sideshow
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These are from a book called Disorder in the American
Courts, and are things people actually said in court,
word for word, taken down and now published by court
reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.
_______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said
to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the
next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old,
how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting ......la.... uknowmos______
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shi**in' me? Your Honor, I think I
need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your
attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people. Would you like to rephrase that?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________
-- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been
alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law
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Having most of your party intentionally no-show so that you prop up a government that you say has no business governing is about as pathetic as it gets.
Then you try to say it's just because the people don't want an election right now...isn't that another way of saying that the present government is worthy of governing?
At least Her Majesty's unofficial opposition parties are standing in opposition.
I fully agree with the title of the thread...either support and work with the government or do your job and topple it. Every day that passes where you do neither is one more scoop out of the gaping hole where you used to store your pride and credibility.
FTA
Well if they supported the government, then they would eliminate the need for them as opposition. So they should just oppose the government outright. Or floor cross for personal benefit as all the parties do.
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I think I have more of a chance of being hit by a snowball from heaven while in Texas then Liz ever being PM.
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You sign a union card and you get to work at the job. You don't like it? Go find another job that is non union somewhere else. Nobody is forcing you to work for a certain company.
Only about a third of Canadians are unionized, so I am sure all the whiners and criers can go get a job at a non union job anytime they feel like it.
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Generally speaking, if you don't act like a dick, the police won't have to taser you.
Exactly. Police don't just go pulling innocent people off the streets and tasering them. Idiots.
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The police are the ultimate power. They are our standing army. Most enter the force to serve because they believe in maintaining order and goodness. It is not the police that are corrupt. If you get to know them you will find that most are frustrated and disillusioned with the judicary..once the trust and confidence of the police lost because of a cowardly and corrupt judicary - all power is lost. A politician or buisness leader can declare all the laws they want and they do not mean squat...for without the man and woman in blue who carry an instrument of deadly force on their hips...the political has no power what so ever - the power comes from the cops gun.
..Our leaders could pass a million laws and without the cops we would just laugh in their face..what are they going to do - bodily beat us up if we do not comply? I adore the cops and stand by them..they are the only ones who truely understand the sewer that is society at the high and low end - cops are tops and are not corrupt - it's the jerks who attempt to control the cops that are creepy...so in the short run...I for one support these fine men and women if full - for they are the only ones with real power - the rest are just rats who coerce lie and cheat to get their way and expect the cops to do their dirty work.
Couldnt agree more.
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The facts are more Canadian's have died at the hands of Police than have been killed by terrorists in Canada.
Yes and it also is true that more Canadians died at the hands of unemployed people then terrorists as well. Whats your point? Shut up, get down, and don't attack. Keeps you from feeling lead.
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I find it interesting that some here have already assumed these cops are guilty when they were CHARGED, not CONVICTED. That means they are innocent. Innocent until proven guilty. Or does that only apply to the dirt bags that the dirt bag defence lawyers represent?
I have the utmost respect for the men and women that put their lives on the line and provide the citizens with the measure of safety that they so righteously spit on.
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I am not sure how private makes things better.
Private-cost plus profit.
Public-cost.
Should be a no brainer. The only problem is the mismanagement of the public system. Overpaid execs, and not enough proper management. Happens with private industry too, which is why many many many businesses fail.
Toyota Unionization
in Federal Politics in Canada
Posted
The reason Toyota treats their workers so good is to keep unions out. So indirectly/directly, the toyota workers receive higher remuneration for their labours/better treatment, because of the caw. This is true in most industries where the non unionized companies must compete for labour with unionized employers. Workers will always choose the better work environment to expend their labour, so non unionized companies have to be competitive with the unionized ones.
The argument of not needing unions because we have labour laws is rubbish. First off, labour laws vary from province to province, and for those in the federal section (ie. cross border transport, banks, etc.). Second, labour laws are relatively weak in many areas, and collective bargaining agreements generally bargain "rules" and "laws" above the minimum standard required by the legislation.
For the writer that mentioned "Imagine of police forces became unionized...", do your homework. Other then the RCMP who are not unionized (and cannot be due to a supreme court decision), most police agencies are unionized. But, like firefighters, paramedics, etc., they fall under essential services legislation (in almost every jurisdiction) which takes away the right to strike (ie. withhold their labour services to pressure the corporation, ie. government to meet their bargaining demands) but affords them final arbitration bargaining. Its deemed a fair trade off.
And if anyone makes a decision to purchase or not to purchase a product due to the fact that a company is unionized that is their perogative. A stupid one in my opinion as i look for the best product for the best price, but just like we have tree huggers and whale lovers, we also have right wing hacks that make their decisions based on ideology rather then common sense.
On the lighter side.....
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped
over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.
'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you,
but I'm blind and can't see.'
'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my
fault.. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see
you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?'
'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never
seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.'
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft,
and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and
a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!'
The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of
animal are you?'
The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to
examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well,
what kind of an animal am I?'
The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold,
you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls...You must be a
defence lawyer.