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Hot off the Presses - Screw the American Hordes

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TO: Conservative Senators, Congressmen, Wall Street Sugar Daddies

FROM: CEO-in-Chief, George W. Bush

RE: Cramming Social Security Privatization Down the Rooster-Necked Throats of the Feeble Near-Dead Hordes


As many of you may recall from the recent campaign, the lynchpin of the domestic policy I occasionally mentioned (when not stirring my bubbling cauldron of brimstone-scented terror gruel) was "reforming" the socialist ATM machine known as Social Security.

Invented by that snotty pinko cripple FDR over seventy years ago, Social Security represents our easiest target to firebomb as we redouble our efforts to restore America to its Great Depression gilded age – a time when the otherwise asinine secular theory of "natural selection" saw its only worthwhile application: facilitating the acquisition of whole fleets of Duesenbergs for my grandpappy Prescott and his Hitler-fellating cronies. Because who wants a merciful meritocracy when you're born with mad loot?

"Screw the American Hordes"

This pretty much sums up Junior's concern for the masses. Bleed them dry--it makes for a good laugh, doncha think?

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