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Posted

I think it's time to inject a little levity into this most serious section. If I'm outta line the mods will boot this.

The War on Terrorism

A public school teacher was arrested this morning at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Mukasey said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isos Celes used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President

Posted

Its just a good thing this teacher wasn't packing a copy of On the Origins of Species. He probably would have faced immediate rendition to a friendly dictatorship to really ensure that justice could be done.

I said now watch what you say they'll be calling you a radical,
a liberal, oh fanatical criminal

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