Sharks Deny Any Interest in Eating Trump

[robosmith]

Sharks Deny Any Interest in Eating Trump

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Calling his long standing fear of being devoured by them “delusional thinking at its saddest,” the world’s sharks issued a statement on Tuesday disavowing “any interest whatsoever” in eating Donald J. Trump.

“Given his constant intake of Diet Coke and hamburgers, there is nothing to indicate that Trump would be anything resembling a nutritious meal,” the sharks’ statement read. “The very thought of biting into him is nauseating.”

The sharks said that Trump’s anxiety about being eaten by them demonstrates “an inflated sense of his appeal, to say the least.”

“We thought the same thing when Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed he was eaten by a worm,” the sharks wrote.

“Why do these narcissists think they’re so delicious?”

In perhaps their most withering comment, the sharks concluded, “We might consider eating Trump if the only other thing on the menu was Steve Bannon.” 

For those who missed Trump ranting about choosing between electrocution and being eaten by a shark. LMAO
 

[robosmith]

You have no idea how hard it is to be Donald Trump

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Decapitation, electrocution and expectoration are just a few of the emerging hazards.

Donald Trump has been spending a lot of time lately fantasizing about his own demise.

“Haul out the Guillotine!” he wrote in a fundraising appeal on Wednesday, asserting that his beheading is “the Sick Dream of every Trump-Deranged lunatic out there!” A second email added that “THEY WANT TO SENTENCE ME TO DEATH!” and warned that he would be terminated if his supporters didn’t give him money immediately: “If we fail to have a MASSIVE outpouring of patriotic support — right here, right now — they’ll TAKE ME OUT and move on to their real target: YOU!!”

This was the most alarmed Trump had been about his own well-being since Sunday, when he addressed a rally under the blazing Las Vegas sun. Dozens of his supporters required medical care and six were sent to the hospital because of the 110-degree heat, following a similar episode at a Trump event in Phoenix a few days earlier. But Trump’s greater concern was for himself. During planning for the event, “everybody was so worried yesterday about you, and they never mentioned me,” he complained to the crowd. “I’m up here sweating like a dog. ... I’m working my a-- off.”

Trump did assure his heat-exhausted supporters that people were on hand to “throw water” at them if they lost consciousness. “I don’t want anybody going on me,” he reasoned. “We need every voter. I don’t care about you, I just want your vote.” He then predicted: “See, now the press will take that and they’ll say, ‘He said a horrible thing.’”

In a sign that the heat had, in fact, gotten to him, the fatality-fascinated former president further imagined himself having to choose his manner of death aboard a battery-powered boat that was foundering. “What would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery’s now underwater, and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there?” he wondered aloud to the Vegas crowd. “Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted?” 

I say stay on top of the boat cause the battery is CERTAINLY SEALED. LMAO
 

[robosmith]

Trump World Seems Worried

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As the presidential candidates head into their first debate next week, Trump’s people should be happy. Their candidate, of course, is dragging around a sled loaded with politically toxic baggage:

He’s a convicted felon; he was found liable for sexual abuse; he tried to incite an insurrection; his speeches include gibberish about sharks and a movie cannibal. He multiplies his own troubles at every turn, even undermining surrogates who keep trying to explain away his darker or weirder statements. And yet, against every rule of political physics, Trump is running even or perhaps pulling ahead of a reasonably successful incumbent.

But if Trump is doing so well, why is his campaign and its support system in right-wing media resorting to easily disproved lies? Joe Biden’s age has been a brutal factor in keeping his poll numbers low. The president is weaker of voice and stiffer of gait than he was even a few years ago, and more likely now to mangle a word or phrase. The GOP has its pick of examples to use to keep making that case, yet the party resorts to cheap tricks such as deceptive video editing.

Last week, for example, Biden was at the G7 meeting in Italy. The Republican National Committee released a video of him apparently wandering off from a group at a skydiving exhibition, like a confused grandpa looking for the van back to the senior-citizens home. The New York Post dutifully ran with the video. It looked bad—but as presented, it was a lie. Biden was turning to talk to a paratrooper just a few yards to his left.

The RNC video and the Post’s obedient amplification weren’t based on spin or interpretation. Someone had to have looked at that video of Biden in Europe and made the conscious decision to create a lie. Let’s just cut the frame right there so that Biden looks like he wandered off. By the time anyone figures it out, it won’t matter.

The video made the rounds, and maybe that’s all the RNC wanted. A lie, as the saying goes, gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. And, as I often point out, I am a grown-up who has worked with local and national politicians. I am fully aware that politics ain’t beanbag and dirty tricks are part of the game. But if your candidate is doing well, why take the risk? A party that thinks its candidate is in control doesn’t take the chance of pulling the spotlight away from the opponent, which is exactly what happens when campaign operatives get caught in a lie.

In the end, the Trump campaign has chosen the path of deception both because the weaknesses of its candidate demand it and because it’s a more reliable path to better media coverage and to winning over credulous and inattentive voters. Why bother telling the truth if lying works so well? 

 

It's because the pathological liar ex chief demands it.