What about women who abuse men?

[tango]

I'm aware that abuse of women by men remains a major problem in our society. However, I'm personally aware that the reverse often happens and it seems to be an unspoken issue on 'some' discussion boards and raising it at all can get you banned.

What about here?

I could tell several stories but I'll start with my next door neighbour with whom I share a wall.

Last night, screaming profanities, she threw her boyfriend's stereo out the door. This morning I woke up to the same sound of her screeching profanities at him at 6:30 in the morning. (In case you're wondering, no one else in our pleasant and quiet neighbourhood acts that way.) She routinely intercepts his phone calls from his kids and doesn't tell him they called. She frequently pulls out all the phones in the house and hides them in the trunk of her car, messing up his chances for work as well as his family/social connections.

She treats her son the same way - terrorizes him.

With any response/reaction, she calls the cops on him, her son, his girlfriend, or anyone in her path.

I've lived here 6 years, and with one man after another it's the same thing, and when there's no man in the house, she picks on her son.

I gotta say ... women like this who abuse men do a lot of damage to the women's movement, and so does not being willing to talk about it.

Maybe I'm just venting because she woke me up at 6:30, but I'm curious about the opinions of others here.

Is this abuse? Do men consider this abuse? Do they speak out about it?

[Bonam]

Is this abuse? Do men consider this abuse? Do they speak out about it?

Abuse like this definitely exists, but I imagine most men would generally be too embarrassed to speak of it, and, anyway, everyone would just laugh at them if they tried. Imagine a guy calling in somewhere saying "my girlfriend abused me!". No one would take him seriously. There is no recognition of "reverse gender abuse", no organizations to go to for help, just as there is no real recognition of "reverse racism" and other such phenomenon.

That being said, and especially in this particular case, staying in an abusive relationship is, in the end, one's own choice.

[kimmy]

I'm aware that abuse of women by men remains a major problem in our society. However, I'm personally aware that the reverse often happens and it seems to be an unspoken issue on 'some' discussion boards and raising it at all can get you banned.

(Rabble/Babble by any chance?)

One of my co-workers had a long-time girlfriend (also a former co-worker) with a explosive temper. She would physically assault him, and because he is gentleman, he had no idea how to deal with her. His only response was to try to protect his face until she calmed down. I did not see any of her episodes, but I saw the damage on his face often enough to know he'd been beaten up; I never knew by who until one day when he'd been arrested. She attacked him on a public street, and he tried to restrain her; someone called the cops and guess which one spent the night in jail. I only found out it was her later when she was absent from work giving statements to the police.

He has a permanent scar on his face due to her psychotic temper. Ultimately she dumped him, which I am very glad of.

I am disappointed that I did not know what was going on sooner, and that I did not intervene. My gentle friend would have never raised a hand to her, but I certainly could have and should have.

-k

[tango]

Abuse like this definitely exists, but I imagine most men would generally be too embarrassed to speak of it, and, anyway, everyone would just laugh at them if they tried. Imagine a guy calling in somewhere saying "my girlfriend abused me!". No one would take him seriously. There is no recognition of "reverse gender abuse", no organizations to go to for help, just as there is no real recognition of "reverse racism" and other such phenomenon.

That being said, and especially in this particular case, staying in an abusive relationship is, in the end, one's own choice.

If there are kids, that leaves them at the mercy of the abusive woman, so some men don't.

If there are no kids, leaving an abuser can be dangerous: That's when abuse can become stalking, harassment or worse.

[Argus]

I'm aware that abuse of women by men remains a major problem in our society. However, I'm personally aware that the reverse often happens and it seems to be an unspoken issue on 'some' discussion boards and raising it at all can get you banned.

I've seen studies which indicate that substantial numbers of women in surveys and studies, at or near the same levels from men, had initiated acts of violence with their spouse or roommate. For the most part, women just aren't as good at is as men. Though, as I recall, one study did show women were more likely to hit with an object in their hands, perhaps to make up for the lack of weight in their fists.

My brother in law was attacked by his previous wife. She deliberately knocked over a jack while he was working on a truck and it fell on his back, almost killed him. No charges. There are rarely charges when women attack men, mostly because the damage is less and/or the men rarely report it.

[Bonam]

My brother in law was attacked by his previous wife. She deliberately knocked over a jack while he was working on a truck and it fell on his back, almost killed him. No charges. There are rarely charges when women attack men, mostly because the damage is less and/or the men rarely report it.

That's terrible, how could there have been no charges? Should have been attempted murder at least.

[Guest TrueMetis]

My brother in law was attacked by his previous wife. She deliberately knocked over a jack while he was working on a truck and it fell on his back, almost killed him. No charges. There are rarely charges when women attack men, mostly because the damage is less and/or the men rarely report it.

That's fucked. How could the police not charge her? That's assualt with a deadly weapon at least.

Edited August 15, 2009 by TrueMetis

[g_bambino]

That's fucked. How could the police not charge her? That's assualt with a deadly weapon at least.

It is indeed fucked. My brother was accused by his girlfriend at the time of breaking into his own home and assaulting her. Without anything other than the unfounded assertion of this woman, he was taken away and locked up in the Don Jail pending trial. He was in there for three or more months; lost his job and his place, in the meantime. As the case was just about to come up in court, she admitted she had lied; they had a heated argument, yes, but he never physically assaulted her. Instead of her being charged with lying to the police, the whole thing just.... went away. She never saw any punishment for her crime.

[Guest TrueMetis]

It is indeed fucked. My brother was accused by his girlfriend at the time of breaking into his own home and assaulting her. Without anything other than the unfounded assertion of this woman, he was taken away and locked up in the Don Jail pending trial. He was in there for three or more months; lost his job and his place, in the meantime. As the case was just about to come up in court, she admitted she had lied; they had a heated argument, yes, but he never physically assaulted her. Instead of her being charged with lying to the police, the whole thing just.... went away. She never saw any punishment for her crime.

So much for equality.

[Argus]

That's fucked. How could the police not charge her? That's assualt with a deadly weapon at least.

Whoops. Didn't mean to, or something like that. She was, and remains, ten years later, heavily medicated, to the point where, when they divorced, he was given custody of the three kids. And you know how often that happens.

[monkeyman]

I've seen studies which indicate that substantial numbers of women in surveys and studies, at or near the same levels from men, had initiated acts of violence with their spouse or roommate. For the most part, women just aren't as good at is as men. Though, as I recall, one study did show women were more likely to hit with an object in their hands, perhaps to make up for the lack of weight in their fists.

My brother in law was attacked by his previous wife. She deliberately knocked over a jack while he was working on a truck and it fell on his back, almost killed him. No charges. There are rarely charges when women attack men, mostly because the damage is less and/or the men rarely report it.

It was possibly because of Islam !

[Argus]

It was possibly because of Islam !

Shouldn't you be at school learning how to read and write in English?

[monkeyman]

Shouldn't you be at school learning how to read and write in English?

I already know it, but you should improve your culture. You're terrible!