. Because they are now part of the glorious corporate collective where the minimum wage earner is not some lowly employee but and "accociate" and so so proud of belonging. It is a very good thing too know where you come from and who your great grand parents where and what they did - IF you want to know why things are the way they are you must make a study of religion which is tradition which is history..very few Christians have gone to the core of the movement - for the most part they are a compliant state sucking bunch of weasils - and when questioning a young Israeli you on whether he believes in God - and he answers "no but I believe in the State of Israel" - then if this is common small wonder they are having power vacumes pop up constantly - YOU must know where you come from to know where you are going.

[jbg]

Thanks for your post, jbg.

I think that Judaism is different from the Christian religions today, in that there is a stronger community and social aspect to participation in the faith. It wasn't always so, but it is like that today.

To some extent, the "social" aspect is built in through the enforcement of the requirement of ten (10) people, known as a minion, to worship. Also, since study and debate has always been part of Jewish life (at least since the beginning of the Common Era, also known as "after Christ") community and social aspects have a long standing.

I'm part of a secular community that, to me, is building itself up along the lines of the religious community I experienced as a child. It's a community of artists, writers and performers with an informal ethic and loose bonds, but nonetheless it is there.

I feel that economic specialization splintered our geographic communities so that the traditional village of commoners with common interests is forever gone. But we still need to create communities for ourselves.

You're lucky that you have Judaism to go back to. Peace to you.

I think your observations have some validity. I will give it more thought.

[Shwa]

I feel that economic specialization splintered our geographic communities so that the traditional village of commoners with common interests is forever gone. But we still need to create communities for ourselves.

I dunno, that sounds a titch urban-centric to me. I visit small towns all over Ontario on a regular basis and there are plenty of 'villages of commoners with common interests' all over the place. Some of them a mere 15 minutes from the large urban centres. And my visits into WNY show me the same thing.

You need to get out a little more bud.

However, it makes sense that in large urban centres secularism will tend to blend the pot, but even in mighty TO there are still many neighbourhoods that retain their traditional religious or ethnic flavour. And the fact that some urban developers use the term 'enclave' when building new neighbourhoods suggest that we are not quite as cross-culturally bound as we may wish we were.

[Michael Hardner]

I dunno, that sounds a titch urban-centric to me. I visit small towns all over Ontario on a regular basis and there are plenty of 'villages of commoners with common interests' all over the place. Some of them a mere 15 minutes from the large urban centres. And my visits into WNY show me the same thing.

You need to get out a little more bud.

I contest that this is urban-centric, but I'll concede that it may be Ontario-centric.

My parents live 90 minutes from Toronto. In their area there are people who work in small industry, in tourism, agriculture, tech people who work from home and people who commute to Toronto to work for financial corporations. Now, they all live in the same place but a town-hall meeting for their area looks like one of those CBC "town halls" where the participants have little in common.

It may be different in, say, Woodstock or Almira... or even in Bracebridge which is likely all tourism now. My point is that economic specialization has been dividing people for awhile now, and that process seems to me to be accelerating.

However, it makes sense that in large urban centres secularism will tend to blend the pot, but even in mighty TO there are still many neighbourhoods that retain their traditional religious or ethnic flavour. And the fact that some urban developers use the term 'enclave' when building new neighbourhoods suggest that we are not quite as cross-culturally bound as we may wish we were.

In TO ? Really ? If you mean Jewish, or Pakistani neighbourhoods I heartily agree. Every other neighbourhood seems to be blending or moving, but - hey - it's a big city.

[Shwa]

I contest that this is urban-centric, but I'll concede that it may be Ontario-centric.

No, it's urban centric, I am guessing Toronto or the GTA.

Even in the smaller villages in Ontario you will find one degree of economic specialization or another. Not everyone can be the blacksmith, the tinker or the tailor. If you want to witness the commoners, go to a town hockey game where they are playing a neighbouring town. They'll let you know what they have in common.

[Michael Hardner]

Even in the smaller villages in Ontario you will find one degree of economic specialization or another. Not everyone can be the blacksmith, the tinker or the tailor. If you want to witness the commoners, go to a town hockey game where they are playing a neighbouring town. They'll let you know what they have in common.

Sure thing, there's always some diversity, but the main source of economic activity is getting more diversified, I think. I don't think diversions like hockey games are as good a good way to determine what the common interests are as the livelihoods of the people.

That's not to say economic diversification is a bad thing overall, but a lot of diversification makes a community harder to define.

These are just some of my ideas on what is degrading the idea of community today. There are also other factors, such as media (national media, narrowcasted new media etc.) and so forth. What do you think ?

[Shwa]

First, lets look at a comparison between rural and urban social engagement and civic participation as a sense of community.

Then let's try mapping the socio-economic diversity of rural Canada (with comparison to urban areas).

So then the next question becomes what is 'economic diversity' and has there been a significant trend towards more diversity?

Study: Emerging patterns in the labour market: A reversal from the 1990s

So what do I think? Hmmmm....

I still get a sense that we are in change-state moving from primary resource and manufacturing and into a service industry and that trend is continuing.

Service Sector Overview (2006)

So the next question is - does the range of service offerings count as 'diversity' when using the term 'economic diversity?' Within the service industry there are many job sectors or classifications, but it is still the service industry and I would bet that the majority of workers in the urban environment would be service industry workers.

In that sense, I really don't see too much diversity going on do you?

[Michael Hardner]

First, lets look at a comparison between rural and urban social engagement and civic participation as a sense of community.

Then let's try mapping the socio-economic diversity of rural Canada (with comparison to urban areas).

So then the next question becomes what is 'economic diversity' and has there been a significant trend towards more diversity?

Study: Emerging patterns in the labour market: A reversal from the 1990s

So what do I think? Hmmmm....

I still get a sense that we are in change-state moving from primary resource and manufacturing and into a service industry and that trend is continuing.

Service Sector Overview (2006)

So the next question is - does the range of service offerings count as 'diversity' when using the term 'economic diversity?' Within the service industry there are many job sectors or classifications, but it is still the service industry and I would bet that the majority of workers in the urban environment would be service industry workers.

In that sense, I really don't see too much diversity going on do you?

I am seriously impressed with what you have done here. Good job on finding those Stats Can reports.

To answer your question, I don't think that it's economic diversification, in that these are all services that are coming up, as you pointed out. But the question for the thread is for the community, so there is likely some difference there.

In the prototypical medaeval village, there were services, agriculture, and manufacturing working side by side, all providing services to each other. Today, although we're still talking about services, some of these may be massage therapists, some may be doing tech support for a multinational, some may be doing work-for-hire digital graphics for North American clients.

I'm not sure. The economic interests of today's smaller community (leaving the cities out, as you have said that my characterization applies more to them) appear to me to be still trending towards diversity but maybe less than I thought...

[jbg]

In the prototypical medaeval village, there were services, agriculture, and manufacturing working side by side, all providing services to each other. Today, although we're still talking about services, some of these may be massage therapists, some may be doing tech support for a multinational, some may be doing work-for-hire digital graphics for North American clients.

Besides obviously digital services how are things different now?