Peanut Butter and Jam sandwiches are terrible, disgusting food items. They are the worst type of an already contemptible breed of food.
1. They pretend to be something unique and wacky when they are nothing more than gooey, gross mush. How FALSE they are!
2. When you first make these hypocritical sandwiches they act as though they bring both the best of Peanut Butter and the best of Jelly - but they really only capture of oil of the Peanut Butter and the, uh, slime... slime! of Jam.
3. They think they're better than Ham sandwiches! How can they even suggest this? But it's true, not ten months a go they suggested that Ham sandwiches were "over-rated" and "excessively fatty." But, then, in the ultimate flip flop maneuver, they suggested that we, the food consumers, would be best served by a PB&J - Ham alliance - what unholiness is this?
Both the Peanut Butter and the Jam are old and moldy. We need new life in our sandwiches, we need INTEGRITY in our sandwiches!
But Peanut Butter and Jam sandwiches have muscled their way into the hearts of the naive! It is truly disgusting that so many unknowing souls sit down for lunch, or maybe a light dinner, and eat these foul beasts!