The Baron of Banality Posted February 10, 2004 Report Posted February 10, 2004 - Tuesday, February 10th, 2004: TONY CLEMENT ... today, Tony unveils his innovative new tax proposal which is designed as a revenue neutral way to give the newest members of the workforce a tax holiday and a head start ... under his plan, canadians would enjoy a tax holiday on their first $250,000 of income so that they could pay off their student loans and other educational expenses and buy their first cars, condos, furniture, etc. and basically be better able to cope at a time when their expenses are high because they must buy everything from scratch ... this tax holiday or deferrment - $21,000 for the average new entrant to the labour force - is particularly important to those who come from humble circumstances and don't have billionaire daddies and other advantages of privelege. BELINDA STRONACH - sure, Tony Clement may have a bright new idea today but Belinda will be buying a bright new dress! With an annual wardrobe budget of just $750,000, this typical single parent/working mother must make the most of her limited fashion budget so she will be examining 12 trunks of haute couture flown in from New York for her personal perusal. STEPHEN HARPER - today, Stephen will meet with the Holly Rollers of Red Deer - a youth group of evangelical christians on roller skates - and explain his plans to build a firewall around Alberta, to make heterosexuality compulsory and retroactive, and to kick the shit out of those uppity frenchies from Quebec. - WEDNESDAY, February 11th, 2004: TONY CLEMENT AND STEPHEN HARPER - today on a special edition of Don Neuman's daily political show on Newsworld (Channel 26 on cable in the GTA), these two Conservative Party leadership candidates will air and debate their views in a leadership debate of one hour commencing at 6pm EST. This is the first leaders' debate of the campaign and thus a good opportunity to learn and assess the views and take the measure of the candidates. BELINDA STRONACH - believing that political leadership campaigns are not the place for serious discussion and debate of political issues, Belinda will be sitting this debate out. Besides, she will be trying out crotchless panties and other intimate apparel from Victoria's Secrets as flown in for her inspection by her good friend Slime Bucket Billy Clinton who knows a thing or three such things. (She will be participating in the party sponsored debates but only because she is bound to do so by the rules or would be disqualified as a candidate.) Quote
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