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DogOnPorch

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Status Updates posted by DogOnPorch

  1. In another land where the breeze and the
    Trees and flowers were blue
    I stood and held your hand.
    And the grass grew high and the feathers floated by
    I stood and held your hand.
    And nobody else's hand will ever do
    Nobody else will do...
    Then I awoke
    Was this some kind of joke?
    Much to my surprise
    I opened my eyes.

     

  2. Thou hast committed — 
    Fornication: but that was in another country, 
    And besides, the wench is dead.
     
    (The Jew of Malta) 

     

    I 
    Among the smoke and fog of a December afternoon 
    You have the scene arrange itself — as it will seem to do— 
    With "I have saved this afternoon for you"; 
    And four wax candles in the darkened room, 
    Four rings of light upon the ceiling overhead, 
    An atmosphere of Juliet's tomb 
    Prepared for all the things to be said, or left unsaid. 
    We have been, let us say, to hear the latest Pole 
    Transmit the Preludes, through his hair and finger-tips. 
    "So intimate, this Chopin, that I think his soul 
    Should be resurrected only among friends 
    Some two or three, who will not touch the bloom 
    That is rubbed and questioned in the concert room." 
    —And so the conversation slips 
    Among velleities and carefully caught regrets 
    Through attenuated tones of violins 
    Mingled with remote cornets 
    And begins. 

     

  3. "Hello steady customer...Thank-you, come again...By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie!...Tonight I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99...."

    ---Apu 

    1. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      Aye...not a wee peep aboot Groundskeeper Willy. Cooked in a wee sheep's stomach. Tastes as good as it sounds!

      The Scot in me finds it all quite hilarious. 

      "You heard me! Deploy the delochinator!" 

      1098513.jpg.a0c5cfd98c7c40e20fb311977493e138.jpg

    2. Goddess
  4. "I don't support Iran's Mullahs. I just agree with what they say."

    ---Comment on CBC this morning.

  5. "IMPEACH 45 IMPEACH 45!!!!" 

    Shhhhh, Maxine. We don't control the Senate.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      Meanwhile...she continues to look like the mad woman from a Disney movie.

    3. scribblet

      scribblet

      Mad Maxine is in charge of finance, like putting a fox in the hen house

  6. "Irregularly crossing the border" much like robbing a bank is "irregularly making a withdrawal."

    ---Comment on National Post

  7. "It's like my Dad always said: Eventually, everybody gets shot."

    ---Moe Szyslak

  8. "Signs zee papers, olt man." 

    ---Cheech y Trump

  9. “If these writings of the Greeks agree with the book of Allah, they are redundant, useless and need not be preserved; if they disagree, they are pernicious, and ought to be destroyed.”

    ---Caliph Omar upon learning that a vast number of books from the Library of Alexandria still existed.

    The books were then burnt to warm the saunas of Alexandria. A six month supply, apparently.

  10. “So long as they (the Proles) continued to work and breed, their other activities were without importance. Left to themselves, like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina, they had reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them, a sort of ancestral pattern...Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbors, films, football, beer and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.”

    ---1984

    1. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      Let's hope, my dear Winston.

  11. (Phone Ringing)

    Mahn: "Hello?"

    Pedro: "Hey, Mahn...listen very carefully, man. Don't answer the phone, man. You got that? Don't answer the phone even if it's me calling, man, don't answer it because I think the phone is bugged, man...okay? Okay? Hello???"

    Mahn: "Hello???" 

    Pedro: "Hello."

    Mahn: "Hello???"

    Pedro: "Hey, what the Hell are you doi..."

    Mahn: "Hello??? Pedro???? Is that you, man?"

    Pedro: "No, man...it's uh...Freddie."

    .....

    1. DogOnPorch
    2. AngusThermopyle

      AngusThermopyle

      Now I want to watch Up In Smoke again.

    3. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      Oh wow, man....you drive JUST LIKE Steve McQueen!

       

  12. #BringBackOurGirls

    (now looking in Washington DC: no missing girls found)

  13. I don't know why I get into gunfights. I guess sometimes I just get lonely.

    ---Dennis Hopper (Billy Clanton: Gunfight At The OK Corral) 

    MV5BYTE4ZTQwODYtZDY3Mi00YWJhLWJlNzAtNGQ5

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. OftenWrong

      OftenWrong

      Let's fighting love...

    3. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      Protect my balls!

    4. Dougie93

      Dougie93

      Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

      quote-fast-is-fine-but-accuracy-is-every

  14. Shhh... Be vewy vewy quiet...I'm hunting Twumps.

    hqdefault.jpg

  15. I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.

    ---President Lincoln (March, 1861...before the US Civil War broke-out)

  16. Midnight with the stars and you
    Midnight and a rendez-vous

    Your eyes held a message tender
    Saying "I surrender all my love to you"

    Midnight brought us sweet romance
    I know all my whole life through

    I'll be remembering you
    Whatever else I do

    Midnight with the stars and you...

     

     

  17. The goal of Socialism is Communism.

    ---Lenin
     

    1. scribblet

      scribblet

      Pretty much the aims of some of the far left elected this term. 

  18. Doctor Seuss is now racist hate propaganda. Adjust your thinking accordingly. Be sure to burn any copies you have...preferably in a bonfire. 

    http://nationalpost.com/news/world/school-librarian-rejects-melania-trumps-gift-of-racist-dr-seuss-books

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      I recently seen a video of a "Latino" college student (self described) lecturing another student in a MAGA hat about the genocide of Natives in the Americas.

      You just can't make this stuff up...

    3. Hal 9000

      Hal 9000

      Clearly, she's just a bitch!

    4. scribblet

      scribblet


      They've completely lost it, is there anything that isn't racist these days?

  19. Show a little extra friendship...the United Airlines way!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4wIF32zROM

    1975

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Wilber

      Wilber

      They could have sweetened the offer for another volunteer. There were over a hundred other people on that airplane, someone would have volunteered. It might have cost them another five hundred or a grand plus a hotel. Even if it cost them ten grand it would have been well worth it because now it is going to cost them millions, maybe tens of millions or more in lawsuits and lost business.

      They should be ashamed of being such idiots.

    3. kactus

      kactus

      Argus you seem to have actually no clue of what actually happened on that flight. The flight was overbooked!!! And the passenger was randomly selected to voluntarily get off the flight...If they did that to me I would bloody make sure their a$$ gets sued for this, which is what is happening to United Airlines...Serves them damn right! 

  20. PA System: Attention all personnel . Due to a lack of casualties, today's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 in the morning... And midnight has been canceled.

     

    1. DogOnPorch

      DogOnPorch

      Kay Cee Jones - Japanese Farewell Song (1955)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUDqcnSuKWc

       

  21. And fight them until there is no fitnah and [until] the religion, all of it, is for Allah . And if they cease - then indeed, Allah is Seeing of what they do.

    https://quran.com/8/39

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