Should One Being Trans be Disclosed While Dating?

[Perspektiv]

Maybe something is wrong with me, by all means. I am incredibly upfront. What you see, is what you get. I don't sugar coat. 

Some women love it, some hate it, but one thing is for certain, you will know where you stand and where I stand from the onset. 

I don't understand how to lie. I am straight up. I don't even wear hats as have a receding hairline. I just trim short, and own it proudly. Some women have told me the confidence is sexy, and I think the same would ring true with a trans woman who owned her transness and just knew she was sexy and badass. 

I don't worry about if a woman will like me. I am more concerned if she is worth my time. Don't call me, I'll call you. 

Own it. 

[CdnFox]

43 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

I agree with most of your post, but finding out my significant other was a hitman likely would be as much a deal breaker as them telling me they are trans. 

well - hopefully even more so  

But the thing is - your significant other did not give you reason to believe that they WERN'T a hit man. So you haven't deceived them, they just don't have ALL the facts about you which is what dating is for.

However - they DID give you reason to believe they were female. And they are not biologically. I would argue one is simply a matter of not having told you everything yet while the other is having indicated something that isn't true.

43 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

 

I date a woman, expecting a biological woman, just like I expect her to be standing on her two feet. 

It's not the same. Everyone has things about them you can't know till you start talking. But - if someone presents themselves as female, that's the same as if she had said up front she didn't drink and then admitted later she was recovering.

43 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

If she acted like she had a job, and then told me she was unemployed and homeless I am sorry, am not a crutch. I see this closely to be being heterosexual. I make no apologies about it. I also like to be attracted to the women I date.

Well again that would be a case where she deliberately deceived you and i would say you'd be right to walk.

43 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

Of course, most things can be told later, but certain things should be known up front. 

Sure and if they're important to you then you should ask - and they should answer honestly. BUt if they've already said "i'm a girl" by their behavior, manner and dress then if they're not they've been deceptive.

43 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

So many hope you trap you, and grow on you like mildew. To me, that is the most toxic means of starting a relationship, as it's started on false pretense.

True enough

[impartialobserver]

I would think that something such as being trans would come out in the first exchange (written, oral, text, whatever)

[Guest]

1 minute ago, impartialobserver said:

I would think that something such as being trans would come out in the first exchange (written, oral, text, whatever)

Well, definitely oral.

I'll get my coat...

[CdnFox]

2 hours ago, bcsapper said:

Well, definitely oral.

I'll get my coat...

I hate you for the fact i laughed...

[Perspektiv]

To me, if it's fair game to hide your transness  I feel its fair game to hide my divorce, my financial status (especially if bankrupt) and other things that only mildly affect you.

Heck even a drinking problem, as long as I don't black out and take it out of you for making me a lukewarm sandwich when I asked for a warm one. There is a difference.

[Perspektiv]

Being trans is now seen as wearing gold earrings vs silver. What's the difference, right? Earrings are earrings.

 

 

[Perspektiv]

On 4/7/2023 at 5:44 PM, impartialobserver said:

I would think that something such as being trans would come out in the first exchange (written, oral, text, whatever)

If we are on a first date and you kiss on the first date, I agree. 

If I kiss on the first date and then invite you to my place and don't know you have a she penis, I have the right to be annoyed.

Sorry, but you can't gaslight me into thinking its just a very long outtie vajayjay. 

It isn't assault worthy, but I would be mad, and in opinion, rightfully so.

[reason10]

Maybe we should be asking the liberal men here if they would knowingly date a trannie. Assuming the liberal men were heterosexuals, how would that work out? If the date is going well and things are getting romantic, and it somehow leads to them ending up at his/her/its apartment, how would the liberal heterosexual male handle a partner for the night who has a dick? How would that work out?

Like I said, I DON'T envy single people today. I will say that in general trannies aren't very convincing when they try to look like women. It's probably easy enough to tell if a prospective date is packing a dick.

[Perspektiv]

11 hours ago, reason10 said:

How would that work out?

I know men who have.

I was in Bangkok, and you honestly could not tell with some trans women, looking at them. They have some of the best surgeons on the planet. 

From Adam's apple shaving, to facial reconstruction, hips, butt, natural looking breasts. 

I was fooled by a woman I winked at in a 7/11. 

Better looking than some of the Thai women I have dated. 

Then she called for the man she was with, in the deepest voice, ever o_O

He was drunk. I don't think he knew, but thats not my problem.

They know their best chances are with drunken men. Sober men may not want to experiment that much.

I got tipsy on one evening, and tripped on a sidewalk. A trans woman beelined for me and grabbed me by the arm, talking about: "hey baby, can I go home with you?"  Again, deepest voice ever.

That sobered me up real quick.

If you can get past the deep or nasaly voice, then I don't see the issue.

I am shallow. I like girly voices and am a sucker for a pretty girl who looks pretty without makeup.

[reason10]

10 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

I know men who have.

I was in Bangkok, and you honestly could not tell with some trans women, looking at them. They have some of the best surgeons on the planet. 

From Adam's apple shaving, to facial reconstruction, hips, butt, natural looking breasts. 

I was fooled by a woman I winked at in a 7/11. 

Better looking than some of the Thai women I have dated. 

Then she called for the man she was with, in the deepest voice, ever o_O

He was drunk. I don't think he knew, but thats not my problem.

They know their best chances are with drunken men. Sober men may not want to experiment that much.

I got tipsy on one evening, and tripped on a sidewalk. A trans woman beelined for me and grabbed me by the arm, talking about: "hey baby, can I go home with you?"  Again, deepest voice ever.

