11 reasons Iran endorsed Dubya for President.
1. Clinton-era sanctions more onerous than Bush-era name-calling.
2. Even "Moo-lahs" love Halliburton kick-backs!
3. If there's one thing all religious fundamentalists can agree on, it's the acceleration of Armageddon.
4. Question: If you were choosing a mortal enemy, would you choose a hockey player or a cheerleader?
5. Wants to get back in the "arms-for-hostages" business.
6. Felt sorry for him in the debates.
7. Legally obligated by the fine print in the October 1980 deal George Herbert Walker Bush negotiated in Paris.
8. Regional rivals Iraq on their western border, and Afghanistan on their eastern border, no longer pose a military threat, permitting (and encouraging) Iran to devote resources to nuclear ambitions.
9. Paranoia: Kerry, a decorated combat veteran, could kite-surf, undetected by Iranian radar, into the heart of Tehran. Bush, the occasional-guardsman, likely to alert security forces en route by crashing his car (at least 4 times), falling-off his bicycle (twice this year!), or upending his Segway scooter.
10. Sinclair Broadcasting has a Tehran affiliate.
11. Wants to see how the United States likes being the world's number one pariah.