Future Political News

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I'm Peter Mansbridge for The National.

Liberals were reduced to bare opposition status in a Tory majority parliament under Prime Minister Stephen Harper three years ago today.

Belinda Stronach, who won her seat by a single vote, folds paper airplanes daily in her seat next next to Paul Martin, who has suffered a nervous breakdown and refuses to resign. Martin, his unwashed hair now shoulder-length, has Scott Reid bring his meals into the Chamber so that nobody takes his seat during Question Period.

Jack Layton still shaves his head clean and sports a gold hoop in his left earlobe. His mustache is now a fully grown handlebar. "Call me Mr. Lover." he whispers to anyone within earshot - except when Olivia is around. "Let's make a deal, baby." Layton informed us today.

Harper sent Mackay on a two-year trek across the Prairies, to count all the missing grain elevators. Mackay got lost somewhere in the Palliser Triangle and hasn't been heard from again.

Harper today announced the renewal of Anne Mclellan's subscription to 'Guns and Ammo', sending it along to her work cubicle in the basement of the Agriculture Building in downtown Toronto, where Annie sexes chickens for a living.

Here's Keith Boag with his report...