wyly Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 what would be the point of spanking them after they had burnt themself? I'd say that burning themself would have already taught them not to touch the stove. The swat on the but is intended to prevent them from climbing on the stove or running into the road when telling them no, or giving them a "time out" has not worked to correct the behaviour. This post sounds pretty stunned. Have you actually raised any children? People with no kids make these kind of moronic statements all the time. No matter how attentive a parent you are kids will still get into things that are dangerous to them. A light swat on the butt that saves them from themselves is not cruelty it is good parenting. it's you that's stunned I guess...4 kids, none burned and they don't run on the road, what moron would punish their kids for their negligence, don't answer that I know the answer...I guess your parenting skills aren't up to my mine... we leash dogs so they don't run on the road but expect a toddler to know better, right you really know kids well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest American Woman Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 (edited) ....what moron would punish their kids for their negligence.... I don't think "discipline" is necessarily synonymous with "punishment," but I don't think DrGreenthumb is referring to either with his examples. You can prevent a child from touching the stove, but a quick swat on the butt will be remembered by a child more than words will if there should ever come a time when an adult isn't shadowing the child 24/7. I consider myself a great parent, but there were times when my kids momentarily slipped away from me/got into potential troublesome situations. It's virtually impossible for parents to "make sure there is no chance of danger to their children," which is why we have to teach them what is/isn't dangerous; and I believe that's what DrGreenthumb was referring to. I think, also, a swat on the butt might be justified if a child is hurting another child. It doesn't hurt a child to learn that if he hits/kicks/bites/pushes someone, chances are someone might hurt him back; in fact, it might be to their advantage to learn that from their parents before they learn it the hard way from someone else. Having said that, I didn't spank my children, but I don't think those who do give their kids a quick swat on the butt are wrong. I was spanked as a child and hold no emotional scars and/or ill will towards my parents, we couldn't have a better relationship. It's the total picture that matters; discipline and punishment are but one aspect of parenting. And as has already been pointed out, there's a huge difference between a "spank" and a "beating." Edited November 26, 2009 by American Woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GostHacked Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 it's you that's stunned I guess...4 kids, none burned and they don't run on the road, what moron would punish their kids for their negligence, don't answer that I know the answer...I guess your parenting skills aren't up to my mine... we leash dogs so they don't run on the road but expect a toddler to know better, right you really know kids well... I have seen many kids on leashes. Might was well treat them like a pet. American Woman And as has already been pointed out, there's a huge difference between a "spank" and a "beating. Some kids are just born good and nice and won't need much discipline. Others need a more hands on approach. But in the end Greenthumb to me is correct. It is all how it is administered. It's good to know the difference between a spank to get the childs attention or beating the child which I will say is abuse. ON a lighter note, I know some ladies who really like spankings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyly Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Better stay scared, too...... nice avoidance of the question...so we can assume you're onside with raping and beating wives... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyly Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I have seen many kids on leashes. Might was well treat them like a pet. they are pets and just as dumb but far more valuable...if you can take the time to ensure the safety of a pet failing to do so for a child is super dumb and negligent... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocketRocket Posted November 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 It also has the pschological effect of making the child recognize that there are consequences for not abiding the parent's authority. This has been my argument in support of spanking for years. To clarify, however, I do not condone "beatings". Combined with spankings (when necessary), I also believe a child should be praised/rewarded when he has done something noteworthy, complimented when he does something which is expected of him, but does it particularly well, etc. This teaches "good" consequences, just as the spanking teaches "bad" consequences. One of the major problems in our society is the fact that so many people want all the privilege, but none of the responsibility. Being aware that all actions have consequences, both good and bad, is a crucial building block in creating a responsible person. Anyone who does not recognize that actions have consequences is simply not equipped to deal with the real world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGreenthumb Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 This has been my argument in support of spanking for years. To clarify, however, I do not condone "beatings". Combined with spankings (when necessary), I also believe a child should be praised/rewarded when he has done something noteworthy, complimented when he does something which is expected of him, but does it particularly well, etc. This teaches "good" consequences, just as the spanking teaches "bad" consequences. One of the major problems in our society is the fact that so many people want all the privilege, but none of the responsibility. Being aware that all actions have consequences, both good and bad, is a crucial building block in creating a responsible person. Anyone who does not recognize that actions have consequences is simply not equipped to deal with the real world. It seems some parents would rather wait for the justice system to "spank" their children for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocketRocket