theloniusfleabag Posted March 14, 2005 Report Share Posted March 14, 2005 Dear all, This title may give the impression that is 'inflammatory in nature', I assure you it is not meant to be. Let me explain... I was reading an article on an Israeli website (Arutz Sheva) about passports being recalled in Canada, to have the word 'Israel' deleted from the passport if the person's birthplace was listed as 'Jerusalem'. Now, one of the reader's comments, 'Howie from Toronto', said the following... Since there is no holy book, and no Bible that states G-d gave the land of Canada to these European colonialists and imperialists, the cities of Canada do not rightfully belong to the Canadian Government. The country Canada is illegitimate. All countries should refuse to recognize the jurdisdiction of Canada over all cities there,...I have heard it said before, amongst Israelis, that the Bible is 'our deed and title to the land', including Judea, Samaria, and Gush Katif (Gaza).Now the toilet paper bit... A few years ago, I was talking with some friends that owned a business together, about starting my own business. At the time, the company I was working for was 'secretly up for sale', though the owner wad very honest with me about why, and he had offered me a 'retention bonus (of $5,000)' if I agreed to stay until the company was sold. (The reason for this was that I was the longest running employee and was an intergral part of the 'goodwill' that was added to the asking price). When I told my friends about this, they asked if this document (the owner had put the bonus offer on paper and signed it) had been notarized. I replied "No, I trust this man", and they told me, "That document is only worth it's weight as toilet paper". Now, if people like Howie from Toronto, and indeed many Israelis believe that The Bible is a legal document giving the deed of ownership to 'the chosen people', is it a legal claim, or worth so much toilet paper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Terrible Sweal Posted March 14, 2005 Report Share Posted March 14, 2005 The Bible is utterly meaningless in international law. It provides no valid claim to any territory anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocketRocket Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Agreed. And furthermore, the paper gets all crinkly and scratches if you try to wipe with it, so that counts it out of category #2. I guess we'll just have to keep it around for reading purposes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tawasakm Posted March 16, 2005 Report Share Posted March 16, 2005 The pages are far too thin to use as toilet paper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Terrible Sweal Posted March 16, 2005 Report Share Posted March 16, 2005 Too slippery, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eureka Posted March 16, 2005 Report Share Posted March 16, 2005 They need to be folded lengthwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theloniusfleabag Posted March 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2005 Well, judging from some of the responses, I know I won't be lonely in Hell...If I get there first, I'll try to save us all some seats by the stage... I should have guessed I would get nothing but a secular response...lol. However, Israel is acting according to 'biblical statutes' regarding the annexation of territory (such as taking Jerusalem from Jordan in the '67 war and procaliming it 'Israel's eternal capitol') and, laying 'biblical claim' to parts of Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon (as part of Eretz Yisrael). It was interesting to read some Jewish responses to this issue, as some said "Either the Bible promised us all of this land, or we have no claim to any of it.." So, are we reading the sh*t someone else wiped on blank paper, or is the bible 'the truth' and the 'heathen secularists' are currently wiping their ass with the word of God? BTW, the worst TP has to be that hi-gloss catalog paper. Second to that was the little squares of recycled newsprint at the U of C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tawasakm Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 If worst comes to worst you can sacrifice a sock in an emergency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Terrible Sweal Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Reminds me of a joke: A bear and a rabbit are both having a BM out behind the woods. The bear looks down at the rabbit and says "Hey rabbit -- d'you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit looks up and says: "No. Why do you ask?" So the bear grabs the rabbit, wipes himself with him and strolls away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tedpottel Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hmmm Since the Bible can be interputed in so mnay diffrent ways, and sometimes due to Languge barries there is no strait translation, It woual make cort VERY intrusting if the Bible was the law. Ted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowly_caterpillar Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 It would make court very confusing to have you participating, no offense but check that spelling it nasty. I agree completely. If we were to bring the bible more into court than it already is, as a reliable source, then we might as well dredge up greek mythology, just because the bible is more widely accepted as THE book doesn't mean that it should even be considerred, for law to succeed it needs to veer as far away as possible from following any religious routes, because if this were to happen conflict further down the path would be guaranteed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digby Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 I think if you study the bible the land spoken of is given to Isreal after the second coming of Christ . After Christ sets up to rule planet earth as earths king he alots this piece of land to the tribes of isreal . I think the jews are being a bit premature to use the bible as a deed now . If they was to look in the book they would find that at the time Christ returns to conquer the earth and become its king the jews as well as the other 9.5 tribes of isreal are in captiveity in the land of the asseryian as well as many other peoples lands . Isaiah 11 says at that time their will be a second exodus where the isrealite people will then be lead to their appointed land . And as far as your beleave system on hell you really should study it a little more .I think you will find its a second death in which you would be distroyed in . 87% OF THE TIME HELL IS USED its just refering to a holding place or your grave . King david (one of Gods favorite men ) asked for his soul (life) not to be left in hell . He was just asking that he would not be left in the grave . Nowonder people beleave the bible should be toilet paper they have no idea whats really in it .Seems modern Christianities mission has been to spread fairy tales instead of whats really wrote in the bible so as the people listening will just think the bible is just a fairy tale . What i like to ask is WHY ? Why so many use a bible only to hide whats really in the bible ? Why would you do that to a fairy tale? Most you people probly don't know what the bibles main message is . Its kept from you by this worlds False prophets . Most don't know the bibles main message is all about goverment . Mans corrupt . foolish goverment leading this world to a point that if its not stoped all flesh would be distroyed . BUT it is stoped at that point the Christ becomes King of earth and rules with a rod of Iron and makes this earth a wonderfull place for all . Its a simple message and its there plain if the book is really looked at . But most would rather use the book for toilet paper and let some other man tell them what unbeleavable tales are in this book . Sometime before you rip the pages out of the book to use for toilet paper . read rev 5 verses 9-10 and see what the song the saints sing in the future really is . You guys all think they will be singing in heaven if you listen to modern christianitys lies . But read it your self sometime ! See what the Saints will really be doing ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.