Alberta turned 100 yesterday

[crazymf]

Maybe 100 years IS long enough.

Anyway, happy belated birthday Alberta.

[Big Blue Machine]

Happy Birthday Alberta and many many more.

[kimmy]

I attended the ceremony at the legislature yesterday. Here is my Kimmy-on-the-street report.

I arrived at the legislature grounds at about 11:00am, bought a coffee, and tried to find a place where I could see the stage. The stage was set up below the steps of the north entrance of the legislature. The reflecting pool had been drained and filled with folding chairs; the chairs closest to the stage were reserved for vip's; the rest seemed to be filled with seniors. The square was packed, and most of us had to stand. I picked a spot in the shade of the trees on the east side of the square.

The Emeralds started performing. Like, what the fuck. The Emeralds. Grrrrreeeaaaaat. Why? Maybe the Emeralds performed at the original ceremony 100 years earlier. Or maybe the organizers were hoping that people would be so glad to see the Emeralds leave that they'd give the politicians heroes' welcomes for chasing the Emeralds off the stage. At any rate, after torturing the audience with a number of travesties including "the Centenial Swing", the bloody god damned Bird Dance, and a Johnny Cash impersonation that would have The Man In Black vomitting in his grave, the Emeralds mercifully ended the suffering and wished us a happy day. It was a happy day before the Emeralds arrived, and it became a much happier after the Emeralds left.

With the Emeralds gone from our sight, the Royal Canadian something-something band arrived. I don't know exactly who they were, but it was an armed forces marching band. They were at the east entrance of the legislature and performed as dignitaries began arriving. The big-screen showed Clarkson, Martin, Klein, and others as they ascended the steps the legislature's east entrance. Applause broke out a number of times when the camera found Stephen Harper. Ceremonial RCMP also arrived out amongst the crowd, and a group of ceremonial RCMP horsemen were also present, over near the legislature. Also shown a number of times on the big screen, and receiving applause, was Alberta's oldest citizen, a Mrs. Mah, who is set to turn 110 soon. I bumped (rather literally) into Global's local news anchorwoman, Lynda Steele; she must have a high-chair behind that desk on TV, because she is tiny. She was with Kevin O'Connell who is also shorter than he looks on TV. Local CTV anchor Darryl McIntyre was also near where I was, and he is big, like hockey-player big. If a news-team rumble broke out, like in "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy," Darryl McIntyre could have taken out Global's contingent single-handedly.

Former champion figure-skater Kurt Browning took the stage to MC the event; he did a terrific job. He introduced the dignitaries, who were all warmly received. Kurt also introduced a bunch of actors representing historical personages, including Sir Wilfrid Laurier, Alexander Rutherford, Emily Murphy, William ("Bible Bill") Aberhart, William Herron, and others. Between the official speeches, the actors and Browning performed a skit in which Laurier and Rutherford were to read from the Alberta proclamation, but nobody remembered to bring the proclamation. They sent frontier scout Jerry Potts in search of it, apparently the only man fast enough to bring the proclamation in time for the end of the show. ("He's dead... but he's that good?" Browning asks incredulously.) The big-screen showed a number of vignettes of Potts in historic Alberta locations as he went about his mission, while on-stage Aberhart tried to get the microphone away from Browning so that he could lecture on the virtues of temperance, and Emily Murphy blustered at Browning's incompetence. It was not exactly masterpiece theatre, but it was fun.

Klein spoke, and was predictably Klein-like. Adrienne Clarkson gave a very nice speech, and spoke of meeting Klein back at a time when they were both working in journalism-- she mentioned Klein at that time defending the unpopular but important civil rights of a group of bikers. Paul Martin, before speaking on the centennial, told us that he had spoken to President Bush and expressed our full support in helping with their crisis, the crowd was enthusiastically supportive of the announcement. All three speeches were predictable stuff-- humble beginnings, bright future, proud of Alberta, important part of the Canadian family, etc etc. All of them were greeted warmly and with not a single cat-call to be heard.

Next up was poor Normie Kwong, Alberta's Lieutenant-Governor, who was visibly nervous and uncomfortable. He attempted to whip through his speech without pausing, and as a result was interrupted by applause a number of times. Kwong spoke of his hopes for the future, which included a healthier and more physically fit populace. This led to a hilarious moment: as Kwong stated "Many Albertans are out of shape," the big-screen for some reason cut to Ralph Klein, to the uproarious laugher of everyone. "What happened? What did I do?" Kwong wondered, having not seen the screen and left with no idea why everyone was laughing. I hope somebody explained it afterward, because I'd hate to think he left with the idea that we were laughing at him. Great fun.

Events on-stage wrapped up with the ceremonial cutting of a cake, the crowd joining a quintet of cute little kids singing "Happy Birthday", and the singing of Oh Canada. And then, cake was served with remarkable efficiency from a tent on the east side of the legislature. Tasty, with lemony frosting.

The ceremonies were nice, and the actual event finished neatly at 1:00pm. I wish I'd known to arrive at noon instead of 11:00, so that I could have missed the Emeralds. Aside from that, though, it was a very nice afternoon.

-kimmy

{"...there's cake!"}

[Guest eureka]

Nice report, Kimmy!

[Toro]

So did Saskatchewan.

[kimmy]

Nice report, Kimmy!

So did Saskatchewan.

Indeed! Happy belated birthday, Alberta Junior!

I kid.

-k

[Toro]

Saskatchewan aspires to be Alberta junior.