Posted November 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 It seems some parents would rather wait for the justice system to "spank" their children for them. Things go well beyond that. Some people want the world handed to them on a platter. We live in a culture of entitlement, where many seem to think it's their "right" to have what everyone else has. Many of these same people do not feel it is their responsibility to EARN those things they want. You gotta work for what you want, and if you want a civilized child, then raising the kid is going to require time and effort, not to mention a lot of luck. IOW, it's a job. If you ain't up to doing the work, don't take the job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest American Woman Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 nice avoidance of the question...so we can assume you're onside with raping and beating wives... Avoidance? I didn't think, for a minute, that your question could possibly be serious since one has nothing to do with the other. Why not "assume" I'm onside with slavery? Segregation? Torture? They're all as relevant to the topic of 'disciplining children' as "raping and beating wives" is. Furthermore, comparing "rape" and "beating" to a "quick swat on the butt," and drawing the asinine conclusion about me that you did, makes me really wonder about you. So I chose, and remain to choose, not to go off topic and/or dignify your question with an answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyly Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Avoidance? I didn't think, for a minute, that your question could possibly be serious since one has nothing to do with the other. Why not "assume" I'm onside with slavery? Segregation? Torture? They're all as relevant to the topic of 'disciplining children' as "raping and beating wives" is. Furthermore, comparing "rape" and "beating" to a "quick swat on the butt," and drawing the asinine conclusion about me that you did, makes me really wonder about you. So I chose, and remain to choose, not to go off topic and/or dignify your question with an answer. ha! as good as saying I'm right...it wasn't considered rape to force sex on a wife nor was beating a wife anyone's business and normal...just as spanking a child is considered normal...gawd I love it when I'm right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyly Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 It seems some parents would rather wait for the justice system to "spank" their children for them. oh right lol, ya please show us the stats that spanking kids prevents crime... "my kid is not a criminal because I spanked him when she was 3 for running on the road" great logic that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbg Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 I had a friend call the police because his 12yr old kid was acting up damaging his garage, he asked the cop to take him away and lock him up, the cop knew what was up and put the kid in the back seat of the cruiser for a half hr and had a talk with him, Jr had a scare thrown into him settled down and then was returned to his dad...worked out well for all involved, good police work...That frankly strikes me as being a happy medium. There are problems even with that approach.For example, I know of a situation where a family had two sons about 17 months, and one grade apart. The younger child, who had some developmental issues and got special assistance in learning, was bothering the older child in school. The family asked the school to talk to the children. The children mentioned being "scared" sometimes of the father in this relatively well-run home. The father, it seems, insists on at least some homework and household chores being done. The result, without further investigation, was a referral to Division of Family and Youth Services, and an investigation of the family. The social worker quickly terminated the investigation. The problem is that sometimes even constructive approaches to authorities can badly backfire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyly Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 That frankly strikes me as being a happy medium. There are problems even with that approach. For example, I know of a situation where a family had two sons about 17 months, and one grade apart. The younger child, who had some developmental issues and got special assistance in learning, was bothering the older child in school. The family asked the school to talk to the children. The children mentioned being "scared" sometimes of the father in this relatively well-run home. The father, it seems, insists on at least some homework and household chores being done. The result, without further investigation, was a referral to Division of Family and Youth Services, and an investigation of the family. The social worker quickly terminated the investigation. The problem is that sometimes even constructive approaches to authorities can badly backfire. that's a bit vague without knowing all the details, it leaves a lot of unanswered questions... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cybercoma Posted December 5, 2009 Report Share Posted December 5, 2009 Media bias. This was clearly adult on child hate crime. Tantrums are part of the child culture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BubberMiley Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 I don;t think any parent who hits their child doesn't get a little thrill from the power they feel by doing so. Some even get off on it. It's not like it works as a discipline measure, so there must be other motives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyly Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 I don;t think any parent who hits their child doesn't get a little thrill from the power they feel by doing so. Some even get off on it. It's not like it works as a discipline measure, so there must be other motives. yup, I can't think reason for the few times I did it that it was for any reason other than satisfying my own frustrations as a parent... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbg Posted October 8, 2012 Report Share Posted October 8, 2012 yup, I can't think reason for the few times I did it that it was for any reason other than satisfying my own frustrations as a parent... For not practicing the guitar enough? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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