That sobered me up real quick.

If you can get past the deep or nasaly voice, then I don't see the issue.

I am shallow. I like girly voices and am a sucker for a pretty girl who looks pretty without makeup.

When I was single, I was maybe the shallowest dude out there. A vagina was a MAJOR requirement for ANY dating I engaged in. Then again, back in those days people weren't as sick as they are today.

[Perspektiv]

On 6/14/2023 at 9:25 AM, reason10 said:

When I was single, I was maybe the shallowest dude out there. A vagina was a MAJOR requirement for ANY dating I engaged in. Then again, back in those days people weren't as sick as they are today.

I don't understand how some view those seeking women who are biological as transphobic. 

Like rejecting a penis, somehow doesn't make you straight anymore. It makes you bigoted.

To me that is insanity.

[CdnFox]

1 hour ago, Perspektiv said:

I don't understand how some view those seeking women who are biological as transphobic. 

Well it's some twisted logic - let me walk you through it.

As you know, Issues regarding sexual discrimination have been around for quite some time. There is a large body of law that protects women for example from sexual harassment and opens the door to a number of programs for them. It also Allows them to participate in sports separately from men so that they can compete with people of equal standing.

The trans community is just starting to fight for its rights. So it's looking to cut some corners. They started out saying that trans women should be treated like women. However that does not give them access to all the laws that women have. They therefore changed their story to trans women ARE women. And their human rights include every single human right and legal right that a woman would have.

 

If they don't claim that trans women are actual physical women then it makes that argument much much harder. Part of that is Pressuring straight people to date them as if they were women. Otherwise they're admitting that there is a difference and they can't have that if they want to achieve their agenda.

 

So it's all part of the trans women are real women biologically and every other way so help us God movement.

[Perspektiv]

5 hours ago, CdnFox said:

Pressuring straight people to date them as if they were women.

There is also intense pressure in their respective community towards lesbian women, to date trans women. Where one who is turned off by male genitalia, is somehow being transphobic.

It ignores the reality  that love is a choice.

[reason10]

10 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

I don't understand how some view those seeking women who are biological as transphobic. 

Like rejecting a penis, somehow doesn't make you straight anymore. It makes you bigoted.

To me that is insanity.

Pretty much.

[CdnFox]

6 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

There is also intense pressure in their respective community towards lesbian women, to date trans women. Where one who is turned off by male genitalia, is somehow being transphobic.

It ignores the reality  that love is a choice.

It ignores an awful lot of things.

[Perspektiv]

On 6/26/2023 at 11:11 AM, CdnFox said:

It ignores an awful lot of things.

Unfortunately. 

Nobody has the balls to confront them, as they are petrified of being labeled as transphobic. 

I mean, they even have coined terms to silence biological women concerned for the erosion of their rights, to make way for this group.

Those who confront them are met with violence and vitriol.

 

[Michael Hardner]

37 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

Unfortunately. 

Nobody has the balls to confront them, as they are petrified of being labeled as transphobic. 

I mean, they even have coined terms to silence biological women concerned for the erosion of their rights, to make way for this group.

Those who confront them are met with violence and vitriol.

 

Oh stop it.  We had a whole protest last week that was national and included lots of messages that were unsupportive of Trans people being acknowledged in education. 

They were supported by a national leader.  That is the political landscape for both sides and you're no stranger to making generalizations and calling out an agenda.

 

Stop whining.

 

[Aristides]

Dishonesty is no way to start a relationship.

[Michael Hardner]

Just now, Aristides said:

Dishonesty is no way to start a relationship.

Maybe a thing is "there are secrets other people should know" ...

[CdnFox]

4 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

Unfortunately. 

Nobody has the balls to confront them, as they are petrified of being labeled as transphobic. 

I mean, they even have coined terms to silence biological women concerned for the erosion of their rights, to make way for this group.

Those who confront them are met with violence and vitriol.

 

Well - given enough time there's always a backlash.  We're seeing a little of that with the million person marches for parents rights right now

[Perspektiv]

3 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

Trans people being acknowledged in education.

Sorry, but teaching kids that gender is on a spectrum that is unlimited and encouraging them to explore this, isn't acknowledgement. Its indoctrination.

12 years of age or older, would be an appropriate age to teach this to kids. 

They have a greater capacity to understand such concepts.

Teaching it younger and keeping the concepts as vague as possible, has nothing to do with understanding or with visibility.

[Michael Hardner]

10 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

Sorry, but teaching kids ...

You stepped right into debating the point and seemed to forget that your point was that we're somehow not allowed to discuss transgender issues.

I guess we are then.

[Michael Hardner]

10 hours ago, Perspektiv said:

 12 years of age or older, would be an appropriate age to teach this to kids. 

The curriculum agrees https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontario_sex_education_curriculum_controversy

"Grade 6 students being taught about gender expression and masturbation"

I agree with criticism of the material that was Sanctioned in Georgia, that Graham posted.  However it was about clarity and confusion - debateable and reasonable discussion points there.

[CdnFox]

5 hours ago, Michael Hardner said:

The curriculum agrees https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontario_sex_education_curriculum_controversy

"Grade 6 students being taught about gender expression and masturbation"

I agree with criticism of the material that was Sanctioned in Georgia, that Graham posted.  However it was about clarity and confusion - debateable and reasonable discussion points there.

Some kids in grade 6 are below that age.

Grade 7 is about the earliest you should be getting into it with kids as a group. If parents feel their individual kid is ready for the talk earlier then great, have at it.